Help A.J. Stay Safely Housed & in School

My name is A.J. (they/he) and I need your help - either financially, or with a bit of your time. I know we’re all exhausted, with the devastating state of the world. Even if you can’t personally help me directly, chances are, you know someone who’d be excited to help a friend of a friend. If nothing else, I ask that you take a moment to read my story.

To get right to the point, I’m in a very dark place. Myself and my cats are close to becoming unhoused. My mental health is at its absolute worst, and basic communication - phone calls, emails, and even typing this – are now causing me intense panic attacks. In November I began medically-supervised Spravato treatments. This is a newer method for treating severe depression. At the time of writing I’ve had 9 appointments. It has been lifesaving in helping to stablize my depression, but most patients don’t experience a “breakthrough” until many months into the process.

I’ve endured a debilitating number of traumatic events, both recently, and throughout my life. Despite battling multiple lifelong chronic health conditions, I’ve persevered and have managed to remain mostly functional, never late on rent or a bill until the past few months. I began fully supporting myself when I was 17. It took me 9 years to finish community college because I had to prioritize working to survive. I earned 2 associate’s degrees because I was determined to keep going back. I’ve been an engineering major at the University of Arizona for the past 4 years. I have about 4 full-time semesters remaining to get a B.S. in Software Engineering. But I likely will never finish the program, get my bachelor’s degree, or get a good job without your help.

I’m going to share more details about my recent struggles, and after that I will summarize my current financial obligations, as well as list various ways you can help me without money - even if you don’t live near me. I will also include ways I am able to help you in return. With that said, I truly do not want this assistance to feel transactional for you in any way. We’re in this together.

Whether or not you are able to contribute financially, it would mean the world to me if you shared this campaign with loved ones and on social media. You might include a short story such as how we met or something about me that has inspired you!

Content note: In the last few years I’ve survived multiple intensely distressing events. You are invited to skip this section and read about how you can support me, after the next photo break.

If you’ve met me, you probably know I’m empathetic, creative, intellectual, and devoted to important causes. Depending on how much time you’ve spent with me, you might see me as reserved or shy. But if you’ve been around me long enough to see me come out of my shell, you might also know the depth of my kindness, compassion, and insight. You’ll know that once I’m comfortable around you, I’m always cracking jokes. You may have even been [privileged to receive and/or victim to] a passionate infodump related to one of my special interests.

You might also know that I am always quick to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it. My friends mean the world to me, and I want to see them succeed and be safe, healthy, and happy.

When I stop doing these things – making my friends laugh, helping them out wherever I can – you know I am in a debilitatingly bad place. That is where I am now, and I can’t get out of this dark place without a significant amount of help.

Again, I do not want the assistance to feel transactional at all. It has never been about that for me. I help because I want to, because it brings me joy and because I have been privileged to be in a place where I was able to do so without hurting myself. Please do not feel obligated to help me because/if I have helped you in the past, or if you need help from me in the future.

The past several years, but especially the most recent few months, have been particularly cruel to me in a plethora of ways. I do not have the emotional bandwidth to go over that in detail at present, and I do plan on editing this later to include some of those distressing events. Suffice it to say that when it rains, it sure does pour.

Even things that generally bring me joy are physically painful currently. My medical team informed me that (on top of my myriad of other medical issues) I have tennis elbow, which is also impacting my neck, shoulder, and the rest of my dominant arm. I have physical therapy scheduled in February, but in the meantime, doing art literally hurts me. This, of course, also extends to other things that need doing, such as cleaning the litter boxes and dishes, but it really hits differently when someone’s passion is inacessible to them and brings actual physical pain.

To Be Continued

How Will Your Donations Be Used?

The $25,000 goal for this campaign is a best-case-scenario amount that will cover my immediate needs, as well as all recurring expenses for about 6 months. Even if I do not raise the full amount in the coming months, every dollar you’re able to give helps keep a disabled transgender person off the streets.

Monthly Bills:

Rent: $1,150 (I expect to find a new roommate soon which will cut this in half)

Total Credit Card Payments: $1,500

Internet: $55

Electric: $70 (winter) - $200 (summer)

Car Insurance: $182

Gas: $50

Vitamins & Personal Care: $100

Cat Food, Prescription Kibble, & Other Supplies: $150

One-Time Expenses:

Past Due Balance on University Account: $1,700 (must be paid before I can enroll in any more classes)

Functional Used GPU & Bracket For My PC: $100

Replacement Door Lock Actuators For Car: $100

4 New Tires & 1 Replacement Rim: $400

Paying Several Friends Back For Recent Help: $4,750

Things I Already Receive For Free:

Healthcare & Prescriptions (Medicaid/AHCCCS)

Phone Service (Lifeline Program)

Food (SNAP)

I also have some very kind, local friends who are able to give me rides to and from my (currently weekly) Spravato appointments, and can sometimes help with things like phone calls and small tasks like scooping litterboxes.

Non-Monetary Ways To Help

If there are any tasks listed here that you don’t already possess the information for, I am more than happy to provide you with details and/or be present with you during the task.

Key:

1 = One-And-Done, might take an hour or two of your time

# = Multiple Steps, for a finite period

∞ = Ongoing for the time being, might take 10 minutes a few times a week

Can Be Remote:

• 1 - Put me on your Spotify family plan – it’s the one subscription service I pay for, for sleep, during my Spravato treatments, and to generally help me regulate

• 1 – Put me on your Proton family plan – I am in the process of transferring my calendar, storage, and password management to Proton for maximum security. Additionally, as a vulnerable transgender person, access to a VPN is extremely important for online privacy and personal safety.

