Building a brighter future

Hey world,

Please read my story & share. If you’re unable to help, maybe someone else is.

This isn’t something I’d normally feel comfortable doing, but at this point, I need help. I’m going to explain the last 6-7 years down below and hope you stick with me until the end because asking for help is not in my character, and I truly need it.

I met the father of my last born, who is now 5 years old. She is the best thing, if not the ONLY good thing, to have come out of that relationship. Over time, he started treating me differently (mood swings, controlling behavior). Inevitably, this led to mental, emotional & physical abuse. Now fast forward, my daughter is almost a year old, and we decide to buy a home together. “A fresh start, right? Wrong!”

He had cameras installed and regularly checked in and watched them to see what I was doing. He once threw my food on the ground and told me to “eat it off the floor like the bi*** I am.” He’s chased me around the house, taken my phone (luckily, I had a second work phone he didn’t take), and when I did call the cops, he behaved so calm, cool, and collected. One officer actually looked at me and said, “I’m married too, I know what it’s like.” I am SOBBING for help and wasn’t given the help needed. I stayed in the same house with the “man” who just taunted me for hours.

The next day, I packed a large suitcase for my 3 kids and me. We stayed at a DV shelter for 3 days until my mother took us in. A month later, I had found us our own apartment. Starting from the ground up, we had NOTHING. He kept a majority of our belongings and wouldn’t let me get them. We were there for almost a year. Unfortunately, he made his way back into my life and was showing me the side of him I once fell in love with. We have a child together; let’s try it again.

**If you’re still with me, thank you **

At that time, we moved back into “our” house. I had to quit my job as he didn’t want me to work with males. I started working from home. He didn’t like the hours, 2nd shift hours in my office. He stated, “I should be in bed when he goes to bed.” I also have 3 kids to put to bed, so I quit that job as well for him. In the meantime, I am buying things to make the house a home, right? I love making it feel cozy. I found different methods for paying for things (Affirm, high-interest loans), which has now accumulated itself to a bottomless pile of debt. At the time, I was convinced this would be our debt to tackle together once we lay down the foundation.

There was one evening after yet another terrifying and aggressive incident. Leaving my kids and me barefoot with barely any clothes on since it was late at night. Kids crying, no shoes & left us out in the driveway to suffer. We had friends there to help gather some belongings. In the end, we stayed at the cheapest motel for the night, 1 room, two beds. He put us out.

I decided it was time to buy a house so my kids could finally have the stability that was absolutely vital for them. I needed to break that trauma bond I had with him to finally set us free. We moved in with my dad for 6 months while we found the right house to call home. With the help of my family and friends, we have our safe place. They can be their fun, free, and wild selves without getting yelled at all the time.

A couple of months of living in our new home, we were doing a meet and exchange of our daughter. There was an altercation where he got aggressive, and he proceeded to try to hit us with his car. Mind you, our daughter was IN THE CAR. Luckily, there was surveillance where the incident happened

**Couple small paragraphs left, I swear!**

I filed a restraining order the next day, which was approved. As a victim, I couldn’t face him alone in the courtroom. I got an attorney. At this point, I’m up to 5K in credit card charges off the bat for the attorney. He proceeded to go to family and probate the next day to file an “emergency custody order” & called DCF on ME! Make the math, math. Now we’re in the midst of custody, child support & parenting arrangements with 3rd parties involved to exchange our child. I’m already 12k (7k on credit cards) into those attorney fees with the potential of it rising to 20k at the end of this.

You’ll never guess what happens next. Four months into our new home, I was laid off from my full-time position. Due to court hearings, mental health days & children getting sick, I was out of work for 6 months trying to find a job that would be accommodating to my life as a mom of three. I found a part-time position in the medical field that is understanding & accommodating if anything unexpected comes up. I am on the UP; we just need helping hands to get us there.

If you guys have stuck with me through this whole thing, I appreciate your time. I know how valuable it is. Have a wonderful day ❤️