Getting Ahead and Staying Strong

Kia Ora, Good Aye & Hello!

Obviously most of you know me and for those who don’t My name is Jackie.

Im trying to fundraise a little money to help me get ahead in my rent, & living costs as my situation has been a tad rough. It is also difficult when you don’t have immediate family. So it can be hard to not feel alone tackling so many variables.

This was extremely hard to do, asking for help especially when it comes to finances. I know not everyone is financially secure either.

I’m very fortunate to be able to work and earn an hourly wage but it just barely covers my rent which I had to re-sign the lease so thankfully I’ve got a year to build credit and not stress moving. I had a new place lined up close to work to cut costs but I wasn’t able to rely on ex husband to co sign the lease for me. Being a NZ citizen in the US with no credit history makes this challenging to secure a rental.

I had been in a marriage that was detrimental to my mental and emotional well-being. I’m trying to reclaim my independence so that I don’t have to rely on my ex and risk myself of being in a situation where I feel controlled and manipulated. I’m done with that!!

I have been separated from my ex less than a year and for a while I was feeling the stress financially as I was the only one working.

Now that he has a recent new job, and just been promoted to Director and a large income, his stresses are out the window.

During the last month we couldn’t afford daycare so Marli my sweet little 3 year old going on 4 has been staying with her Nana who lives 2.5 hours away, I don’t have my full license yet or a car.

I am dealing with not having seen my girl in person, and it’s been pretty painful. The only contact I have with her if I’m lucky is when her nana may send a picture of her, or when her dad goes to see her on his days off and I get a video call once a week. My relationship is strained with the ex mother in law. I’ve cut his family off from me for now.

It’ll be another month till I probably get to see Marli in person, it is hard not being able to hold your little one. Coming home to a empty home is…..

Though In the mean time I have gotten advice from friends here in the states, and I am going to work on what resources are available and what I am eligible for. I’m desperate to get my little girl back home, and not have to worry about being financially insecure.

I am tired and grieving but I’m still going and as one of my closest friends battling stage 4 cancer said to me one day Stay Strong (Kia Kaha) years ago, knowing my situation it’s stuck with me ever since. I’ll value that coming from someone who has just somehow kept defying an awful disease. So thank you, she knows she is my unsung hero, among others who have yet to know that they are also my unsung heroes.

So if you can help me out a little.. I would be forever grateful. Finding the courage to reach out and ask for help is so hard without feeling shame or guilt but I can’t do this alone.

I thought I was limited in my choices but thanks to amazing wonderful friends and acquaintance’s of mine here in the US and back in NZ they have opened my eyes and I do have options.

With a very heartfelt Thank you, and for taking the time to read my story. I’ll be forever grateful and deeply appreciative.

Ka nui te mihi me te aroha

p.s. If you need help find your courage and dig deep. You are not alone reach out.