Silicone Poisoning: Breast Implant Removal
Donation protected
(Photo taken in July before one of my many doctors appointments.)
I need help. I’m letting down my walls of pride & shame to ask for help for something that I’m so embarrassed to be dealing with. This is, essentially, all my fault — despite being guaranteed that everything was completely safe.
So many joints in my body ache — some mild, some severe. My hands are in a constant state of pain, numbness or tingling — some days, all three. Most days, my arms feel like they weigh 100lbs. Everything I eat (except for maybe 5 things) causes excruciating stomach pain. My jaw, eyes, sinuses & throat are always swollen & painful. Dizziness, blurry vision, sharp shooting chest pains & extreme light sensitivity have been my new normal. When I stand, my legs don’t always feel like they’re my own. When I wake up, I’m weak & shaky. As my movements become more coordinated, I can walk with ease, but I’m still barely able to perform standing hip exercises with my 90 year old patients. I’m only 33.
All because I chose to have breast augmentation 4 years ago.
I never got them to show them. Hardly anyone knows I had it done. I thought they would help with my crippling insecurities. They didn’t. They’ve only made my life hell.
When I wake up in the morning, I never know what I’ll feel like. Sometimes I can jump out of bed & feel great. Other times (9 times out of 10), I’m hunched my whole way to the bathroom, & it takes me an hour to look/feel somewhat normal. Walking helps — getting out of bed & actually walking helps more than anything. Getting moving. If you saw me at work, you’d have no idea the amount of pain & discomfort I was in. I push through until I collapse at the end of the day — most of the time, barely having enough energy to change out of my work clothes.
On the rare night that I feel functional after surviving a full day of work, I’ll go out with a friend or otherwise stay up late. I get a small taste of what it used to be like to feel normal. It then takes me two weeks to physically recover — my whole body will be so wracked with pain I swear I’m never socializing again. Anyone who knows me personally can attest to how many times I’ve texted to say “I just don’t feel good” when canceling plans I’d been so excited to make.
My medical history looks a lot like the closing credits of a movie. In the last three years I’ve seen an ENT, neurologist, gastrologist, rheumatologist, cardiologist — I’ve been in & out of the hospital dozens of times — I’ve had a spinal tap, MRIs of my head, jaw & neck. I’ve been on at least 5 rounds of different antibiotics for “chronic sinus infections.” I even had my dentist pull a perfectly healthy molar because at one point I swore my gum & jaw pain was coming from my teeth. If that helped, I was ready to have the rest of my molars pulled. (Spoiler alert — my jaw pain had nothing to do with my teeth. I was just so lost & desperate.) Three months ago, while driving, I started to lose feeling in my hands & then feet, arms & legs — I pulled over, called 911 & was taken to a hospital by ambulance, leaving my kids & car behind with my parents. I spent the next 4 hours in a wheelchair & didn’t regain full function in my legs for 3 days. Full feeling, took even longer. My hands are still not completely normal.
Several different primary care doctors have tested me for everything imaginable — initially having suspecting lymes disease or MS. Everything comes back normal. The only relief I get is mild, & is from copious amounts of NSAIDs or during more desperate times — steroids. The amount of inflammation in my body is unbelievable.
I take an ungodly amount of supplements & vitamins in a day, I avoid 95% of foods & I tan to keep my vitamin D levels up. I consume no less than 5,000mg of vitamin C daily. All of these combined keep me functioning enough to work. If I slack on even one of these things, I am eventually all but disabled. The implants are essentially attacking my immune system & creating reoccurring uncontrolled inflammatory responses within whatever system of mine it wants to attack next, so everything that I can do to boost my immune system is all that’s keeping me afloat.
I almost had to drop out of college because of debilitating symptoms. For over a week, I needed to be driven to school because my migraines & blurred vision were so severe that I couldn’t drive. I thought I was exhausted & in constant pain from being a college student, & working mother of three. I thought the brain fog & migraines were from studying my life away. As soon as I graduated, I just knew I’d feel better.
But I was wrong.
I had quickly & vaguely heard of breast implant illness through one of my many online searches for answers in between doctors visits — but I refused to believe it. I couldn’t bear the thought of giving my implants up — there just had to be another answer.
A few weeks ago, something happened that finally made me accept & admit that it’s been my implants causing all of my health issues. I’d had a huge “flare” of joint pain & painfully large, swollen lymph nodes on the left side of my armpit/neck/jaw...I’d been chewing ibuprofen like candy for two days, wondering what I’d done or eaten to cause the flare. I then noticed my left implant didn’t feel right. It had deflated by 30-40%. I just can’t deny this any longer. My implants are degrading inside my body & killing me slowly.
