Remembering Scott: A Legacy of Courage, Kindness and Love.

Meet Scott Edward Snyder Jr.

He always wanted to be known as Scott, but to me he'll always be Scotty, my little brother. Scotty was tough to get to know. If you look at just his appearance, you might think hes mean or even dangerous. That wasnt who he was even in the slightest. When he was 5, he was in a major car accident that left him with a traumatic brain injury so it was tough for him to articulate exactly what he wanted to say or how he felt. It also left him with scars on his face that made people treat him differently. His dad died in that accident and it was something that he struggled to handle his entire life. The accident had happened 4 years before I met them.

When I met Scotty, I was actually coming over to meet his sister. When I got to her house, though, I was greeted by this little guy that opened the door. He was so nice and welcoming that it honestly surprised me. Im this person hes never met, but he treated me like we were best friends right from the start. As I stepped into the house, he said "Hey, do you want me to make you some ramen noodles?! We've got the good kind!" I still remember it so vividly because it was so genuine and not the usual way that someone greets you. He was so honest and open when he was little that I remember once when he made a comment about the hair on my legs. He said "your legs are so hairy, theyre almost black!" We laughed so hard when he said it because hes right. Its just not something I ever expected to hear. While I was getting to know his sister, he was always floating around in the periphery, always ready to jump in on the fun. Their mom was having a hard time dealing with the death of their dad so Kristin ended up doing a lot of the caring for her little brother. She would do the laundry and cook food for everyone. She helped him with his homework and would get him ready for school. At times, it felt like Scotty was more than a little brother and more like her own kid. She would watch over him every day. I can remember a time when he was walking around on the unfinished floor of a garage their stepdad was building and he fell through the joists and hit his nose. She picked him up, he probably weighed about 90lbs at the time, she weighing 110, and carried him 100+ feet back to the house to check if he was alright. She cared for him so much. Its one of the things that made me love her.

Scotty always had such low inhibitions when he came to being nice to people. I consider myself a nice and helpful person, but its nothing in comparison to Scotty. I can remember a time shortly after meeting him when their mom and stepdad took us out to eat at a place called Ryans. Its a buffet style restaurant. While waiting in line, he walks over to a lady we've never met thats also waiting in line, and gives her a hug. It was so sweet and spontaneous that it made Kristin and I look at each other like "Uh, whats he doing?" I dont know if he could sense that she just really needed a hug or what but she seemed to really appreciate it and said it was okay. This is who he was, always looking to cheer up someone that needed it. Always trying to make you laugh. He had no shame when it came to trying to make you laugh. When I first went over there to meet his sister, I had no idea that I was also gaining an amazing little brother.

So, I feel there needs to be a little bit about the timeline that led us to where we are today and about the struggles that he endured. When I met Scotty, he was 8. Shortly before I met their family, their mom had started to develop a pretty bad drinking problem. This is a large part of the reason that Kristin was so involved in taking care of the house and her little brother. While there were problems, I always felt so welcome that it made me feel like always being around. Their family was really so closely knit that it was honestly addictive to be around. Im sure the trauma of the car accident was no small part in them developing that bond. I loved being there and they loved having me around.

A few years after meeting them, their mom ended up losing the house because of an adjustable rate mortgage. Time went by and they were unable to afford living in NC so they moved back to Iowa. His sister and I, with our new relationship decided to stay here in NC. We stayed in contact with Scotty but didnt see him for a few years. Their mom got remarried and we saw him briefly when we went out for the wedding. He struggled to get along with her new husband because he felt like he was using her. Their mom eventually asked if he could come out and live with us, she couldnt handle them not getting along. So she bought him a ticket and sent him to live with us at my parents place. When he arrived, everyone was so happy to have him here. He enrolled into Jordan Highschool for 9th and 10th grade. It was tough for him at first, but we worked with him on his homework and he ended up getting decent grades. Some time just before he turned 18, he was talking with his mom on the phone and she convinced him to move back to Iowa. He told us he was going to stay the night at a friends house, but instead he was using a plane ticket that she had bought him to return to Iowa. A few years passed and we found out that their mom had been diagnosed with cancer. It was already stage 4 colon cancer. We were all devastated.

The next time we were able to see them it was for Christmas shortly after her diagnosis. At this point it was just Scotty and their mom living in a small apartment. He had turned 18 and he looked almost the same as he did before he died. He had a gruff appearance and seemed almost standoffish when we met again. It was almost as if he expected that we would still be mad that he had suddenly left to move back to his mom's. While we did feel betrayed at first, we understood why he would want to be home with his mom. That awkwardness quickly faded after he saw we were so happy to see him again. He turned back into the little kid that I remember from when we first met. While there we discovered that his mom had already started taking money out of the settlement that Scotty was to receive when he turned 18. His mom used a large portion of the money to go out gambling with his stepdad Eric. Some of the money went to Scotty that he was using to buy gifts for a girl that he liked. Although, when the money ran out, she left him. We stayed for about a week and then came back home to NC. We found out later that they were living in that small apartment because Eric, her new husband, had also left when the money ran out.

