Shelby's Transition Fund

Hi everyone!

 

My name is Shelby, I'm from London, England and I am the lead vocalist and keys player with the progressive and alternative rock group, KYROS. On the side I am also an audio engineer, film maker and CG artist. I am also a transgender woman and I am proud of my identity and consider this to be a very important part of who I am as a person.

 

In 2016 I was diagnosed with depression, disassociative disorders, panic attacks and agoraphobia when my mental health hit rock bottom after years of turmoil and issues stemming from as young as my mid teens. Things got pretty dangerous. Multiple courses of antidepressants only somewhat numbed the feelings. I was on a very high prescription, so the side effects really crept in and had their own set of negative impacts. All in all, my outlook wasn't looking good. Cognitive behavioral therapy only somewhat gave me the tools to deal with panic attacks... but none of that hit the problem at the source. The source being a problem that was so deep rooted, yet so repressed that I had spent most of my life denying it. It took until 2020 for me to finally stand up and admit that I had to do something about this and no matter what the long term impacts were, that this would ultimately the best path to take.

 

In all honesty, I feel like I had no choice here. Ultimately, the decision to act on this would end up saving my life.

 

As the pandemic set in, it feels like I probably would have come to terms with this sooner or later given how much more thinking time I had to myself. But I can pretty confidently say that if I had continued to repress this, then I really don't know where I would be today. That's a scary thought. It's a brutally open and honest one, but I hope it puts across the sheer gravity of this.

 

Since beginning my transition - and especially since starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in July 2020 - my mental health and wellbeing has improved so so much. It's a truly remarkable night and day difference and continues to blow my mind. Who'd a thought it eh... not living a lie and actually being your true self makes you happy. It sounds so simple on the surface.

Seeing the effects of HRT (estrogen and testosterone blockers) on my appearance and causing drastic changes in the way I look and even how I perceive the world around me has been a truly staggering yet mindblowingly affirming experience.

 

In September 2021, I had Facial Feminisation Surgery at the London Transgender Clinic. This was expertly undertaken by surgeon, Christopher Inglefield. 

Typically considered a form of corrective surgery rather than purely cosmetic - Facial Feminisation Surgery (FFS) is an umbrella term for surgical procedures which are performed on a transgender patient to “feminise”/soften the features of their face, which are traditionally read as “masculine” characteristics. I truly believe this surgery to be an essential part of my transition for a number of reasons including further assisting in alleviating dysphoria - but above all, reason number one is safety. I live in the heart of one of the most progressive and tolerant cities in the world - London. But trans discrimination, abuse, harassment and even violence still occurs. I want to be proud of who I am, but I still want to blend into society and not have my identity questioned or 'clocked' when I am going about with my life. A year on and the results of my Facial Feminisation Surgery have gone on to improve my life further than ever anticipated. Reflecting a marked improvement on my confidence (as a number of people have also told me!) and given me a further sense of security when going about the world.

 

Of course, the grim side to all of this is that it really is very very expensive to transition. Surgeries are expensive and even with the NHS prescriptions I have access to, costs still do add up.

My parents have been incredibly supportive so far, but I can not rely on them to foot the costs of all aspects of my transition.

I also started a Patreon account back in 2020 with the primary goal of putting that money towards transition fees and costs but of course, that isn't enough. I work my butt off every day on what is essentially three jobs - audio engineering, managing Old Street Studios and all of my work with Kyros (which includes multiple heavy workloads of non-paid jobs). It keeps me busy but transitioning is not cheap and I am still paying off related debts. 

I have had a number of wonderful friends mention that I should start a GoFundMe and that this would be a good source of additional money to put solely into my transition fund. Especially as not everyone is interested in signing onto my Patreon and the content that comes with it and being on a fixed monthly plan. (By all means if you'd rather support me that way, please do!!) Every single penny from this GoFundMe campaign will go straight into my transition fund, allowing me to safely and comfortably transition.

 

Anything you can contribute to my campaign will be hugely appreciated. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Lots of love,

Shelby

 

PS, awhile ago I wrote this song about my experiences on coming to terms with being trans and my fears of how the public would react.