• 1 - 3 different calls to 1 credit union & 2 gift card companies to figure out why cards aren’t working

• 1 – Help me find out if there is a more affordable option for car insurance - my insurance through Metromile recently got transferred to Lemonade

• 1/# - Schedule time with me either in-person or on a call to keep me company while I organize my space – this helps me avoid a depression thought spiral

• # - Call junkyards local to me that may have the car parts I need, for less than I’d find on eBay. If not, try again the following week.

• # - Acquire tutoring / dog walking / cleaning / organizing clients, through a website or app - would require direct support setting that up because administrative tasks for myself are almost entirely inaccessible at the moment

• # - Get refund from gym that charged me incorrectly

• # - Get reimbursement from health insurance for 2 services I was mistakenly charged for

• # – Take inventory of all my credit & student loan accounts including minimum payments & interest rates; remove authorized users if applicable, close accounts I’m not using

• #/∞ - If you have the skills: help me with some of my software engineering projects for my incomplete courses, especially UML for Object-Oriented Modeling and Design, & Jama software for Software Requirements Analysis and Test.

Must Be Local:

• 1 – Accompany me to wash, & vacuum the broken window glass out of, my car at a self-service car wash

• 1 – Help make my bike rideable by giving it a tune-up, replacing the tires, and affixing a crate to the rear rack

• 1 – Drill holes and attach magnetic clasps to kitchen cabinet doors

• # - Extra set of hands to help finish applying peel & stick paper on cabinets & counters in kitchen and bathroom

• # - Provide ventilated space for me to sand & paint my bookshelves, give me a hand if possible

• #/∞ - Provide a well-lit space for me to sew and cut fabric without getting it covered in cat hair

• #/∞ - Provide a safe space a couple times a month for myself and 3-6 other LGBTQ folks to play the tabletop role-playing game I am running.

• ∞ - Meal prep with me 1x/week – Split the food cost and keep me company while I create a healthy meal plan and cook

• ∞ - Do free YouTube yoga videos with me 2+ times/week

• ∞ - Lift weights with me 2-3x/week – I own dumbbells and kettlebells so it can be free

• ∞ - Provide a place for me to do laundry 2x/month

• ∞ - Provide a place for me to bring my recycling 2x/month

What I Have To Offer You

Must Be Local:

• Running errands of any kind

• Pet sitting, dog walking, and unofficial/unlicensed dog training – I’ve been doing animal care for a long time and it’s been my main source of income for a few years. Read my 100% 5-star reviews here!

• Sewing and repairing clothing (I don’t own a serger or have experience in complex tailoring, though)

• Being a motivating workout / weightlifting / yoga / walking / hiking buddy

• Deep cleaning, decluttering, and/or organizing your home in a compassionate, non-judgmental way

• Artistic direction, helping to choreograph a performance, or informal acting coaching

• Helping you make & use sugar wax for body hair removal and/or using my at-home IPL

• DIY haircuts & help lightening and coloring your hair

Can Be Remote:

• Digital art, hand-painted canvas patches, cosplay clothing and accessories, wig styling, etc

• Tutoring you or your child – almost any subject through high school, and college courses like English, math, physics, and computer programming.

• Helping you learn to sew, knit, crochet, cross-stitch, cook, etc

• Unlicensed holistic nutrition consulting (I went to Bauman College for this from 2016-2018 but did not complete the program due to transphobia), customized meal plans, and bulk meal prep

• Helping keep track of your calendar and sending you text reminders

• Medical advocacy – attending doctor appointments with you and making sure your needs are taken seriously. I’m not afraid to demand fair treatment on behalf of my loved ones, and I have a lifetime of experience navigating systems that are intentionally designed to be hostile and inaccessible to us.

• Compassionately mediating difficult discussions between you and those closest to you, from a trauma-informed, alternative-lifestyle-positive perspective

• Support developing a strategy for managing your ADHD that works for you personally

• Helping you develop a skincare routine that works for you (I have experience based on both the Korean 10-step method and DIY “natural” skincare)

• Helping you revamp your wardrobe & style outfits – I don’t have any formal training but I have strong visual-spatial senses, and am pretty knowledgeable about Seasonal Color Analysis & personal styling strategies such as Kibbe and Kitchener.

• Custom magnetic poetry, using an existing word set or based on a theme of your choosing (can send in mail)

• Running a one-shot TTRPG for you or your game group, being a guest DM for your current campaign, or any similar adjacent involvement

Items Of Monetary Value For Trade:

• My 10-person Coleman tent, lightly distressed for post-apocalyptic camping. It needs one replacement pole, but is in generally good condition otherwise

• Canvas patches I designed and screenprinted – pink & white “I carry Narcan” in Barbie font, or black & white opossum playing dead with the caption “Punk’s Not Dead”

• Clothing, accessories, cosplay items, and shoes – if you wear an adult small/medium, and/or between size 7.5/9 – 8.5/10 shoes

• High-quality stickers & small art prints from 2 artists I’ve supported on Patreon over the years; Fyodor Pavlov and Artetak

• Various 6ml rollerball fragrance oils from a witchy/goth indie fragrance house

• Various craft supplies – jewelry making, yarn, paint, etc

• Cosplay foam

• A wine cooler

• An Instant Pot

If you do not have my contact information, please get in touch with the person who shared this campaign with you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you - from the bottom of my heart.

- A.J.