Shortly after, both Scotty and their mom unexpectedly showed up one day at my parents house. Not knowing what to do, Kristin used the money she had saved to get them an extended stay motel. Their mom was constantly drunk. Kristin wanted her to try and get treatment and to start caring for herself and Scotty. This caused an argument and when going to visit the next day, they were gone. They had left for California.

In California, they stayed with an old friend of his mom's. Kristin had told me stories about how this lady would lock her into a closet for hours at a time when she was little. She really despised this lady. Her name was Terry.

Their mom ends up passing away while theyre still living with Terry. Terry knew about the money that Scott was to receive when he turned 21. They end up convincing him to stay despite us trying to convince him to come and live with us. When he was 20, they convince him through fraud or threats to use JG wentworth to take out the rest of the money from his dads settlement. They steal his bank account info and start withdrawing the max amount possible in a short time. The people have guns and are running drugs and Scotty is terrified to leave. They said they would kill him and put him in the desert where nobody would ever find him. Once the money runs out, they eventually agree to send him to NC to live with us. We tried contacting the police and the banks about what had happened to him, but they werent helpful and we were just happy that he was safe. We just moved on.

He arrives in NC while we're living in a 1 bedroom apartment we had near NC State. Kristin is still in school and working in a restaurant as a server. Scotty struggles to find a job. Works at a pizza place doing any odd jobs they had. He tells me about cleaning the drains and how terrible the job was. Eventually he gets a job at waffle house, he was so proud that he got a job like his sister as a server. He barely makes money but tries his best. He was so thankful to have his job that he walks more than 3.5 miles to work during a huge blizzard and is one of the only people to come into work. They called it the Raleigh blizzard apocalypse. Kristin gets him a job at the restaurant she was working at, an upscale place called Sullivans Steakhouse. Everyone loves him there. He works as a dishwasher. With his new job, we were able to move into a bigger apartment. He gets his own room and bed, things were getting better. The job was overwhelming and Kristin would sometimes stay after work to help him finish all of the dishes. They would be there until past 1 am. After a while of working there, though, he starts getting picked on by people in the kitchen. Kristin tells him he shouldn't let people step all over him and that its okay if he wants to quit to look for another job.

He goes to Angus Barn several times looking to get a job doing anything. He's turned away until one day he sees a lady in the parking lot that needed help unloading her car. He instantly offers to help her. He was always offering help to anyone, it didnt matter if he knew them or not. He was still the kid that gave that lady a hug in the restaurant. This lady happened to be Van Eure, one of the owners of Angus Barn. She asks what hes doing there and he says hes been trying to get a job. She hires him that day. He works there for a while as a dishwasher and anything else they needed done. After working there for a while,he ends up talking to a guy that works for a delivery company. The guy says he knows someone thats looking for a delivery driver. He went into the place, a delivery company called Cargo-net and the owner gives him a job after hearing about him from the guy he met at Angus Barn. He was finally making a livable wage.

We moved into Stonehenge apartments, an amazing place with multiple pools and an indoor gym with a basketball court. Everything was going great. Then covid hits.

When covid hit, nobody knew exactly how dangerous it was. Scotty had met a girl while out at karaoke and made some other friends. Knowing that it was a bad idea to be going into places with large crowds, it became a point of contention between us. There were arguments about looking out for the safety of everyone. Scotty couldnt help being away from his girlfriend and his new friends. He was always the bravest person I knew and wasnt going to let something stand in the way of being with those he loved. We ended up deciding that it was best to go our seperate ways when the lease expired. We moved back into my parents house to help my aging parents and my sister who is a transplant patient. Scotty ends up moving in with his friends that he met at karaoke.

While he was living with us, we were always looking over his shoulder about any major decisions, taxes, and making sure he would get up on time for work. His alarm would beep for an hour and he would sleep straight through it. He was our little brother and we looked out for him. After moving out, with our relationship soured, he had to make his own decisions. Initially after he moves out, hes still working at Cargo-net making decent money. He ends up buying a new car with a payment thats pretty high. He gets into an accident with the car and hes unable to get in to work reliably and loses his job. The car gets repossesed. The friend he lived with, Dennis, ran a car body shop out of his house. He tried his best to help Scotty after he lost his job, but Dennis was struggling to pay his own bills. He still gave Scotty a place to stay and helped feed him. He was also teaching Scotty about the car painting and repair business. He lived there for a few years but had a falling out with Dennis. Scotty ended up moving out without a job and without a car.

He comes to live with us for a short time, but after an argument about something trivial, he decides that would rather try and make it on his own without help from anyone. He starts living on the street and hangs out around the Home Depot. He never begged for money and always tried to have a job. He gets a job at Applebees next to the Home Depot. His managers love him so much they allow him to hang around after closing to use the outlets on the building to charge his phone and listen to music. We eventually work things out and he comes over sometimes to hang out and play games. We tried to get him to move back in, but he feels like its good for him to learn to be able to take care of himself. He shows us around the area and shows where he likes to set up his camp. We buy anything we can to help him live out there. We get him a hiking backpack, a solar panel to charge his phone. He tells us he loves having his freedom and space to do what he wants. Hes so proud of how hes able to do things on his own. He gets a gym membership to have a place to shower, a bank account to save money, and a storage unit to keep his things safe. Hes growing as a person and we're so impressed with how well hes doing. I would have been terrified to live out there on the street, but he said he was happy. Hes eventually able to save enough to buy a van. The guy tells him that the van is $1000 dollars but he'll take 500 now and 500 later. Thinking that hes just selling it to a homeless person, he doesnt expect to receive the other 500. Scotty shows up and has the money, impressed with his honesty, the guy only takes 250 and lets him keep the rest. He feels like hes really making some progress.

