Sara Krause-LLoyd-- I feel hopeless and scared.

Dear MHC siblings:

It has been a very difficult time for my family and me these past few years, culminating in where we are right now. Here is the back story.

It began in 2019 when I broke my leg at the knee and was unable to work or leave my home without at least two people helping me get downstairs while bearing weight on my right leg. When I was finally able to return to work COVID hit, and we all were home. David, my husband, and Cecelia's and Josophine's dad, went in for an MRI to see if there was anything else causing his horrible head ache, which was constant. Unfortunately, there was a tumor, and he was diagnosed with lung cancer. They operated and removed the tumor and treated the cancer very aggressively. They stopped treatment in June of 2021, and we watched him deteriorate slowly over the summer.

I returned to the ETL job that I had had for 7 years, and in October I decided to take unpaid family medical leave so David could return home and spend whatever time he had left with us. The next day my employer of seven years fired me for no cause. I was a teacher with professional status, and there was no reason to let me go. David passed away four days later on October 19, 2021.

My daughters and I struggled emotionally with the loss as we tried to navigate things financially. I could not find any work during that school year. On June 16, 2022, I was in a car accident with my oldest daughter (who has PTSD, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, and a pseudo tumor in conjunction with a TBI). I had hurt my right shoulder in the accident and was awaiting my appointment with the orthopedic surgeon when our family got COVID really badly. We were all vaccinated, yet it hit us horribly. Even with the medication, I was on the verge of being sent to the hospital because of my lungs.

After three long weeks I was finally getting better, only to get worse again. The doctors then stated that my daughters and I would have long Covid. I had to change the appointment with the orthopedic surgeon from mid-July to September 2nd. I had just started working as an ETL for a new school district 45 minutes away from home. The orthopedic surgeon determined there was something seriously wrong with my right shoulder. Then on September 8th an unlicensed car smashed into the driver's door of the car I was driving with my daughters also in it.

I missed a few days of work but went in hurting, since every day out meant unpaid leave. Then the results of my right shoulder came back, and I had shoulder surgery on September 26th. Until January of 2023, I was in and out of work due to my injuries. I was making about 750.00 a month. Unfortunately, my shoulder did not get better, and I had to have a reverse shoulder replacement on March 27, 2023. (I have 35% disability from my right shoulder, and it hurts a lot still.) I was able to get unemployment eventually, but when I did, I made too much money to retain my food stamps.

With all of that we pushed through. In June I was using my tax refund to finish our kitchen. Our kitchen saga started in August 2019 when we hired a contractor we knew. I paid him, since he was just starting out and giving us a good deal. Well, he hurt his back and then I broke my leg and was in a wheelchair for over 5 months. A year later I asked the contractor to finish, but he refused, and now I will not get my money back. So, we had a non-functioning kitchen. In June 2023, I hired another contractor, but he had his own personal issues. I am left with no sink, no stove, no way of washing dishes, a floor that is not finished etc. I have not been able to cook but have been getting prepared food that is too expensive. I have been paying for a pod that has all my kitchen items in it.

Finally, in August, I found employment as an ETL, hired to start on September 1st, but due to their own process I started on October 3rd, 2023, with less than 14 hours’ notice. Then, right before the second anniversary of David's passing, we all got Covid again. So, I was out of work for over a week (unpaid) and returned to work trying to do all I could while dealing with long Covid symptoms, especially lung issues and fatigue. It felt as if no one really cares.

Now let us fast forward to Friday. I was let go from my job. Just an email to meet in my office at 2:30pm when I am off work. I got handed a letter of termination and told I need to stay and organize all my files, leave notes for them, and finish any work I was currently doing before they came. I was then to leave the laptop and keys in the office, lock the door, go home to never come back. They then left me, and I stayed and worked to about 5:00 pm, because I take pride in the work I do.

Now I have no way to pay the bills not to mention trying to make Christmas happy at least. I have enough money to pay the mortgage for one more month and payment on the car. Not sure where anything else will come from. I do a very specialized job in the school system called an ETL, so it is hard to find jobs right now. Ever since my job let me go four days before David died after requesting family medical leave, I have been overwhelmed and needing the stability that work always gave. At least I had a job, could feed my kids, put a roof over their heads etc. Now I cannot do that. I have maybe 2 or 3 weeks left of unemployment, and I will not have made enough to file next April.

So, I have no kitchen right now, and had no way to cook our day of thanks meal, nor can I order food or eat out. I bought groceries last week, and it cost over 300.00. I am not sure when I can buy food again. I cannot get food stamps until after I have no more unemployment. It is a vicious cycle. I will need help with fuel for the house, but with no money coming in they will not issue it to me. I do not even have the ability to celebrate my daughter Sophia's birthday/passing. Sophia was born on December 1, 2003, and passed 6 hours later from anencephaly. Every year we do a little something to celebrate her. This year she would have been 20 years old.

Right now, I just feel very hopeless, and it is so overwhelming to not know how I can care for my family. I am scared, and I cannot seem to stop crying. I put up a good façade for my children, and I tell them it will all work out fine, and I will do my best to make it all work. I keep saying this over and over, saying prayers, manifestations, to find a job that will pay the bills and that will last, to get my kitchen fixed and everything moved back in, and to put some in the bank or do something nice for Christmas, birthdays, etc. Any amount would help me, so thank you so much for reading this, for hearing me out, for your support and your generosity.

With my warm regards,

Sara