Matthew Lock ADHD Charity to raise awareness of Suicide.
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We are trying to raise £5000 to set up a charity to provide information for those with ADHD and raise awareness of the condition and the increased risk of Addiction and Suicide if not diagnosed and treated as early as possible. To advocate for this information to be identified within the NHS website, along with other symptoms which are associated with ADHD such as Emotional Dysregulation.
On 8th September, 2023 our only son, Matthew Harry Lock at the age of 19 took a catastrophic decision to end his own life in an impulsive act. We're left devastated and eternally brokenhearted together with our friends, neighbours and local community. Matthew was much loved and well-known by so many people.
Matthew is our only child, always happy, a smiley baby from the minute he was born. From an early age he loved Henry Hoover by 5 he wanted to know how it worked igniting his interest in taking apart vacuums. This fascination led him to become a whiz kid at fixing and refurbishing them. At 13 Matthew was interviewed by the media because of his extensive collection and knowledge of vacuums and the business he’d built from it. Some of his customers included friends, neighbours, local businesses and even a few of his Teachers!
At school, Matthew gained good GCSE's passed Business Studies and Engineering exams in sixth form and was attending University locally studying business.
Matthew loved his (westie) dog Hetty, named after the hoover! Growing up he loved going to the climbing wall in Liverpool and magnet fishing for a while in between making YouTube videos on how to fix/repair vacuums and reviewing them. He was impulsive, often taking risks without thinking things through, like when he climbed on the shed roof at age 8 to try fixing a leak! When Matthew was younger many commented on how mature and articulate he was for his young years. At 16 he first appeared as a guest on ITV’s This Morning with his vacuum collection. Following that appearance he was regularly invited back to review the latest in vacuum technology and other gadgets which he loved doing. He’d often come in and say, ‘Mum, some people asked for a selfie after recognising me from the TV!’ then ask him for advice on which vacuum or household gadget to buy!
- Matthew enjoyed being involved with the local community and being outdoors, he had boundless energy and was always sociable, often out clearing overgrown spots and tidying ‘grot spots’ with his friend and fellow councillor, Ken and other volunteers. Eventually, this led to him becoming an elected Town Councillor at 18 dedicating a lot of his time to make a difference within the community. Matthew's commitment was reflected in a show of kindness and support from our local community as they got together and donated in Matthew’s name to have the local subway officially named after him in his memory. This is a fitting tribute as he’d regularly help with its maintenance by tidying the hedging, painting and cleaning the local underpass walkway for the residents.
Matthew was caring, thoughtful and sensitive, a wonderful grandson, friend and neighbour to many. He had a great sense of humour and loved to make us laugh, he was kind, smart and always happy to stop and chat with people. He’d help anyone if he could and often did. Ironically, he helped talk a person suffering a crisis back down to safety one night on his way home. He loved his music, Festivals, having his friends round and karaoke, although he couldn’t sing!
Matthew made people smile, he was great company, a unique character who lit up the room. He was and will always be our hero and his late nan's hero. We'll forever love and miss you, words cannot express how lost we are without you son, our lives will never be the same. Rest in eternal peace Matthew with your Nan and Grandad Sonny xxx
We want to raise awareness of ADHD in Matthew’s memory and legacy that will inform across all sectors of the critical importance of recognising, diagnosing and treating ADHD effectively and promptly to prevent the risks of poor outcomes in life that can lead to tragic consequences. To raise awareness and understanding of the debilitating daily impact ADHD can have on those with the condition and the need for better understanding, support and treatment.
Matthew was officially diagnosed with Aspergers (ASD) at 13. However, ADHD was not picked up due to a catalogue of missed opportunities across his education, by clinical professionals, the NHS and its administrative process. Ultimately, Matthew was failed by so many at so many opportunities. As parents, we knew Matthew struggled with certain aspects of school, concentration, getting homework done etc and his emotional self-regulation. He would get easily frustrated leading to emotional overwhelm. He was always busy and never seemed to relax properly. Each time we reached out for support these traits were dismissed as ‘boys being boys’ and just 'needed to focus', 'try harder' and 'you're overly sensitive' and as Matthew behaved well in school he went under the radar.
When Matthew started to go out and socialise it was inevitable alcohol would be a part of that and we thought he was just ’ being a teenager’ growing up and enjoying life which he did. We weren’t aware of the increased risk between ADHD and addiction. Often self-medicating can easily become a coping mechanism for someone with ADHD through alcohol, substance misuse, gaming, shopping or gambling for example. However, if ADHD is diagnosed early and treated effectively with medication where appropriate this risk is mitigated by up to 85%.
