Kim's Celebration Of Life

This time last year, I had already been bed ridden for 5 weeks. I could no longer even lift myself up with my arms from a laying to sitting position. I would literally eat and drink NOTHING between 7am and 430pm in hopes I wouldn't have to use the bathroom while Alex was at work because I was terrified at the thought of having to get myself up and into the bathroom alone. Even WITH him gently lifting my body into a sitting position, the pain was so excruciating that I would be screaming. Once I was sitting, I needed to stay like that for 5-10 minutes to catch my breath. Then, Alex needed to help pull me up to stand. Bring on more intense pain and screaming. We had a walker by this point, but he needed to hold me and help me shuffle to the restroom. 3 or 4 times, I blacked out from the pain going from a sitting to standing position during the 2 weeks before my hospitalization. 
On June 5, with no medical insurance (we were waiting on ObamaCare to kick in since applying at the beginning of March, knowing my Cobra plan would be ending at the end of April), Alex carried me to the car and raced to the ER. I had vomited for 6 days straight and lost 10lbs. My Dad decided that an outrageous hospital bill didn't matter; needed medical attention. The intake worker took one look at me and threw me in a wheelchair and rushed me in the back.. I honestly don't remember much. But apparently I was in acute renal failure and nearly comatose. If we had waited much longer, I likely wouldn't have made it.. 
The next morning, a doctor walked into my room and said he had some news for me. First, he said he was very surprised that I was talking, and even able to walk to the bathroom with assistance. Based on my test results, I should have been in a coma. Then he said he didn't know how else to say this, and didn't expect this when I came in the previous night, but, "Kimberly, you have cancer" and my jaw dropped as I said "..but they keep telling me it's just fibromyalgia and all in my head!" and he replied, "No, I'm positive it's cancer" and I said "well, what stage?" and he looked surprised at my question and replied "I'm sorry but it's stage IV" and I said "but, that's the end!" and he nodded and said "it's in your arms, legs, back, chest, skull, and liver. I don't know what type of cancer it is yet. Your body is too sick for me to do anymore testing. Your kidneys aren't working. If we can get you through the next 72 hours, then we can learn more" and then he walked away.. 
I called my Dad, hysterical.. my Mom was currently sedated in ICU in Fremont with pneumonia so he was already dealing with a lot. I was a blubbering mess and he couldn't understand anything I was saying so I just started screaming CANCER CANCER CANCER and then I heard him say "oh shit" and I think he began to cry.. I've never SEEN my Daddy cry before. He's much too proud to do that in front of anyone. He asked me to have the doctor call him to explain things because he couldn't understand me at all and I hung up. 
..the next week is a blur. I fought for my life in that hospital. My mom didn't even know what was going on until the third day I was there, and it broke her heart. Once I passed the 3 day mark, they began running every test you can imagine. My mom was released from her hospital on the 10th, and I was released on Alex's birthday, June 12th. I met my cancer doctor on the 13th. We still didn't know the TYPE of cancer I had. Hospital staff had told me my breast lump was "too squishy" to be breast cancer, just like all the other doctors I had seen the 6 months before them. They did a bone biopsy of my spine while I was an in-patient, but results weren't back yet. So the oncologist said to rest that weekend and on Monday the 15th, to go get a mammogram. 
So bright and early Monday morning, we went. My tech was kind of gruff but after just one picture, she became very sweet and gentle. That hinted to me that ok, she sees something. After she took about 10 pictures, I was taken in for an ultrasound with a different tech. And then, the manager came in to do her own ultrasound. Then, I was told they needed to call my cancer doctor and schedule a biopsy. 2 minutes later, 3 techs and Alex helped pull me up from the table and brought me into a room to do the biopsy right then! I was an emergency case. They took 5 samples (it sounds like a stapler being punched into your skin) and the numbing medicine wore off for sample 3.. OUCH! so they injected me again for samples 4 and 5. they inserted something into my breast and did a second mammogram afterwards to check the position, and sent me home with 4 ice packs in my bra. Told me to wait for a call with the results in a few days..
Tuesday night at 11:15pm, my cellphone rang. It was my Dad's cellphone calling. My heart skipped a beat. Dad doesn't call me, for one. And two? Dad goes to bed at 8pm because of his work schedule.. I picked up and hear sirens and yelling. He's frantic. "Your mom had a heart attack. The paramedics are working on her. Firemen and police are here. 13 people in my house. I have to go" and hung up.. I'm shaking. I called her best friend from PA and her best friend from Fremont to tell them. 
11:45pm, my phone rings again. I don't want to answer but I do. I hear a female screaming in the background, likely my sister. My dad is hysterical. "Kim, she's gone. Your mom is gone" I think I said "Daddy nooooo" and hung up. I don't remember.. I just remember screaming. Just screaming NO NO NO NO NO. SHES NOT GONE NO!! I called both of her best friends back and I think I said "she's gone" and hung up.. I really don't know. I didn't have any tears for over an hour. I was in utter shock. Just screaming and shaking. Screaming so loud that the neighbors called Alex to make sure everything was ok.. 
Mom had just called me on Monday, and tearfully made me promise to NOT leave her.. she couldn't live without me. I needed to promise to fight this cancer and never give up! ..and then she's the one who left me.  When you're sick, your Mommy is supposed to take care of you!! I'm sicker than anyone else. Sicker than anyone should ever have to be! and now my Mommy isn't here to take care of me! 
..36 hours later, Thursday morning, we got the call that both the spine and breast biopsy came back. I have stage IV metastatic breast cancer. They asked if I wanted to begin chemo that day or wait until the next Monday so I could grieve my Mom. I said no, let's start now. It's what Mommy would have wanted me to do. So two hours later, I was sitting in the chemo chair for my first 7 hours of chemotherapy. 
Mom never even got to know what TYPE of cancer I had.. she never got to see me after I was hospitalized. The last time she saw me was May 7, 2014. Alex and I took my sister Kate to the Oakland A's double header baseball game for her birthday. I think I took 14 Norco to make it through that day.. 

well, there's her cancer story.   There is no cure, her cancer is terminal....but she can fight to extend her life.  She needs help!  Her Doctors and Physical Therapists have told her that buying a new, better mattress will help her in many ways.  She already deals with extreme pain and her old mattress makes things even harder for her.  As we all know, fighting cancer is not cheap.  Alex and Kim are barely making it by.  I set up this page to see if I could get some help for them!!  The mattress that will help Kim is about $3k, any extra funds raised will go to "bucket list" items that Kim would love to experience.  ANY amount helps, and if you can't donate....please share this to everyone you can!