Stand with Trisha in Her Legal Struggle

Hi, my name is Trisha. I am 55 years old and in desperate need of financial assistance.

When I was 22 years old, I married a narcissist and sociopath. At the time I did not know this as a young woman who was raised in a cult. However, I married the energy that was familiar to my upbringing. At the age of 26, I bravely told him I wanted a divorce. At that time, we had a 2-year-old boy and a 3-month girl.

My parents walked away from me initially as they did not believe in divorce due to their religious beliefs. So, I had little support. I also had no money. So, I didn’t see (at the time) how I could afford an attorney. I look back now knowing I could have gotten a second/third job or done something…anything to retain an attorney. I was naive and ignorant. I've had to try to forgive my younger self and I'm still not at that point.

He filed for divorce and told me we could do it together. When he brought me the divorce paperwork to be signed, it read that he would have primary custody of our children and I would have visitation. I would also have to pay child support. $125 per week.

I refused to sign it. In the end, he had me cornered in the dining room with his fist pulled back in a threatening stance. He began the mental abuse for three hours with me cornered until I finally gave in and signed the documentation.

And that was the biggest mistake of my life. I signed my death sentence.

Please know that I was not an addict. I've never used drugs. I rarely drank liquor. I was a good mom. I deeply loved my babies. He did this only to hurt me. If he couldn't control me anymore, he was going to hurt me in any way he could. And he did.

At that time, the OJ trial was all over the news. I was petrified of him. He’d come into my apartment at all hours of the night with threats and mental and emotional abuse. I was ignorant (I was raised in a cult and didn’t know what to do. They don’t teach women what to do in adult and dangerous situations. Just to give you an idea of my ignorance, I didn't know what a credit report was when I left my parent's home. I was raised to be a wife and nothing else. I was VERY naive and ignorant). Once he started to make it hard to see my children and he was getting more angry, I opted to leave Illinois and move to Texas to get away from him. I didn’t want to be another Nicole Simpson.

I would fly into town to see my children once a month. The last time I saw my children was when his abuse began happening in front of our children when I would drop them off. It was at this time; that my dad heard his screaming from inside his house to my dad’s car which was running and parked in the driveway. I returned to the car sobbing. My dad held me. My Dad then understood and apologized that he hadn’t been there for me. It was the last time I saw my babies. He moved away never informing me where they went. And he didn’t receive child support as I didn’t know where they were.

When my children were 18 and 16 years old, I finally found my daughter (16). She was afraid to tell her dad. He found out and I met with him on behalf of my daughter. He said my punishment for finding her was taking me to court for child support.

Looking back, I should have put the child support in a trust for my children. I did not. I take responsibility for that.

He just didn’t take me to court, he was cruel beyond measure. He was thrown out of court on 3 different occasions due to him being belligerent. And there are other things he did (which I don’t want to get into) which I have PTSD from. It’s only triggered when I must deal with him.

I was made to pay restitution. $109k which I paid off in full (attorneys and all) on October 22, 2022.

But during all that first year he kept taking me back to court once a month claiming I wasn’t paying. My attorney would show proof. The judge would dismiss. Then he’d take me to court again the following month. This went on from 2014-2015 until I asked the court to have my wages garnished so that he could no longer lie.

When I paid it off, I felt so free! He had told his family and our kids that I never paid. But my daughter saw the proof. She knew her father was a liar. In fact, she moved to Las Vegas to live with me and my youngest daughter for her Senior year and has remained ever since. My son believed his dad. And our relationship was almost non-existent for years. I don’t blame my son for this. My son has a tender heart and was manipulated his whole life.

Here’s where I need financial assistance…

October 2023, he filed against me again. He’s now asking for $62k of interest on the $109k. And in Illinois, he has a case.

I retained an attorney in October 2023. I paid $3k as a retainer. It was extremely difficult as I am on disability due to a car accident where I had 6 surgeries. I have an extensive injury to my spine. I had a fusion done on my spine (C5-C7) however a few months later they had to remove the fusion as we discovered I had a severe reaction to the titanium. Come to find out, Titanium is contaminated with nickel, and I am severely allergic to nickel. My neck is at high risk without the fusion, and I desperately need surgery to correct it but there is nothing that the medical field can do for me because all they have to assist me is titanium. In addition, when I had my second spine surgery, it triggered fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2020. This year I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. I live in chronic pain and feel as if my brain wants to collapse on itself whenever I have to use the left side of my brain. In addition, I have sciatica both in my lumbar and cervical.

In January 2024, we had our court date, and the judge dismissed the case. We were so happy to finally be done with this man who has taken so much from me. However, within 30 days he filed a Motion to Reconsider. In April we went back to court and the Judge listened to both sides. It took him until July 13 to make a ruling and he granted the Motion to Reconsider. Now we move into the next phase which is how much I will have to pay. With all these court dates, I owe my attorney more money than I can possibly pay. And with the upcoming court dates, legal fees are extensive.

To date, my children have zero relationship with their father. My daughter and I are very close. She’s one of my best friends. She has three children whom I am very close to. She lives about 15 minutes from me, and I see her and her family regularly. My son has come around. We have a great relationship now. He lives in Wisconsin and we hope he will move here where we all live.

I HAVE MY KIDS IN MY LIFE. I know I am so fortunate.

I have a relationship with my children and grandbabies. And I’m still fighting for my life against this man who is (undiagnosed) narcissist and has punished me my whole adult life because I left.

I need help. I don’t know what to do about this financial burden. I am setting my pride aside and hoping that I can get some help.

Thank you for understanding this is the short story of a very detailed long story of what happened and why I am here. If you are able to assist in any capacity, my deepest gratitude. 100% will obviously go to my legal fees.

Picture of me and my children 4 years ago.

(Left to right) Matt, Kortney, (the two children from that marriage) my daughter Shelby, and I.