Single mother, becoming disabled, asking for help

My name is Mary Cambarare, a lot of you may know me some of you may not. It took a lot for me to be able to do this. I feel overcome with guilt due to the fact there's a lot more people struggling out there worse than me and there was one other time in life when I lost my daughter when all kinds of people came together and helped my child and I in the most dire time of need and I'll forever be grateful for that...

I have found, with the encouragement and guidance of others, I find myself asking for help now. What most don't know I have become at the age of 37 years Young with a crippling condition. I have degenerative disc disease in my cervical spine that has progressively gotten worse and will continue to do so surgery is in my near future. Because of this disease I have and the progress of it, I am in daily chronic pain in ways I cannot explain and find myself not being able to do normal daily functions without help, sadly but thankfully most of that help comes from my son. It's hard for me to open anything it's hard for me to drive a lot there's a lot of times I have to pull over when my symptoms get worse throughout the day I experience paralysis temporarily in my arms, hands, fingers and chest even. I can't tilt my neck back to look up at the sky like I once was able to. My equilibrium is off as well, I run into everything, every time I get up to move. I fall periodically and sometimes for hours I can't use my hands bc my fingers lock up and I find myself lying on the hard ground trying to work what's caught or happening.

All of this is caused by a bunch of conditions like spinal myelopathy, cervical spinal stenosis, cervical spinal spondylosis, cervical spinal kyphosis, and cervical spinal arthritis.

I have not ate as I have my entire life since January due to choking and yes I was hospitalized for that and lots of procedures done, my spine is curving inward now in my neck. I get up and I don't stop until I absolutely can't do anymore or unless I have to take breaks, is it difficult and painful to keep going throughout my days, yes, but I have too. I know that it could be much worse it has been much worse and there's much worse happening to people out there.

As a result of all this I have not worked for one year and one month now. I cannot work even if I wanted to, which believe me I do.

I found myself in a relationship that became very toxic and I knew it was only a matter of a short time before the aggressive behavior and domestic violence was going to spill over in front of my child and to me that's not even a question or a possibility of allowing. He had to go.

I was with a narcissist who abused me in every form and in every way. And I knew eventually he wouldn't be able to control and not lash out in front of my child, that's typically how these kind of situations go. And I knew it was a matter of time before he ended up killing me knowing, one hard hit, one hard squeeze in the back of the neck one more time and that would be the time that severed my spine...

As a result of leaving him, I find myself in the most financial crisis of my life I've ever been in. I'm asking for help. I need to come up with money fast, he had lied to me for months about rental payments for certain items, basically about everything that's crucial. And now I'm left trying to gather the money somehow, not able to work to pay for things that were not being paid over the last couple months as it turns out and to come up with utility money deposits i need.

He managed to break my cell phone and crack my windshield of course neither of those things he fixed..

A lot of people encouraged me to do this and to share my story and my situation.

I'll walk with God I lay it on God and I believe with God all things are possible I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel and I know that this won't be how life will be in one year I know that taking the right path is always the hardest path but in the end the rewards will be greater and that's the path I'm on I don't know what's around the corner I don't know how I'm going to make it this winter in the cold I don't know how every bill is going to be paid and essential needs for the house and myself and child provided. I'm not able to do the side work that I could do for yards in the winter I'm not able to bring in any money. I know I'm going to figure this out, I always do.

Anything and everything would be be greatly and deeply appreciated and definitely help me.

I don't know how to ask for help but I realize that it's okay too.

I have secured us a home and am beyond grateful for that, if I tried to work right now it would not only land me in the hospital but cause my conditions to worsen and mess up other things that I have happening that in time could potentially change life drastically for us. However, in the meantime I need help. I need help to make it through the coming months I need help to make it through right now

I know come what May I Will rise above this take us out of it and secure a bright future. There is no other option.

However, I Ask for much needed help now...

God bless you all love you all and thank you..