"Love for Liz"

I am Elizabeth June (Lombard) Benedum.  You may know me as the owner of Barista's Coffee House or through one of my friends or family.  I have a story that may be a shock if you see me almost every day, unless you have heard the rumors that have leaked out about my health.  I have been dealing with cancer for some time now.  I have been handling this mostly on my own.  I’ve been through radiation, chemo, good scans, bad scans, 6 treatments of more intense chemo, surgery and traveling long distances in bad weather.  All while dealing with personal life challenges, running a business and working many long hours with rare time off (mostly for treatments and surgery).

 I do not look like a typical cancer patient.  I should be bald but I invested in a "cold cap" which kept my scalp held very tightly at freezing temperature for the 6 hours of treatment to help protect hair follicles.  I was so desperate to hide my illness-  I wanted to keep my dignity and self- confidence.   I didn't want to make others worry and not know what to say to me.  I didn't want to be the subject of grim conversation that I overhear almost daily.  A lot of hair did fall out so I wore hats and headbands to cover a huge bald spot.  Halfway through strong treatment I had a scan that showed some improvement.  At the end of treatment a scan showed bad news- it detected a metastasized brain tumor. 

 I had brain surgery and gamma knife radiation.  The 6 inch incision and 18 staples were mostly disguised by hair which allowed me to keep hiding. I am not going to hide anymore and I need your help.  Since the chemo didn't work I need to try other options which are not covered by insurance.  I have paid for as many medical expenses as I can afford.  This has left me financially drained and forces me to work harder.  I am on a hamster wheel of working to pay for trying to get healthy and working too much which makes me unhealthy.  I am exhausted but I am happy that there are still treatment options. 

 I need financial help or I won't be able to say that I did everything I could.  I love my life and I love the people in it and I know that they  want me to be given every opportunity to get healthy.  It is hard for me to ask for help (very hard).  I have been so determined to do this independently and not be a burden to anyone, but I’ve been encouraged by those who care about me that it is ok to ask people for help.  So I am asking now- If you are able to help me out it would make me feel very loved and hopeful in staying ahead of this. This has been a roller coaster ride and terribly traumatic at times.  I do my best to keep a positive outlook and so far I think I am doing an awesome job. I have kept my humor throughout all of it.  I have become a very strong woman from this - stronger that I ever thought I could be, especially now by coming out of hiding and asking for help.  There have been multiple times that I wanted to tell people what has been going on but the words just wouldn't come out. 

Please do not feel bad if you wish you could have helped sooner, that's my fault- I am a private person and have trouble talking about my illness openly.  So as you talk about this, please do not speculate or assume things about my condition.  If you see me (or my family, friends or employees), I KINDLY REQUEST that you do not ask questions about my cancer. Discussing the type, stage, prognosis and aggressiveness takes too much energy and is not helpful in reaching my goal of being as healthy as possible.  I can be having a carefree day and if someone asks something as simple as when my next appointment is it brings it all flooding back again.  Cancer already gets enough time and attention.  I refuse to give it any more than I have to.  Instead of talking about how unfair this disease can be, talk about how healing is possible and that miracles happen every day.  Staying in good spirits is crucial.   So when you see me share a laugh and talk about the many good things in life, like what a beautiful day it is - even when it's raining.  Also I love to talk about kittens - I'm a sucker for kittens!

 Thank you from the bottom of my heart.