Sian's top surgery

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story :)

 

I have felt really apprehensive about creating this gofundme - I have been mulling over creating this and sharing my story openly for a while. I really wanted to find my own way to fund my surgery, but unfortuantely it is proving very difficult!

 

I realise £6500 is a huge amount of money, but even donating a small amount would help in a big way and I would appreciate it more than words can say.

If you cannot donate I totally understand but would be so grateful if you could help me by sharing this page :)

 

If you would like to find out more about my story and reasons for my top surgery please read down, if not then thank you for taking the time to click on this page and donate/share<3

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There are a number of reasons I require top surgery/double mastectomy, I'll briefly bullet point them and then go into more detail:

Ever since I can remember I have felt like I was in the 'wrong' body. It's been a battle I have been fighting since the tender age of three when I used to tell everyone that I 'wasn't a girl, I am boy!' I remember genuinely thinking that I was a boy, of course until puberty hit. I have grown up confused, dissociating from my body and relentlessly trying to manipluate my body via extreme exercise and strict diets; in my eyes, the less body fat I have the smaller my boobs and hips are... I have been wearing sports bras/binding for the last ten years which is uncomfortable & can affect my breathing. I have badly injured myself in the gym, developed eating disorders and have back problems from my poor posture (to disguise my chest) all because I am constantly trying to fight my biology, maximise my masculine elements and minimise my feminity & the size of my chest. This impacts my whole life.

Over the years I have tried several different routes to fund my surgery myself - I have taken various NHS routes including: mental health, gender identity & family history / genetics. All routes I have been trying to take over the years have been sadly leading to dead ends. For example, I have been on the wait list for the NHS gender identity clinic since 2018 and I am yet to have an appointment! Even when I do eventually get an appointment there is no guarentee that I will recieve funding for top surgery - this is partly because I am still unsure whether to have hormone therapy. From my research, the NHS usually require you to be on hormones before surgery. For me, as I am non binary, I am unsure whether taking hormones is the route for me; I have always felt like I need to have my breasts removed first before I change my body permantely with the irreversable changes hormones would bring. Everyone is different and I personally feel I need to get used to my new body (without breasts) before I make a permant decision to take hormones. Hormones are a potential option for me in the future, but I cannot be sure until I have had surgery and lived in my new body for a while.

 

To reinforce my dysphoria with my body is the fact that breast cancer is very strong in my immediate family history. Both my mother, maternal & paternal grandmothers have had breast cancer; my paternal grandmother being diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 39 and sadly passing at 46. Both my mother & maternal grandmother had breast cancer twice - luckily my mother is a double survivor! <3

 

I have been exploring the NHS family history/genetics route, my mother has been tested for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 cancer genes
but luckily she does not have these particular genes - however I have been informed that there may be other breast cancer genes that cannot be tested yet. They do not know whether my paternal grandmother had a cancer gene and due to some complications we may never know if she had the gene or if we have gentically inherited any cancer genes. The genetics team (who have been amazing) have determined that with the information they have, that I do have a moderate risk of developing breast cancer and that I will soon need to have regular mammograms. I would much rather just remove them than have to put myself through any risk. 

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and donate/share <3

Love Sian :)