Roberta Sears (aka Bobbi or Toby Sears)

Anyone who knows my mother knows she hated having her picture taken. I have pictures of her, but none that she would ever approve of being put on the internet. She would disown me from the afterlife.

I have written, rewritten, and written again and again as I never imagined this time of my life would be here so soon. My mother, 68 years young, was taken to the ER on November 21, 2022. Within hours she was admitted directly into ICU, where she spent the next ten days. During this, I was told she was in complete kidney failure. Mom was diagnosed with diabetes, among other ailments. However, this was unexpected as she had just had lab work and met with her doctor the week before. Her lab work was "normal" for her and showed no indications of any impending kidney failure. It was literally like a light switch.

Once in the ICU that night, she was sedated and put on a ventilator as her lungs were filling up with carbon dioxide due to her inability to take enough oxygen in to flush out the CO2. The team of doctors and nurses did everything possible to turn things around and get my mother back to where she once was. After several rounds of dialysis, multiple medications to control her heart from AFIB, and trying to control everything else going wrong due to kidney failure, it was determined that nothing more could be done for her. On November 28, I had the heartbreaking decision to remove her from all life-saving measures the next day. I contacted family members and friends to let them know the next steps. I was thankful mom and I had several conversations regarding her wishes not to be kept on life support. Those conversations made the decision slightly "easier" but still tremendously difficult to know I was losing my mother, my best friend.

On November 29, mom was removed from all life-saving measures; ventilator, feeding tube, and medications. The doctors thought she would pass shortly after removing the ventilator or at least 3-4 hours later. It is December 8, and mom is still in hospice and unresponsive. She is not on life-saving measures other than medications to keep her comfortable and pain-free until she is ready to pass on her terms. This might be even harder to see her in hospice every day being unresponsive. She has not had any food or liquids in another 10 days. I was hoping she would pass quickly for her sake, but as in true fashion, my mom is doing things her way. Stubborn until the end.

I have been blessed with so many family and friends supporting me, checking in on me to ensure I am eating, sleeping, taking time for myself, and so on. Sadly, I have been almost on auto-pilot since November 21, and just yesterday, this magnitude finally hit like a brick wall. I've started to allow myself to "feel" if that makes any sense. I had come to peace with her leaving us a couple of weeks ago but did not allow myself to have feelings attached to it.

So here we are to talk a little about my mom.

My mother touched many lives during her short 68 years with us. Whether through her everyday interactions or the work she loved at Cintas. She was there for over 20 years in Columbus, OH and Tampa, FL. We have lived in the Tampa area for 17 years, and she was the happiest at the beach and by the water.

She grew up in Lancaster, Ohio, went to Christ the King and was a Bishop Hartley Hawkeye. Mom always lived a life she wanted to be proud of and set examples for me to follow. In recent years, she would donate to animal rescues and food pantries. Her love of animals, especially her 9-year-old Chihuahua, Cookie, was a force to be reckoned with. She always taught me to give when I can to the less fortunate and always to be thankful for the many blessings I have in my life.

Mom was always good at advising others but never good at taking her own advice. I have said many times that she is a very stubborn Italian woman. She does things how and when SHE wants to do them. She would always joke about "concrete boots". If you know her or are Italian, you know what she meant. My mother had a remarkable, sometimes very dry, sense of humor, and I am thankful for that. We could talk about when she would pass and her wishes, even in humor. It was a bit morbid, but laughter mixed in. Someone recently told me that was probably one of the best gifts she could give me so I would never have to wonder or question six months down the road if I did the right thing by her.

I am thankful my mother had health insurance along with her Medicare, as she was able to receive quality care. The nurses and doctors at St. Joseph's Hospital North were terrific. Especially Dr. George Muthalakuzhy. He is an excellent physician and caring. My deepest heartfelt gratitude goes out to him for everything he did for my mother, along with the support he provided to me. I cannot thank him enough.

While my mother did have health insurance, she canceled her life insurance in June 2022 for only reasons she understood. It pains me even to consider doing a memorial fund as I would like her to have the memorial she wanted. However, it cannot be done without support from family and friends.

Her final wishes were to be cremated and her remains incorporated into an artificial reef. The reef would then be placed in the water with the sea life around her. I cannot think of a better way to memorialize her. My mom would have wanted us to enjoy life and have fun, not dwelling on her passing. Her spirit will always be with us no matter where we are.

If you would like to donate funds for her final wishes, please feel free to do so. Any amount is appreciated beyond words.

For more information regarding the artificial reefs, here is a link:

Eternal Reefs

The funds raised will cover her cremation, artificial reef, boat reservations for lowering the reef, and any associated GoFundMe fees.

The date for the event will be June 23 - June 27, 2023, as June 25 is her birthday, and the location will be in Sarasota, FL. I will update everyone as the dates get closer if you would like to help with creating her reef. Friends and family are encouraged to participate in the reef making and tokens or memorabilia are incorporated into her reef. The event is a four-day weekend, with the last day ending with the lowering of her reef.

Although the dedication is not until June, I would like to secure her place by March 2023.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me, offered support, shared stories, and given me the outlet to cry and laugh. I cannot express how much you have meant to me.

Thank you again, and be sure you tell the ones you love how you feel, as you never know what tomorrow brings.

"When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question "Death, where is thy sting?" with "it is here in my heart and mind and memories." - Maya Angelou