Mark Penter's Final Expenses

I am asking for immediate assistance raising funds to manage final expenses for Mark Benton Penter (aka RIFF since young adulthood, a moniker he earned in the service).  Mark was a veteran who gave six years of his life in service to our nation in the Army - while conducting business with him at the VA in Oakland, I learned he was in a Tanker Battalion.  He gave respect and deference to ALL people and especially veterans regardless of their service affiliations.  He was an intelligent man, a college graduate, and enjoyed a fraternal membership with his local Masonic lodge (Kenton, Oregon chapter, I believe).  During his life worked as certified welder, mechanical repairman, bouncer, and more...living in many places from the West Coast, where he was born (San Francisco) to the East Coast, and gathering friends all along the way.  Easy for him, he was the genuine article and what you saw was not necessarily what you got…Mark was much deeper intellectually than his appearance would suggest, but he was never one that lorded his intelligence over others, he was quite kind and tactful.  Most recently he had gotten his commercial driver licensing, with a new job and dreams of soon owning or leasing his own rig (at which time he would pick up his kitty-cat for the ride, Lucy (who I had been fostering since March 2015)…or Lucy would stay with me, and when my husband and I found a home, we would become Mark’s “home base”.  That all changed in the blink of an eye, although he always had hoped to beat the rare and aggressive, metastatic lymphoma cancer.  Mark hoped to be able to return to the plan, right up until the end, and frankly, so did I.  Sadly, time ran out for him before he could fulfill that dream.

My name is Kelly Nitzel, and I was not only his long-time friend (more like the annoying sister he never wanted, sometimes, ha ha), but also Mark’s caregiver during the end of his life.   The hospice agency’s social worker mentioned we were the first non-family in their history to provide home care to a hospice patient, that sometimes it is like pulling teeth to just get biological family to care for their own, so it was unusual for them.  I don’t quite understand that…when Mark asked, I discussed it with my husband (in another state, for the time being), the owner of the home in which I live, and my best friend who agreed to support and help…I received no opposition, they understood - Mark was our friend and needed help.  If Mark had ever been in a position to offer the same, he would have done so in a heartbeat.  So we took him in – because it was  THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  Sometimes I think people have forgotten that concept, but I still have faith in humanity and its ability to do good deeds.  Help me do something good for Mark…this is the last time he will ever need your help, so please be as generous as you can.

I am only asking for the task of ensuring Mark’s wishes for his remains are honored, nothing fancy, just the basics.  I have scoured various places and have been unable to find other sources for funding, or have not had any response from the few that were possibilities.  So absolutely anything you can do to assist in reaching that goal will be met with great love and appreciation…it’s a lot of money to come up with on a moment’s notice, and it has been a month already of researching and dead-ends, so time is really of the essence, don’t wait!!  I don’t know how much longer the mortuary will keep him - they called again today to ask about how and when payment would be arranged. 

If you prefer to send directly so more of your money goes toward Mark’s fund (fundraising sites take their portion first), you may mail it to:

Kelly Nitzel, 933 East Grant Place, San Mateo CA 94402

Mark would not have been impressed with anything out of the ordinary, so I found the most cost-effective option.  Your donations will pay for the care of Mark’s remains as well as certificate fees and permitting associated with it.  Should there be anything left, if the goal is exceeded, those funds will be set aside for a future memorial event.

Mark left nothing of value except for his 13-year-old cat, Lucy Furr (who had been with us since last March 2015, and will remain for the remainder of her days).  He had no will or trust, and no savings to speak of, just sixty-one untouchable cents in his account.  Even if he did have any money, we barely managed to get him to sign an Advanced Care Directive Power of Attorney, let alone have any other legal or financial matters completed…so as I understand things, I have no legal recourse to take control of his “assets”  to pay for this, even if there had been anything of monetary value left.  Mark was of the firm mindset that he would get better and survive this ordeal, and his intention in coming to stay with me was to have a warmer climate, perhaps better medical care, and family meals.  Unfortunately, he did not survive and we only had a very, very short time with him…not even enough for everyone to say good-bye, it happened so quickly…one night we were all having dinner at the table, and the next day he was incoherent, mostly unable to respond…and the morning of the third day, he stopped breathing, I felt his last heartbeats, and he died.  So soon, too soon…it was only last September Mark went to the VA Hospital to have some stomach pain checked out, and came out with a cancer diagnosis… three months (without treatment) to a year (with treatment) to live.  He began treatment  in Portland, staying with friends there, then decided to return to the Bay Area for treatment, which is when he came to stay with us.  He died at our home on December 24…Christmas Eve. 

We all thought there would be more time.  Cancer is a ruthless disease and cares nothing for timing or circumstances. People can be surprisingly human and in that spirit, please let’s surprise Mark with humanity and set him to rest.   Thank you, in advance, for your consideration and generosity!