Rowan's Purpose

On July 26th, our daughter Felicia had to do the unbearable; she delivered our beautiful Rowan Mae, stillborn at 35.4 weeks. She had an easy pregnancy and the sonogram 4 days earlier was perfect. What we didn't know, and could not be seen in the sonogram, was that the umbilical cord had gotten tangled up between her legs, ultimately leading to her death.

We felt alone as a family in this situation, but quickly learned how many families this tragedy impacts. There are 24,000 stillbirths a year in the US, and over 4 million worldwide. While this type of tragedy cannot not be completely eradicated, there is work to be done to help families in similar situations.

In Labor and Delivery wards, most families who go through these tragedies, don’t have a safe space away from successful deliveries. One of our goals is to create Butterfly Suites in hospitals, which gives grieving families a safe space in hospitals to grieve, deliver, and spend time with their babies. We want to also create educational resources for mothers throughout their entire pregnancy that expands on awareness of topics which are not focused on in doctors offices, and in mainstream pregnancy materials. Our hope is that this awareness could potentially save a baby's life.

We are looking to raise funds to help bring this unbearable and truly heartbreaking experience to the forefront and comfort those families who share a similar loss with our family as best we can. By partnering with several organizations, we hope to impact as many families as we can. Knowledge is golden and our love is endless.



I encourage you to read more about Rowan's name and the meaning behind it. Rowan Tree Meaning 
Here is a good resource to learn more about stillbirth and infant loss. CDC Statistics
A letter to Rowan from her Nona, Jena: 

Rowan,

Oh how excited we were to know you were coming into our life, we looked forward to having your light in our world.

I enjoyed planning for your arrival and talking about my excitement with all my family and friends, I couldn’t wait to be your Nona.

I loved it when you kicked your mommy, and that time you had the hiccups, mostly because it annoyed your mommy a bit. We called you Ninja Baby, because you loved to kick your mommy. Your mom took the best care of herself so that you could grow and be perfect.

So many plans were made,  your family and our friends bought you gifts and books for you in anticipation of your arrival.

We would of never believed this wonderful time would become the saddest time in our life, we would never of believed that your arrival would be shrouded with such heartache.

I never dreamt that the first time I saw you would bring such grief and sorrow, that the first time I gave you a bath would be the last. That dressing you would be the only time I would get to play dress up with you. You looked perfect, you were perfect and forever will be perfect in my eyes. I want you to know how brave your Mom and Dad were, and how much love showed on their face when they held you. You should also know the sorrow they felt when they had to let you go.

So many plans, but here is the truth. none of those clothes that were bought will be worn by you, or the toys played with by you and the books will never be read to you, we are thankful to have had the hope you brought us if only for a short amount of time.  

My wish is that your siblings get to wear or see the clothes, play with the toys and have the books read to them. That they will know the joy you brought to us, and how much we love you.

Don’t worry about your Mom and Dad, all of us who love them and you will make sure they get to feel happiness again, and that they can at some point remember you without the grief of missing you so badly.

You will forever be our BeBe…



Statistics:

Nearly 2 million babies, or one every 16 seconds, were stillborn in 2019

In the 1940s, improvements in maternity care resulted in a dramatic reduction in the occurrence of stillbirth; however, more recently, the decline has slowed or halted.  Meaning the rate is steadily increasing as knowledge is not readily available.

Around 2 million stillbirths – babies born with no sign of life at 28 weeks of pregnancy or later – occurred worldwide in 2019. Many of these might have been prevented with proper care. According to the latest data, the global stillbirth rate last year was 13.9 stillbirths per 1,000 total births. This equates to 1 in 72 total births resulting in a stillborn baby, or one every 16 seconds. Still, this number may be an underestimate, as stillbirths are often underreported.


Stillbirth: A stillbirth is a baby born with no signs of life after 20 weeks of completed gestation.


Stillbirth affects about 1 in 160 births, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.


 That is about the same number of babies that die during the first year of life and it is more than 10 times higher deaths, as the number that occur from SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome