So many worries

Hi, my name is Sharon the sheep lady.

For those of you who don't know me, here is a brief history

16 years ago I found a true love for cows, I had built a very successful dance wear business, along with a few properties that I had bought and renovated. I was good at what I did and was very good at building a business as I hated to be defeated. Long story short, I was earning so much money but my life lacked meaning or purpose and I left all that I knew behind to rescue animals.

I went from a small holding to a 50 acre ex farm (with the help of a much loved friend, (Kevin) a man who was originally a supporter, who believed in me and was always there to support me. We both sold up and joined forces, sadly Kevin passed away a few years ago and never got to live the dream, but I carried on in his memory and built an amazing sanctuary that is home to over 300 rescues, alongside that I networked to find homes for animals in need.

Losing Kevin was a huge loss as not only did I lose a true friend I also lost the main man behind the scenes who made all this possible.

Over the last 2 years I lost another amazing supporter who has stood by me since I started all of this. Val sadly died of cancer last year and even now I still miss her online presence, I have all of her sheep that she could no longer take care of and I promised her all would be safe for life.

Then this year I lost the biggest funder yet, who helped me achieve new barns and helped me get through the last few winters. I am truly grateful for their help and every single penny has gone into the sanctuary plus all my own savings and the money that Kevin left in his will.

The issue is, I no longer have the time to spend hours upon hours online networking as I run the whole place with no volunteers. Over the years I have tried but always felt let down with the unreliability and peoples broken promises. I continued here with 2 ex farmers who are paid ( they don't charge a lot but its literally the only way that I could keep going. )

This year I was so close to the finish line with all sanctuary works completed and a lot of ideas to generate income. I was truly buzzing with excitement and had faith that I could do this, but as most of you know, life is never that simple. The one person that I thought I could rely on, let me down and not only did I lose the will, I just knew that I could not physically do all of this and build a new business (working with the sheared fleece) alone.

I had so many plans, running arts and crafts workshops in the new barn area that I have created. Really promoting the shepherd hut rentals, doing vegan food, cakes and picnics, sanctuary events, alongside running the sanctuary and making rugs and weaving etc, upping my sheep experiences, as well as attending wool festivals.

I had to cease all plans as the pressure made me feel so overwhelmed and I decided to focus on just 1 area at a time otherwise I would end up ill.

I made the painful decision to downsize in animals, I found homes for my donkeys, alpacas and this year my goats, they went to truly wonderful homes, but it still hurts. Of course the main reason to downsize is a financial one as I am literally going to run out of money. But also because without my farm help there is no way I single handedly could manage them and my two old farm friends are getting older and there will come a time that they fully retire.

Another huge reason is, the rain has been non stop now for almost a year which means the grass growth has been massively affected. Its July and the grass should be lush, my fields are turning back to reeds its taken me 7 years of sheer hard work to pull back hard to manage land and in just over a year the reeds are back which means more work to control the land, I don't have the machinery or the skill to do this so it means employing contractors to do the work, but im up against it as the lands just to wet to get the tractors in

Sheeeeeesh I bet your thinking

Haha that's not even half of it

With possibly 20-25 acres of hard to manage land that is half the land I have.

Now with 280 sheep rescues, every year they get older means more care as many require special care and extra feed.

And I know that I need to focus literally just on sheep, yes im officially full to capacity but I will always take in a sheep that has nowhere if I cannot find them a home, but I am good at networking but again this takes a lot of my time.

I am preparing for worst case scenario and im working on the farm and house to pull it all together in case I need to sell up and go smaller, this does not mean I am quitting just that I need to protect my sheep as without the finances I cannot keep them.

Right now life is very painful with other personal problems and a feeling of being totally alone.

I am literally finding it difficult to keep going mentally physically and financially. So much so that for a few weeks I am going to close all social media and contact as I know myself and right now this is the lowest I have ever been. Running social media is difficult when your in a good place as you constantly face the keyboard warriors who want to hurt you. so when your in a dark place -Wow its unbearable as it does not take a lot to tip you

Im taking a break from all to try to protect my mental health

I have created this fundraiser just to try to help a little with hay supplies that will be arriving, if this rain ever stops and at least that will be one less thing to worry about

I know times are hard for all and I truly appreciate your support throughout the years

Hopefully when I return I will be better mentally and pick myself up enough to continue my purpose in life