Research studies suggest links between ADHD and anxiety, depression and addiction and an increased risk of accidents, self-harm and suicide through impulsivity and risky behaviours. As Matthew’s parents, we were never informed by the clinical professionals (NHS, CAMHS) of the risks even when he was diagnosed with ADHD at 18, even though we had completed the questionnaire stating that we were concerned about Matthew's level of use of alcohol. We don’t want any other family to go through this devastation and heartbreak and say ‘But we didn’t know ...’ We will honour Matthew’s name and strive to make a difference by telling our story and raising this awareness as we know Matthew would want us to.
Research shows that adults with ADHD are 5 times more likely to attempt suicide.
1 in 4 women with ADHD have made attempts on their life and 1 in 10 men with ADHD have made attempts on their life, while men are more likely to end their life.
Accidental death is also common, Underlying impulsivity can make them more prone to making spontaneous attempts on their life without necessarily intending to die.
Thank you again for any kind donation you can make and for your support in this campaign in Matthew’s memory.
Richard & Christine
Should you feel you are struggling with mental health issues or know someone who is and may also be struggling with alcohol, substance abuse, gambling or any other addictive behaviour that is negatively impacting their life, please reach out and speak to someone as soon as possible or seek professional help.
Remember that thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life are often temporary. Your feelings will pass. Talk them through there is always someone there who will listen.
See below for people who want to help you
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
0800 58 58 58
thecalmzone.net
Provides a helpline and online chat, as well as information and support, for anyone affected by suicide or suicidal thoughts.
James' Place
0151 [phone redacted] (Liverpool)
020 3488 8404 (London)
0191 [phone redacted] (Newcastle)
jamesplace.org.uk
Free, non-residential therapy and support for men aged 18 and over in suicidal crisis. Support is delivered face-to-face at their centres in Liverpool, London and Newcastle.
Maytree Suicide Respite Centre
020 7263 7070
maytree.org.uk
Offers free respite stays for people in suicidal crisis.
The Mix
85258 (crisis messenger service, text THEMIX)
themix.org.uk
Support and advice for under 25s, including a crisis messenger service, email and webchat.
Mood diaries
bipolaruk.org/FAQs/track-your-mood-diary
emoodtracker.com
Some examples of mood diaries – many more are available. Mind doesn't endorse any particular one.
National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK
0800 [phone redacted]
spuk.org.uk/national-suicide-prevention-helpline-uk/
Helpline offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. Open from 6 pm to midnight every day. If you are unable to connect to the main number above you can call 0800 [phone redacted].
NHS 111 (England)
111
18001 111 (text relay)
NHS 111 BSL service
111.nhs.uk
Non-emergency medical help and advice for people in England. If you call 111, select option 2 to access a 24/7 helpline offering urgent mental health support.
NHS 111 (Wales)
111
111.wales.nhs.uk
Non-emergency medical help and advice for people living in Wales. If you call 111, select option 2 to access a 24/7 helpline offering urgent mental health support.
Papyrus HOPELINEUK
0800 068 41 41
07860039967 (text)
papyrus-uk.org
Confidential support for under-35s at risk of suicide and others who are concerned about them. Open 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Sane
0300 [phone redacted]
sane.org.uk
Offers emotional support and information for anyone affected by mental health problems, including a helpline.
Samaritans
116 123 (freephone)
Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS
samaritans.org
Samaritans are open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk. You can visit some Samaritans branches in person. Samaritans also have a Welsh Language Line on 0808 [phone redacted] (7pm–11pm every day).
Shout
85258 (text SHOUT)
giveusashout.org
Confidential 24/7 text service offering support if you're in crisis and need immediate help.
Stay Alive
prevent-suicide.org.uk
App with help and resources for people who feel suicidal or are supporting someone else.
Students Against Depression
studentsagainstdepression.org
Information and support for students experiencing suicidal feelings, including a helpful safety plan template.
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS)
uk-sobs.org.uk
Emotional and practical support and local groups for anyone bereaved or affected by suicide.
Switchboard
0800 0119 100
hello@switchboard/lgbt
switchboard.lgbt
Listening services, information and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
Togetherall
togetherall.com
Online mental health community (formerly called Big White Wall). Free in some areas through your GP, employer or university.
Fundraising team (2)
Richard Lock
Organizer
Christine Lock
Team member