While working at Applebees, he meets Jennifer. Applebees closes permanently and she gets him a job working at Red Lobster as a server. We tell him that we're working toward trying to find a place where we can live together. He tells us to look for a place with an extra room so his girlfriend and her little girl can live with us. Knowing how friendly and accepting of anyone that Scotty is, we were apprehensive about someone we didnt know moving in with us. Time passes and he comes over one day and while hanging out, he shows me a post on Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/bullcity/comments/1b45s1e/anyone_know_scott_at_carolina_ale_house_on/) that was pointed out to him about a guy holding a sign outside of his current job at Carolina Ale House. When he first showed it to me, I thought it was amusing but told him that he needed to be careful because someone that would do that isnt normal. He told me not to worry about it because he had already broken things off with Jennifer. He didnt want to ruin someones family and told her that she needed to figure things out with her husband before they could be together.

Several weeks go by and Scotty tells us hes got a new girlfriend. He wants us to meet her. We come out to meet him one night to see him at work, but while waiting for him to meet us, a girl comes over and we talk for a bit finally realizing that this is the "new" girlfriend that he was telling us about. We eventually realize that this is Jennifer, the girl that he broke it off with so that she could figure things out with her marriage. I figured that if they were back together, Scotty had decided that things had moved forward and that she and her husband had settled things.

I didnt know what to expect when we met her but she was very nice and seemed nervous to meet us. I was surprised how much I liked her. She talked about how Scotty was such a rare kind of person to meet. She talked about how sweet he was and we were happy for him. She talked about their plans and that they wanted to save money and find a place together. This was probably the first time that Scotty met someone that loved him for him. Someone that wasnt using him for his money, he had none. She just loved him. They were just looking forward to their future together. She helped him organize his mail, saying "This is important, save that, this is junk, throw it out." We were happy that he finally had someone other than us that was truly looking out for him. Things were finally looking up for Scotty. Thoughts had even gone through our mind of trying to find some land where we could build houses near each other to live close-by but still have our seperate spaces. Then, life got busy and time flew by.

During one break in the flood of things to do, we asked Scotty and Jennifer if they wanted to do something. We decided to go out to the park. We played frisbee. She had never played and we were all encouraging her about her throws. She was terrible but by the end of the day she was getting better at it. It was pretty hot that day and Kristin started feeling dizzy so we decided to call it a day. I was feeling somewhat panicked about how pale she looked so I quickly brought the car over and rushed her home. As I was leaving, Scotty and Jennifer were sitting on a rock next to the park hugging each other and waving goodbye. I didnt know it at the time, but this would be the last time I would see him. I was so worried about Kristin that the picture of the two of them sitting there on one of the rocks holding each other is burned into my mind. I'll never forget it.

A few days later, Kristin and I are at Sams club about to check out when I get a call from my sister saying the police are there saying they need to urgently talk to Kristin. Immediately, it goes through my mind that her husband had done something to them. I kept it to myself hoping that it would have been anything else but that. She tried to call Scotty but got no answer, and then tried Jennifer hoping that she would be able to tell us what happened to him but she also didnt answer. On the drive home, she starts searching the news for anything that she can find. She sees an article about a man being shot next to home depot by a red van. The same color van that he had bought. I wished and prayed as hard as I could the rest of the trip back to the house that it wasnt him, but when we arrived, the look on the face of the detectives let me know that it wasnt good.

Scotty and Jennifer had both been murdered by her estranged husband. It happened at two different locations near the Home Depot. He was pronounced dead at 1210 in the afternoon on May 11, 2024. He was the nicest person you could ever know. He would do anything for anyone. He was literally the person that would give you the shirt off his back. When Kristin was trying to figure out how to find leads in her new job, Scotty offered to give her money to use for advertising. He had nothing and was still willing to give it all away to help. He was my little brother. He was one of my best friends. He was the bravest person Ive ever known. He was so unlucky in life and I cant remember a single time that he complained about it. Nobody, especially Scotty, deserved to be killed in such a way because he loved the wrong person. When being arrained in court, the guy asked if he could say anything, he chose to say "I have no criminal record." It's as if he had been thinking to use that as an excuse for why he should be shown leniency; like it was some kind of token he could trade to get away with something so vicious, so evil. If he would have just asked Scotty to leave her alone, he probably would have agreed. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life. If youve read this far, thank you. Scott was such an amazing person and it was a priviledge to have gotten the chance to truly know who he was underneath the scars. I wish more people would have gotten to know him and I feel like its up to me to let people know what he was like.