Rob and family get their lives, and house, back.

Hi, I’m Rob. I used to make and write about games but these days, I’m far too fatigued most of the time so I kinda just help out a few folks here and there where I can.

I’m looking for some help in, well, getting things back on track for me and the kids because the past few years have been none stop and me and the kids are kinda desperate to turn things round where we can. We can’t really do that without some help. Things are bloody grim.

The Quick Version

I’m disabled, fatigued (more so since a round of COVID) and have spent the past few years since losing my partner as a single parent to two disabled kids, spending nearly all my time and energy on keeping them going. During that time, things have been continually rough, exhausting and in recent months a whole bunch of things in the house have broken and I’ve had no money to replace them, no idea when that situation was going to change. Just as we were given the chance to fix that somewhat, we hit a crisis, our drains and plumbing went, the house got flooded, we tried to shore up help and got nowhere. There is none. So here we are again. Sorry

We’re barely keeping our heads above water, we’ve only been managing through the kindness of others as it is, for the health of me and the kids, we really need some help to get this sorted.

The Longer Version

When my partner and best friend in the world, Em, died a few years back after a long and disabling illness, things were already rough. I was exhausted, the kids were struggling and my own illness was giving me shorter respite times. Money was tight but at least we had some help and a roof over our heads. Through a lot of kindness and help, we managed Xmas 2022 and salvaged as much as we could from a grim situation.

Where I’d hoped we could all start putting back the pieces after that, the other one happened and things have been increasingly difficult and, frankly, non-stop. I worked out last week I’ve had less than one whole week of peace where I wasn’t having to deal with something over the past few years. I’m really very tired.

What Happened?

So much that it feels almost farcical when I write it down or even say it out loud. It’s been ridiculous. This isn’t even close to a complete list. Honestly, it’s been silly.

The eldest got seriously assaulted around Christmas last year. They’ve been struggling with their own disability, already had a breakdown after their mum’s death and this left them a total mess, as it would. Already suffering from severe anxiety, this wrecked them and left them struggling to leave the house out of fear. They’re doing better now but it’s slow progress and has been hard work for everyone. Their own partner has been really supportive but it obviously falls on me to do the bulk of stuff and I do, because the kid is great. Loveliest, kindest, person you could wish to meet.

The youngest was always going to be hit hardest by Em dying, most of mine and Em’s efforts before Em’s death were in keeping the youngest going. Like, for a good few years I was sleeping on the sofa just so Em could take over and look after the youngest at night and I could still do all the stuff I needed to do during the day to keep everyone else going.

Some bad ‘help’ set the work we’d done back years and I spent way too much of 2023 trying to keep the youngest going and out of hospital as the trauma from losing a parent and pressure from the helper led to them struggling to eat anything and a whole host of trauma related stuff surfacing. With the help of school and some play therapy we got them over the worst but it took a lot of time, money, a lot of care, a lot of love and a lot of work. At this point I still had a bit of leeway but that got burnt through keeping the kid going.

I’m glad to say we’re out of the worst of that and I don’t know where we’d have been had the school not gone so above and beyond to help me get the kid through but things still have a way to go.

I’ve lost all three of my cat chums. One decided to wander off and get stuck between a neighbours house and fence, their injuries being too severe to recover from. One was on borrowed time when they came to live here and did well to stick around as long as they did, the third stuck around as long as possible but she was very old and passed away a couple of months ago. I miss her dearly, she’s been my constant companion, sentinel and chief negotiator and watcher of Kolchak.

We’ve always taken in older and more broken rescue cats, it’s almost part of the deal to just give them the best life whilst they’re around, losing three in such a short space of time has been heartbreaking though. With the cash and house being how it is, I don’t even think I can contemplate a new chum coming in either.

Em and I inherited a house when Em’s mum died and it’s genuinely been our saving grace on multiple occasions but, bluntly, it’s always been falling apart. As much as having it has saved our behinds over the years, it’s always been the proverbial money pit. Since 2022, I’ve dealt with two floods, wonky electrics, discovering things that had been broken in previous work and covered up, so many things have broken and I can’t afford to replace any of them and I still haven’t really had a moment to clear out Em’s stuff either. I desperately want working things and a really big skip to try and start making this place a liveable home that’s mine and the kid’s home.

