Rowen's wish (End of life care).

Rowena (Rowen) was born on March 3rd 1969 and at the very young age of 3 weeks she was adopted with her twin sister by Johannes and Jean Surkamp. She also has an older sister who was also adopted.

Rowen grew up in a Camphill community (Ochil Tower School Auchterarder) with her two sisters and supported children with additional needs. The school which was founded by her parents.

This is where Rowen's story begins...

Rowen has always been a person that has helped others. As a child growing up she was asked to support children in need of support by helping with life skills, personal living, cooking etc. She did this work before going to school and after doing her homework. As a teenager she was still very much involved with supporting the children until leaving school.

Rowen decided to become a nurse and so began the next part of her journey in care. She did her training in Perth Royal Infirmary in the eighties and after spending some time as a nurse was asked to return to Ochil Tower School to run a house with 8 children, supported by volunteers. Rowen was also a volunteer. There was no income for her, only a little pocket money, but she did the work for the children.

The 90s came and Rowen found a job in a nursing home in Crieff where she met Ian and it was at this time that Rowen discovered that she had kidney disease (MSKD) producing stones in both kidneys and very painful. There have been many days in hospital for stone removal over the year and when Rowen wasn’t in hospital, she was eager to return to care home to the elderly clients. She worked there for two years before being asked to once again go back to the school and run another house. This time Rowen stayed for five years. During this time Rowen was married and had two children, a boy and two years later a girl.

Rowens parents were in their early 70s when they retired and so began the 20 years of care and support for her parents.. Rowen would take them shopping, out for walks and to the concert hall to listen to classical music. As Rowens parents care needs increased Rowen began to spend her days off and spent some nights in her parents house leaving her own family. It was only a few days and a few nights until Rowens father had a stroke. She then moved out of her family home to spend nights supporting her mother and father and on occasion the two children would spend a night or two to give her a break.

Rowen found a job in the local supermarket after leaving the school and she quickly agreed to help at a children's nursery. She did this when our own children were still young. When our children began school and our daughter was old enough she was asked to help with the local Auchterarder branch of Rainbows, which she did for many years and still does in a lower capacity to this day.

Rowen would take her mother shopping every Tuesday morning and things began to change when Pat, Rena and Sheena, all of whom were retired joined the group. This was known as the lady Run. Every Tuesday morning, she would collect her mum and then the three other ladies, have coffee and cake then go shopping. This she did for a number of years until her mother passed. Even though her mother had passed on, Rowen would continue taking the ladies shopping every Tuesday until Pat moved to Crieff and until Rena passed away. Sheena still would go shopping and occasionally Rowen would go and collect Pat.

During the Ryder cup at Gleneagles in 2014, she was driving home when she was flagged down by some golf fans who pleaded for a lift as one of their friends had had an accident only a few days before. She didn't hesitate, drove the few to Auchterarder and then went back to collect the rest.

This wasn’t the only thing. Rowen joined as a volunteer with the bicycle organisation “Cycling Without Age Scotland" (CWA). Becoming a pilot she gave up her time to take the elderly and the disabled out on a trishaw including her father, around the Perthshire area. Even bringing a trishaw to Auchterarder where she only managed to take a few people out due to the covid outbreak.

On the 14 June 2014 Rowen with her husband and daughter took part in the Pink Ribbon Walk to raise money for breast cancer.

Rowens father passed away in November 2020 and with this passing we as a family looked to our future. We had never been a family as the previous 25 years Rowen had cared for her parents and we had plans and ideas for doing things as a family we booked a family holiday and were looking forward to it till the next phase of covid meant we had to cancel. We waited and booked the same place for our holiday for April this year, only to have this taken away from us due to Rowens diagnosis.

In August 2021 Rowen went out to our gardens and found that her quails had escaped. As she looked, she fell off our raised garden wall, a fall of only three feet ,but enough to cause great pain which lasted months and still continues.

Appointments were made, but no one seemed to be listening to what was going on with Rowen. We were told she had arthritis and go to physiotherapy. This she did, but the pain continued. Her leg was looked at and her shoulder x-rayed, but still no one listened to the fact that her pain was in her hip and back. Not until February did she manage to get an MRI where they found an anomaly . A CT scan was then organised two weeks later on the 25th March Rowen was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Scans showed that there is cancer in both lungs and on the spine and the hip. Rowen wasn't being listened to for 6 months and you can only imagine the emotional rollercoaster we have been on! She also tested positive for covid today (11/04/2022.

This was going to be the year our mortgage would be paid off and we hoped to start work on our house. We planned to have the whole house renovated over the years with insulation, new floors, bathrooms and even an extension so we would have a dining room and replace the old laundry with a new.

Plans for a trip to South Korea and Canada are now impossible or on hold, but the one thing we as a family (Ian, Hawke and Willow) would love to give Rowen is the house she wanted. We have started with our kitchen, which unfortunately didn't go to plan, but it’s a kitchen. A new central heating boiler has also just been installed.

The dream is to give Rowen what she always wished for before she leaves us by giving her her dream home. Rowen always wanted to be at home and be a mother and wife and see our children married, see the grandchildren and I hope to grow old with.

We have never had the opportunity to be a family and when given the opportunity it is now being taken away from us by cancer.

I would like to raise funds to do this work around in our family home and to also raise funds for a trishaw for the Perth CWAS.

What are we asking for.

We are asking for £180,000 to complete the work and for the trishaw.

• To insulate the house.

• New floors.

• Lights.

• Slate the roof.

• Fireplace.

• Painting and decorating.

• An extension.

• A laundry.

• A trishaw in Rowen's name.

Rowen has always helped others; she has been doing this all her life and I hope that we can give something back to her for all the support she has given others over the years.

Thank you for your support.

Ian and our two children, Hawke and Willow.