Pay for Residential Mental Health Treatment

Hi my name is Melissa. I have been suffering with mental illness my whole life. I currently have nine years clean and sober from drugs and alcohol. I have been diagnosed with bipolar two disorder generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD. I have been going through so many treatment modalities my whole life basically ever since I was eight years old I’ve been in and out of therapy. At 16 I’ve been on and off medication until now I am 34 years old. My mental illness affects my every day life in so many ways but for the most part I just don’t have the energy to participate in life and when I know something is good and it’s something that makes me happy I don’t feel it. I’ve also been feeling that I am a burden and a failure to my friends and family and I have let everybody down I feel like I am a bad mother and that my daughter would be better off without me and would be better with her and her dad. I tried to commit suicide on memorial day this year and ended up again in the psych ward that would have been my sis visit and my second suicide attempt. My doctor is suggesting a higher level of care which is residential treatment since I am currently at an intensive outpatient program at Aurora Las Encinas Hospital. It’s been very difficult finding a program that accepts my insurance and throughout the multiple times that I called my insurance company to send me lists of hospitals or treatment centers that are residential with primary mental health the list that they give me is all dual diagnosis or acute psychiatric hospitals which is not what I need. I was able to get in touch with somebody that found a residential mental health facility in Sacramento for me however it is out of network and I cannot afford it as I am on disability and unable to work at this time. I am fearful that if I am unable to get a higher level of care that I won’t get better and what if I succeed the next time I try to kill myself? I don’t wanna do that. This is some thing that would really help me to get better and live my life and return to work anything helps thank you!