(Keep in mind — deflation or rupture does not have to happen in order for these to ruin your health. & saline is just as deadly as silicone — ALL implant shells are made of silicone.)
I’ve thought of every other option to fund explant surgery. I’ve been denied for every credit card I’ve applied for. I’ve been denied for care credit, & I’ve been denied at my bank for a personal loan. I have a small amount of money saved, but nowhere near what I need for implant removal. The money that I do have is just enough to make it through a week of lost work. I’m a brand new PTA grad & haven’t had my new job long enough to have accrued any paid leave. I’m lucky that they will even let me take a week off, unpaid. My boss is amazingly understanding & empathetic to her employee's physical & emotional needs. I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
I’ve found the surgeon I want to go to in Portland, Maine who not only removes both implants, but performs a complete capsulectomy to ensure all toxic tissue is eradicated from my body. He has the highest ratings I can find from any plastic surgeon in Maine for breast explantation. When I talked to the surgeon’s coordinator who performed my original surgery, she stated “no, he does not remove the capsule.” I quickly said goodbye. I need everything removed — possibly even lymph nodes depending on what everything looks like during surgery — or I’ll continue to be ill.
Please don’t take my word for any of this. Research Breast Implant Illness & you’ll have weeks worth of material to sift through. Maybe you’re dealing with mysterious health issues yourself & have had breast augmentation. The YouTube videos alone of women sharing their stories are incredibly eye opening & gut wrenching. Their videos have finally given me assurance & validation that I’m not crazy & I’m not alone. Please, please research more than I did before I made this deadly mistake. It’s absolutely unreal the damage that can be done to your body from heavy metals, toxins, mold, bacteria & fungus seeping into your system.
...so this is where I’m at. I’ve always felt that Go Fund Me was for people who had passed or have terminal illnesses. I feel extremely ashamed to be asking for help in this way, but I am desperate. I have three children to raise & I’m all but worthless most days. I can’t bear the thought of feeling like this for another hour, let alone month or year. If you don’t know me personally, please feel free to add me on Snapchat (@stangprobz) where I’d be more than happy to talk, update, & when I’m able to raise the funds to have this surgery, I’ll snap the entire pre op & post op healing process. I don’t want anyone to question my integrity or motives. I’m literally pleading for money to go under the knife for a lengthy & grueling procedure that will potentially & very realistically deform my body — just so I can get my life back. Thank you for your consideration. & thank you for taking the time to read my long winded story. ❤️
I need help. I’m letting down my walls of pride & shame to ask for help for something that I’m so embarrassed to be dealing with. This is, essentially, all my fault — despite being guaranteed that everything was completely safe.
So many joints in my body ache — some mild, some severe. My hands are in a constant state of pain, numbness or tingling — some days, all three. Most days, my arms feel like they weigh 100lbs. Everything I eat (except for maybe 5 things) causes excruciating stomach pain. My jaw, eyes, sinuses & throat are always swollen & painful. Dizziness, blurry vision, sharp shooting chest pains & extreme light sensitivity have been my new normal. When I stand, my legs don’t always feel like they’re my own. When I wake up, I’m weak & shaky. As my movements become more coordinated, I can walk with ease, but I’m still barely able to perform standing hip exercises with my 90 year old patients. I’m only 33.
All because I chose to have breast augmentation 4 years ago.
I never got them to show them. Hardly anyone knows I had it done. I thought they would help with my crippling insecurities. They didn’t. They’ve only made my life hell.
When I wake up in the morning, I never know what I’ll feel like. Sometimes I can jump out of bed & feel great. Other times (9 times out of 10), I’m hunched my whole way to the bathroom, & it takes me an hour to look/feel somewhat normal. Walking helps — getting out of bed & actually walking helps more than anything. Getting moving. If you saw me at work, you’d have no idea the amount of pain & discomfort I was in. I push through until I collapse at the end of the day — most of the time, barely having enough energy to change out of my work clothes.
On the rare night that I feel functional after surviving a full day of work, I’ll go out with a friend or otherwise stay up late. I get a small taste of what it used to be like to feel normal. It then takes me two weeks to physically recover — my whole body will be so wracked with pain I swear I’m never socializing again. Anyone who knows me personally can attest to how many times I’ve texted to say “I just don’t feel good” when canceling plans I’d been so excited to make.
My medical history looks a lot like the closing credits of a movie. In the last three years I’ve seen an ENT, neurologist, gastrologist, rheumatologist, cardiologist — I’ve been in & out of the hospital dozens of times — I’ve had a spinal tap, MRIs of my head, jaw & neck. I’ve been on at least 5 rounds of different antibiotics for “chronic sinus infections.” I even had my dentist pull a perfectly healthy molar because at one point I swore my gum & jaw pain was coming from my teeth. If that helped, I was ready to have the rest of my molars pulled. (Spoiler alert — my jaw pain had nothing to do with my teeth. I was just so lost & desperate.) Three months ago, while driving, I started to lose feeling in my hands & then feet, arms & legs — I pulled over, called 911 & was taken to a hospital by ambulance, leaving my kids & car behind with my parents. I spent the next 4 hours in a wheelchair & didn’t regain full function in my legs for 3 days. Full feeling, took even longer. My hands are still not completely normal.
Several different primary care doctors have tested me for everything imaginable — initially having suspecting lymes disease or MS. Everything comes back normal. The only relief I get is mild, & is from copious amounts of NSAIDs or during more desperate times — steroids. The amount of inflammation in my body is unbelievable.
I take an ungodly amount of supplements & vitamins in a day, I avoid 95% of foods & I tan to keep my vitamin D levels up. I consume no less than 5,000mg of vitamin C daily. All of these combined keep me functioning enough to work. If I slack on even one of these things, I am eventually all but disabled. The implants are essentially attacking my immune system & creating reoccurring uncontrolled inflammatory responses within whatever system of mine it wants to attack next, so everything that I can do to boost my immune system is all that’s keeping me afloat.
I almost had to drop out of college because of debilitating symptoms. For over a week, I needed to be driven to school because my migraines & blurred vision were so severe that I couldn’t drive. I thought I was exhausted & in constant pain from being a college student, & working mother of three. I thought the brain fog & migraines were from studying my life away. As soon as I graduated, I just knew I’d feel better.
But I was wrong.
I had quickly & vaguely heard of breast implant illness through one of my many online searches for answers in between doctors visits — but I refused to believe it. I couldn’t bear the thought of giving my implants up — there just had to be another answer.
A few weeks ago, something happened that finally made me accept & admit that it’s been my implants causing all of my health issues. I’d had a huge “flare” of joint pain & painfully large, swollen lymph nodes on the left side of my armpit/neck/jaw...I’d been chewing ibuprofen like candy for two days, wondering what I’d done or eaten to cause the flare. I then noticed my left implant didn’t feel right. It had deflated by 30-40%. I just can’t deny this any longer. My implants are degrading inside my body & killing me slowly.
(Keep in mind — deflation or rupture does not have to happen in order for these to ruin your health. & saline is just as deadly as silicone — ALL implant shells are made of silicone.)
I’ve thought of every other option to fund explant surgery. I’ve been denied for every credit card I’ve applied for. I’ve been denied for care credit, & I’ve been denied at my bank for a personal loan. I have a small amount of money saved, but nowhere near what I need for implant removal. The money that I do have is just enough to make it through a week of lost work. I’m a brand new PTA grad & haven’t had my new job long enough to have accrued any paid leave. I’m lucky that they will even let me take a week off, unpaid. My boss is amazingly understanding & empathetic to her employee's physical & emotional needs. I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
I’ve found the surgeon I want to go to in Portland, Maine who not only removes both implants, but performs a complete capsulectomy to ensure all toxic tissue is eradicated from my body. He has the highest ratings I can find from any plastic surgeon in Maine for breast explantation. When I talked to the surgeon’s coordinator who performed my original surgery, she stated “no, he does not remove the capsule.” I quickly said goodbye. I need everything removed — possibly even lymph nodes depending on what everything looks like during surgery — or I’ll continue to be ill.
Please don’t take my word for any of this. Research Breast Implant Illness & you’ll have weeks worth of material to sift through. Maybe you’re dealing with mysterious health issues yourself & have had breast augmentation. The YouTube videos alone of women sharing their stories are incredibly eye opening & gut wrenching. Their videos have finally given me assurance & validation that I’m not crazy & I’m not alone. Please, please research more than I did before I made this deadly mistake. It’s absolutely unreal the damage that can be done to your body from heavy metals, toxins, mold, bacteria & fungus seeping into your system.
...so this is where I’m at. I’ve always felt that Go Fund Me was for people who had passed or have terminal illnesses. I feel extremely ashamed to be asking for help in this way, but I am desperate. I have three children to raise & I’m all but worthless most days. I can’t bear the thought of feeling like this for another hour, let alone month or year. If you don’t know me personally, please feel free to add me on Snapchat (@stangprobz) where I’d be more than happy to talk, update, & when I’m able to raise the funds to have this surgery, I’ll snap the entire pre op & post op healing process. I don’t want anyone to question my integrity or motives. I’m literally pleading for money to go under the knife for a lengthy & grueling procedure that will potentially & very realistically deform my body — just so I can get my life back. Thank you for your consideration. & thank you for taking the time to read my long winded story. ❤️
Organizer
Crystal Navi
Organizer
Portland, ME