Provide Comfort for Grieving Mothers

Although I have not yet had the strength to share my story more publicly, I am reaching out to my friends, family, colleagues, and community to ask for your financial support to help provide comfort to grieving mothers who experience pregnancy loss in the Twin Cities. Even though my hands are shaking as I type this out, I am hoping to share my experience to help shine some light for others as they work through a really dark season in their lives.

Earlier this year, I survived an (entirely preventable) near-death miscarriage experience as Wes and I were preparing to welcome a baby girl to our family.

After finding out that our daughter no longer had a heartbeat at the 14-week appointment (and foolishly believing we were in the 'safe zone' of the 2nd trimester), I realized that I too am one of the 1.5 million women who experience a miscarriage each year in the US. It's a hell-on-earth club that no one wants to be a part of. To add to this horrific news, I was also unable to access a necessary D&C for 6 days. (A D&C is the medical procedure needed for a 'missed miscarriage' and is coded as a spontaneous abortion. My experience is a direct result of enacting policies that restrict access to reproductive health care...the care needs don't stop, but the timely access to care becomes less available.) I was sent home from the clinic with a pamphlet and told to wait it out.

Two days later, the bleeding began. I went to the nearest ER to seek care, and was turned away because 'there's not much they could do at this point' to help support because I wasn't actively hemorrhaging. They handed me a plastic bucket, plastic gloves, gave me a good ole pat on the knee, and wished me the best. (I have come to learn there is no medical standard-of-care for miscarriages...something that happens 1.5M times a year...but I digress. I'll work on fixing that next.) After returning home, I ended up delivering my daughter at 5:05pm in my bathroom, just in time for the after-hours answering service at my OB to be turned on. A few minutes later, I ended up hemorrhaging, lost 1/3 of my total blood volume, and lost consciousness. My husband called an ambulance, I went to Maple Grove Hospital, and I then I was able to get an emergency D&C. I was discharged the following day and given a print out with instructions to take an iron supplement. (Now that I think of it, my dog received more follow-up care for his allergies at the vet than I did in throughout my experience, but that's a tale for another time...)

I share these details, because as terrible as my health care experience was, the most painful moment was walking out of the hospital empty handed, through the same hospital doors that all the other parents were exiting with their car seats and bundles of joy. I don't know how to describe this feeling, besides it was the absolute fucking worst.

Over the summer, I worked through some of the grief by keeping my hands busy and crocheting. I can't prevent miscarriages, remodel the hospital doors, or redesign the US health care system overnight, but I could at least try to create cozy blankets so fewer women had to experience walking out of the hospital empty handed. For round 1, I completed 11 blankets and worked with Maple Grove hospital to distribute to them to women at their time of need. My contact there recently texted me, shared how comforting they were to her patients, and asked if this could continue.

This is where I would love your help!

1) Please donate if you are able - this fundraiser should be able to source approximately 25 blankets at current retail prices.

2) Anyone know of any contacts at Lion's Brand Yarn (their 'Cover Story' product is perfect for this cause) to help get us connected to their community/philanthropic leadership team?

3) Anyone know of local crochet groups and/or people who would want to help contribute their talents? If this continues to be received well, the businesswoman in me wants to find a path forward to scale this...sorry, I just can't help myself.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and thank you for supporting this meaningful work. It means the world to me. Big hugs... Ashley