Kyle's Addiction Recovery Fund

I am terrified to share this story with you, but regardless, it must be shared and I must have courage. My name is Kyle and for as long as I can remember sex has been a huge part of my life, and at times the only part. What can I say? My innocence was snatched before I even knew all of my colors (unbeknown to my parents, who are amazing).

I've kept it a secret most of my life, with only a few exceptions. With the foundation laid in my childhood, sex mutated from a hated thing to a craved thing, and I indulged. I remember when a cable box was installed in my room while attending middle school, with a password of course, but after a week of very little sleep trying every combination my little mind could muster I discovered it.... 1212. My gateway to bliss was won! And, boy oh boy, did I indulge.

After years of irregular sleep, failed tests, cheating, bursts of outrage, shame beyond control, thoughts of suicide, depression, aggression, isolation, failed confidence, being overly defensive, emptiness, nausea, pure hatred for myself, blame on others, disgust, and just plain good ol' fashioned Hell, I began to disconnect, detach really. All those emotions started to numb up, and the variety and ferocity of the addiction started to ramp up. While numb in addiction it is almost better to feel terrible than to not feel at all, I know some of you can relate.

This secret cycle of Hell has run its course in my life as a 3-year-old child to a 27-year-old husband and father of 3. It's time it ended! It's time to hit refresh! It's time to seek help at a level relative to the depth of my addiction and win my life back!

Since sexual addiction is not yet considered a primary ailment my insurance won't pay a dime toward the treatment. I need $34,500 to pay for a 90-day in-resident recovery program at Desert Solace in St. George, UT www.desertsolace.com. I've never asked for financial support in my life, mainly due to pride, but I'm ready to ask.... I need your help. Will you help me? In return I will continue to be as courageous as possible and document my experience, to help others with my story, and pay it forward for the rest of my life.

I know many of you are in the thralls of addiction, even if it is not realized yet, and many of you can relate to my story. I'm not much of anybody, but I'm somebody to my kids, and that makes this battle worth it. I believe in hope, and there is hope for all of us. We can receive the right care, even if the plague of pornography and sex addiction is set aside as "just a bad habit." It's an obvious problem, families are being torn apart as a consequence of rampant participation in pornography. Heaven knows mine is feeling the tear.

My hope is that my website www.recoverkyle.com can be used as a place of shared recovery stories and funding for real recovery treatment. Thank you forever for your financial support and prayers.

-Kyle

www.recoverkyle.com