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R.i.P. Jessica, my beloved daughter!

Hi, my name is Heike. I want to thank you for taking your time to read this.

October 2016 my daughter, Jessica, committed suicide. Years ago she was diagnosed bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. Although and she was getting help, at the end she lost the battle.

After I was notified about her death, I traveled to the US to bring my daughter and my grandson Jason home. In multiple conversations she said that if anything would ever happen to her, she wants to be buried by her German grandmothers side. Also she wrote in her last text message to her girlfriend that she wants her son to be living with his family in Germany, where he was born and lived for some years before they moved to the states.

After my arrival in the US, I found out the reason why my daughter was suffering for 19 years – her father did very bad things to her multiple times. She told her 2 best friends as well as some family members about what her father did to her, and they told me. Immediately after hearing about it I contacted the officer, who investigated my daughters death, to report it. Unfortunately they couldn't do anything, because, my daughter is dead. That was what the officer told me.

After the funeral service I wanted to travel back to Germany with my daughter and my grandson. He was traumatized, he was the one who found his mom in the morning when he was getting ready for school. Well, I couldn't take my grandson cause he didn't have a passport, and trying to take care of that problem I was told that the father of my daughter, the man who caused her to suffer all these years, requested guardianship for my grandson, even though he knew about my daughters last text message.

I was forced to stay in the states for over 2 month, till court day. I couldn't afford a lawyer and couldn't find one to work for me for free. He (the father of my daughter) had 2 lawyers working for him. I couldn't tell the court about the things that happened to my daughter because I had to protect my grandson. Everybody, even my grandsons lawyer said that I don't have to worry, since it was my daughters wish and because my grandson age (he was 14 at the time), the court will grant me guardianship. I don't know what stories he told his lawyers to tell the court, but they granted him guardianship. My grandson was so disappointed.

Jason told me before I left that he will be strong, and as soon as he is 18 he will move back to Charlotte (NC), that was where him and his mother lived for 10 years.

I brought my daughter back home and was finally able to put her to rest by her grandmothers side in February 2017.

I have never in my life had to depend on someone financially, not even all the years I was a single mother. I was always working and fighting my way through life, but now I reached the end of my rope. The funeral, the traveling, the stay, all together I had to max out my credit cards. Since 3 years I have been trying to find a way to get out of the debt, but I couldn't. Due to my medical conditions I can't work anymore and had to retire early.

I feel ashamed to ask for help, but I understood I can not win this fight without help. And even if one can not contribute with a donation, it would help to share my problem with others.

I want to thank everyone ahead for your support. May God bless you!

Organizer

Heike Bell
Organizer
Ludwigshafen

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