Representing USA in Roller Derby

My name is Bethany, however many people know me by my roller derby name, Enigma. Here is a little bit of my story.

I grew up in a very small town in Kansas where I had to fight like hell to survive adolescence. I was different growing up. I was one of 4 children raised by a single mom. She made sure we had what we needed day to day. But that didn’t hide that we couldn’t afford the nicer things in life. This led to a lonesome childhood where I was surrounded by bullying, ridicule and rumors that I couldn’t escape from. My one refuge was the skating rink, a place I would go to every weekend for as long as I can remember, because when I was there I felt peace and acceptance for being me. Everything obstacle I was facing seemed to fade away when I laced up the “8 wheel piece” a.k.a. skates.

As an adult, I still struggled with self esteem issues, unable to find my voice. I sought a way to empower myself and gain a sense of achievement, something I felt was lacking since I never stood out as someone who was “good” at anything. I wanted an outlet that would provide me with some caliber of relief.  That was until I found Roller Derby in December of 2009. That was definitely a defining milestone in my life. It was a way for me to keep my escape, my refuge, but also tap into something inside of me- my competitive spirit. I immediately wanted to be the best, becoming obsessed with the sport and environment it was creating for me.

I’m well known by those around me as someone who is outspoken, assertive, driven, yet also motivational. This makes it difficult to foster bonds with those around me. That, in addition with the tattoos I have, as well as being gay, led to a predisposition to judge me solely based on the cover of my book, rather than its contents. And that judgement was always cold and standoffish laced with disgust. Roller derby welcomed me into their community where all those attributes that made someone on the sidelines in the outside word, a person you could get to know and respect. I was able to be the best, strongest, most “bad-ass” version of myself. I was empowered to be...me. I believe, wholeheartedly, that is the intent of the sport. It has been there for me to “skate it out” through some very dark and difficult times in the last 9 years. The sport has brought me back from that ledge multiple times.

I’ve been able to create bonds and lasting relationships from the sport, despite me joining simply as an outlet from my daily life. With it, I have found a higher sense of self than I thought possible, and have been able to develop characteristics within myself: passion, determination, leadership, grit, humbleness, perseverance, and drive just to name a few. I have pushed myself to my breaking point, yet still strive for greatness and the next level. I seek the next opportunity to grow not only physically but mentally as well. This way not only can I be better for myself, but also help others become the best they can be.

These last 9 years have put me in the best shape of my life, and I know I will continue to improve. I am a skater at heart, and that will never change. I am forever grateful for the ability to be able to be a part of this sport and what it has taught me. I also know my journey is not finished, there is still a long road ahead of me- a road under construction. As long as I keep my mind open, not letting fear hold me back, and push my limit every way that I can, I will continue my growth. Because the key to better skating, is skating better.

This is where I need your help. I recently tried out to represent the United States in the 2019 World Roller Games which will be held in Barcelona in July. I was fortunate enough to be selected for the first round draft. Nine years of preparation. Nine years of skating, sweating, and bleeding with some of the best and most amazing skaters of the world. I am so thankful, blessed, and humbled by the opportunity to wear that jersey with USA across the front on the world stage. I will stop at nothing to achieve this dream of mine. I want to prove not only to myself, but to everyone that struggles and fights everyday of their life just to make ends meet, to people who feel like sometimes life is too much so you take a shower just to be able to cry alone where no one can see. I strive everyday to be like the Wonder Woman I had growing up-my mom. Now that I follow a similar path of being a single parent, I see and face the same struggle, where everyday is a fight just to make it through. Telling yourself you are not alone and you’ve got this.

I want to be able to represent any and everyone: that laces up (rookie or veteran); that is searching for their peace, voice, acceptance; that aims for the stars and wants to achieve greatness; that gets up and puts the time in, day in and day out, to beat their competitors, themselves; that didn’t come from wealth, no handouts, no favors; those that just hustled everyday, wondering and thanking GOD that they made something work; that holds onto, with all their might, to the idea, that hope, that DREAMS DO COME TRUE.  

I will be forever grateful to any and all who are willing to assist me with the costs for travel, food, and other expenses associated with transportation to/from: practices and Barcelona in July. Any amount is appreciated.