Please help me save my babies!!!

My name is Trina. I am in desperate need of help. This is going to be long, but please read this. I only need help to retain an attorney to remain with my sons. I will figure out how to pay the rest of the attorney's fees. I do not have any time to come up with the money because I will be served an eviction notice any day now from the father of my boys, with whom I have spent the last 27 years of my life. I am a very devoted mother of 3 sons. My middle son was born with Downs Syndrome and changed my life in ways that no one could understand unless they have experienced being around someone with Downs.

I have had a lot of trauma in my life. My grandfather shot and killed my grandmother, then killed himself on Christmas Eve; my mother, my best friend, was killed by being thrown from a horse; my son was born with Downs; my brother's daughter was also born with Downs and with a severe seizure disorder, my oldest son told me he was gay, and my youngest was diagnosed with dyslexia. Although none of my son's conditions made me love them any less, I loved them even more and wanted to protect them in every way I could. When things are wrong with our children, mothers tend to blame themselves, which is exactly what I did.

I am currently in the fight of my life to be able to remain in my children's life. I have always been expected to work full time, even when it became nearly impossible when my son with downs was younger and had severe behavior issues; I also had a newborn at the same time. I was responsible for working full-time, getting the boys to and from daycare, and doing everything at the house basically all by myself. Most days, the first thing my husband did was come home and gripe about the first thing he saw that was not perfect. Although he loved the boys, his focus was always on his career. Already depressed over all the trauma, I became very overwhelmed and was never allowed to express my feelings about anything, so I was quietly dying inside. After being prescribed Vicodin, the first time I took it, my pain inside and out was gone, and I felt like super mom. I never felt messed up in any way; I was just energized and happy. As depressed as I was, this was like a miracle. I became addicted and very terrified. I made a lot of wrong choices trying to keep happy and energized feelings. I went to my family and told them I needed help. Instead of being hugged and told everything was going to be ok, my husband was furious. He took me to a detox facility and said he hoped I had screwed up my liver. After detoxing, I made the wrong choice of not going to rehab because he was already angry, so I did not want him to miss work to take care of the boys. I stayed sober for a few years but was caught when I relapsed and was told not to come home, that the locks were changed, and that he would call the police. He filed for divorce, and after not showing up to court on time because I did not realize it was daylight savings time, I lost everything, including my kids. I was devastated and no longer wanted to live. I attempted to end my life and deal with the effects of it still today. I finally hit my rock bottom, called my family, and went to rehab, where I stayed for a few months. Afterward, I moved back to Austin and into sober living, and after a few months, I was able to move back home with my husband and boys to this day.

Things were great initially, but I began to see that I would be punished rather than forgiven. My son with Downs woke up one day going crazy. He stayed this way for about eight months before we finally got him in with a psychologist, where he was diagnosed with schitzophrenia. He already had enough issues, and watching him go through what he does daily broke me down. On top of that, my youngest got into major trouble while running with the wrong crowd. I spent every second I had doing everything possible for both of them. My son's problems included smoking weed. My husband and I did not see eye to eye on how to handle him. His answer was to scream and yell, remove everything he had and lock him in his room forever. I knew firsthand it would only make it worse because he would rebel. I talked with him and gained his trust, and he told me about the dire situation he got into. I changed jobs and cut my pay in half to be home with him at all times. He did not leave my sight at all. I also got him to see a psychiatrist regularly. Both boys had many issues, but I have always been made to work. My husband keeps his money to himself and the kids, and I never see anything from him. I have always paid for everything my boys have and everything we do fo. I was designated as my son's caregiver and have been paid monthly by the state. My husband went behind my back and canceled me, and I was going to have a stranger making $9.50 per hour watching him. I was in disbelief, especially after I started working overnights to be home with him. My husband has not been home in over two years except for the four days a week he works, and he only eats and goes to sleep while I am still expected to do everything with my boys and the house myself. His plan backfired. Connor's case managers became furious when they found out. I have been the only one involved with Connors's care the entire time, and they know how close we are. All 3 case workers from each agency came up with a plan, they gave Connor a test, and he passed, so they named him as his legal rep. They asked him who he wanted to take care of, and he said, my mommy. They all started clapping and said you would always be his caregiver unless Connor fired you.

Since then, he has come home yelling and screaming for me to get out of his house in front of my kids every day. The police have been here several times. He said you wait. They are fixing to make you leave and you won't ever see your kids. He pulled out our 7 yr old divorce decree, and the police said you want her to go; you will have to file an eviction. She has just as many rights to this house and the kids as you do because in their eyes, although we never remarried or updated my rights ton my kids, we are common-law married. Since then, he has taken my things, cut off our cable and Connors's favorite shows, telling me he is taking my car since he signed on it after ruining my credit when he would not report child support that I had paid diretly to him, and also refusing to pay for Chases things for his first homecoming dance after he promised him he would. He sends Chase horrible daily texts telling him he does not listen to me and that I will be gone soon. Chase texted him that if he kicked me out, he would kill himself, and his dad had the nerve to say thank you for giving me what I needed to get you committed to straighten you out from being around your psycho mother! Connor, 21, has peed the bed every night for 3 weeks now! My kids are hurting so bad. I have no money since I took a pay cut to be home with them because I have always had to work. I have spent 27 years doing everything by myself, and he is filing an eviction notice to kick me out with nothing!!! If it weren't for me, he would not have what he has! We have three houses in front of his sons because of a piece of paper; he controls everything and always has. Living with a narcissist is the hardest thing in the world, especially for kids. We never went on vacations, amusement parks, or anything unless it was what he wanted. If we do anything, I have to pay for it when he makes a lot of money. He has also made me pay child support this entire time I have been back home to stay here! I have seen several messages coming from his ex that he was with while I was in rehab. He wants me gone to be with her and does not want to pay me a dime. He has watched what he has done to his kids and could care less and long as he wins in the end. I made a colossal mistake but never meant to hurt anyone. I was broken and desperate to keep going so I could take care of my kids! Maybe if he had hugged me on my bad day and said everything would be okay. Perhaps I would have been strong enough not to make my mistakes. I have been 100% sober and 100% committed to my kids. Please help me to fight him and do what is best for our kids. They need their mom, and I need them more, but we all need him to stop hurting us repeatedly every time he walks through the door.

He also says that he made up his condition, and I am medicating Connor for no reason! Anyone around him before he was diagnosed knows how bad off he was.

I have sacrificed everything for 27 years and do not deserve this. I became overwhelmed doing it all alone. I had a special needs child with behavior issues, a newborn, and I was expected to work full time and was yelled at every if things were not perfect when he came home! Please help me to be able to get an attorney who cares. The only thing he has ever managed to care about is money. We made it possible for him to grow in his career, only to be left with nothing.