Sam is moving and could use a helping hand these holidays

I want to help out a neighbour, a friend - a good guy who deserves a break. I've known Sam for a few years, and he has always been friendly, and grew up in an era where honesty, kindness and community were everyday values. Of course, the world has changed, and our lives all change - our situations can get better, or worse. He doesn't know I am doing this, but he needs someone to do something like this, on his behalf. I have to show respect and not share all the details - even those that I do know.

Although we shouldn't need permission to help others, I am wary of overstepping personal boundaries. I plan to be a 'secret Santa'. I will leave the money in an envelope, securely in his mailbox. I will buy a few gift cards for food to include as well, but I really don't want to embarrass him or to have him feel patronised, or have any sense of obligation or indebtedness to me if I just hand it over or try to leave it behind after a visit. I don't want him dwelling on the kindness of strangers by mentioning a crowdfunding intervention.

I want to preserve his dignity, self-reliance and confidentiality. He may be poor, but is still proud. But I just cannot stand by and do nothing. An anonymous gift, from some friends, will be what Sam gets. No explanation, just a short note "hoping it helps" and to realise that people do care. I know he has not been able to continue asking through agencies and service providers because he reckons there are so many others more deserving of help than him.

Sam would not consider using a crowdfunding platform to seek help. I don't think he even has any social media accounts or is active online. Sam is stoic and tries to be self reliant. Like many, he struggles with the cost of living by tightening his belt. He avoids homelessness by giving up other things like medication, or having a car. When his car broke down, he didn't have the money to fix it, and paying rego so it could be parked on the street legally made no sense, so it went for a minimal price on the back of the tilt tray to the wreckers.

He still has his bike. But recently, he has spoken of selling his bike, or his guitar, or his camera. This would take away his independence, his relaxation and his creativity. They would not get more than a few hundred dollars anyway. Losing these activities that cost nothing and provide so much would be the saddest thing for Sam. The library is a place that is both free, and full of books, another of Sam's simple pleasures.

Sam has to move early next year, he seems to have found a place he can actually afford, a granny flat - although it is not a social housing property, it is affordable enough in today's market. Now his remarks about moving to the 'Canvas Estate' don't seem so dark. Sam has to move, needs some help for over the next couple of months with bills, and upcoming medical costs too. He will have moving costs. He will have establishment costs. They are modest, like Sam.

I am aware that just handing over the cash to Sam may make his embarrassed, or explaining - a tent is an option he has considered. He thinks he is lucky because he has a GP that bulk-bills him. His specialists don't though. I know he does not always fill all his prescriptions. Lots of people have to choose between food and medicine. In that regard, Sam is not alone.

He's too young to retire, to old to get hired, not disabled enough to get into that system, disabled enough to suffer. From what I know, he has lost more times that he has won. He once owned a house, had a business, and was comfortable. The GFC was years ago, but took it's toll. I don't know all the detail, nor would I share them if I did. We are all just one financial event or health crisis away from being in Sam's situation.

Although he contributed all his working life, Sam now needs some support from the society he helped to build - he stumbled and fell through the cracks and frankly, with respect to all the others who also need help, a middle aged white guy is not a priority these days for most services.

His kids won't bother to do much - they didn't for his birthday or Fathers day. I don't know his children, and I am not his therapist, so I sometimes see and hear the sadness and loneliness of having no close family. His wife passed away 25 years or so ago, at a relatively young age. Those are his memories and his pain. He knows life is not fair, and it certainly has not been to him. Like many in his situation, they shrink back from society. They lose connection, lose the joy of a social life and participating in the world with others. He has spoken of losing all his possessions in floods back in 2011 and how he never really recovered from that. His life situation reflects bad luck more than bad decisions.

Anything over the 3k I estimate he needs for the next couple of months will just be a bit of a savings kitty to go forward with. It would be nice to start off in his new place with some nutritious food in the pantry. I know he has been eating cheap sub standard food for too long, which never helps anyone - sauce on toast is only fancy when you have bread but no sauce. I've tried to help him where I can, some food, my 'old' TV... a lift here and there, but I am hoping that there are others out there who can help me to help Sam in the ways he needs leading up to Christmas and over the New Year.

I have passed along an old phone, as his 3G model became redundant recently with the nationwide network shutdown, and it is almost a requirement to have a phone to access govt services or banking these days. That old mobile phone was retired because the battery wasn't holding a full charge. A simple new one would be a great Christmas present for Sam.

So, if you can help a mate out, if you can have a few less beers, or not buy a few plastic trinkets that will be used for a few days and then thrown out or put away until next year, I would appreciate it. I know Sam would. He could be your neighbour, your old co-worker - but he is one of us, and I remember a time when we used to look after our own.

Thanks for reading my request - if you can help, it will be truly appreciated. If you can't help out Sam, then at least remember there are other ways we can all give back at this time of year, so try and help someone less fortunate, someone who is alone. Just a phone call, a card with $20 in it, or a food parcel, can be a huge difference to someone's day. Giving is more powerful than receiving, every time.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you - please appreciate your families, even if they are not perfect. If you yourself are alone at this time of year, then know I will be thinking of you, and people like Sam will be too. We share that humanity. Life is hard, and without going into why it is harder these days than ever, let our human spirit shine through with help and support for each other.