My own illness continues to leave my exhausted, in pain often and fatigued. A round of COVID earlier in the year hit me so hard and I’m only just, recently, starting to recover from that substantially. In the meantime, the price of everything has gone up at such a ridiculous rate that we’ve been struggling for so long now to make ends meet and to make sure everyone eats.

Fresh hell, April 2025! At the start of March we started having trouble with the bathroom. This house has been a bit of a disaster area for as long as I’ve lived in it (and I gather, before that) so I’m used to fairly minor crap going awry, sometimes more major crap going awry so it was upsetting and a panic when it went again, but I had no idea then of the month (and more of hell) this was going to unleash.

I now have a stinking house, still blocked toilet, unusable shower and so much has leaked out of the bathroom and through the ceiling, me and the eldest have been on constant maintenance duty into the early hours since. We can’t fix this ourselves, it’s way beyond us and it occurring at the same time as I’ve been having a health flare up, sometimes knocking me out for a wild amount of time, was just a bonus. Having no money to fix anything, a complete nightmare. We’ve tried every other avenue available to us for local help and hit a consistent series of nopes, nope there’s no funding, there’s no help.

That’s just the headlines. Like I say, it’s been obscene and I’d struggle to feel more cursed considering everything.

With your help…

I’m so grateful for the help that’s gotten us this far, it’s been overwhelming and amazing. A short while back I had no washing machine and was doing all that by hand which is no good with my disability, when the fridge broke I could only afford a small replacement and that couldn’t really fit much in at all, a pizza was just a little bit too big for it! The dishwasher, dryer and my good TV broke beyond repair and the kitchen needed an electrician to come in and fix some stuff too. We managed to get pretty much back to having all the things people tend to take for granted as essentials thanks to the help. Absolutely amazing stuff and me and the kids are so grateful.

The drains and plumbing going took an enormous toll on things and it’s been weeks now of us throwing what little we did have at it, me trying desperately to find some local help somewhere and getting nowhere slowly, it’s not safe for my carer to come round right now so that’s not good and the house, frankly, smells. Myself and the youngest are holed up in the front room downstairs, kipping on separate sofas, because it’s safer than upstairs. The bathroom is out of action still, the landing carpet is ruined, the hall is a complete calamity after everything came flooding through the ceiling.

I’ve been constantly having to decide between paying a bill and eating for so long, money is that tight now. I couldn’t see a way any of that broken stuff would get replaced but with help we managed it, I’m hoping there’s some way to get the house back and safe now, when I haven’t got enough money to get by.

The goal is a bit funky. Because I appended everything onto the old fundraiser in a panic, it looks like we’re asking for way more than we are. We’ve already had help with getting appliances and stuff sorted so everything now is just the cost of fixing this house back up to a baseline after trying to raise help elsewhere just ended up wasting time, things getting even worse and me and the eldest getting more unwell.

The cost of the drain repair, blockage, leak and cleanup comes to around five thousand quid. An enormous, impossible amount of money to lay my hands on by any normal measure. I’ve burned my entire month’s money just getting through a week and a half, such is the way things go when there’s no reserves, no official help, no leeway day to day.

The total I’m asking for is a grand and a bit over that. In case anything goes over budget, ballses up or whatever. So we can actually start scraping out of this hellscape. So, accounting for previous help, that’s a scary looking sixteen grand on the totaliser, but less than half that really.

It’ll still leave us with a grim house and a lot of long term work to be done but the immediate crisis will be dampened and we’ll at least have a safer, if depressing, house to live in.

In the event we somehow exceed the goal, I’ll be able to replace more stuff, maybe pay down some of the bills I’m accumulating and who knows, maybe have something left over to buy something that isn’t entirely practical or urgent. I dream of replacing the oven one day, you know? Or, and this is really indulgent, just a little treat to make things feel less guff. We can’t really afford not to spend on making things better on a baseline level but I can dream that one day it might be a thing I can do again,

Regardless, any help we get will make a substantial difference to our existence and ease the grind by degrees. I’m worn out and everything that eases that is wonderful.

Things have been so bad for so long, I wouldn’t be here without folk pulling me through. I appreciate everything and everyone that’s helped and I always will. It’s upsetting to me that I’m in this mess. I know, realistically, I’m doing what I can with a run of bad luck and misfortune but that doesn’t mean it isn’t heartbreaking on the regular.

Thanks, and I hope I haven’t depressed you with all this, and sorry to be here once more.