Star Studio Glass Bash - Save the Stylists

On the morning of December 27th, a clearly desperate and noodle-armed burglar attacked the House of Stars. After several limp-wristed attempts to smash through the front door...

the winded and clearly annoyed felon made for the back. There they found a lower-level challenge, the weaker, older, tempered glass. The triumphant trespasser, now encouraged by their achievement, stomped toward their bounty. Only to be thwarted yet again by Star Studio's crafty defenses. Our $40 Cash drawer. After finding that thieves' tools would have been helpful to bring on a theft and that their dainty fingers were no match for a literal steel box designed to keep thieves out, our villain makes a final attempt. In a flailing tantrum, we witness our trusty little lockbox mercilessly hurled to the floor. Failing yet again, our impotent intruder finally realizes that they can just pick the damn thing up and leave. Finally!

Our felonious adventurer escapes with their prize. A whopping $1200! Maybe now they can pay for that gym membership and stop skipping arm day. We can only hope!

So, now, you're wondering, how in the hell does a theft of a $1200 cash box equate to a $6500 problem? Well, since I love the sound of my own voice, even in my own head as I type, I'm delighted to elaborate!

Due to an egregious oversight on my part, our insurance policy does not cover the outside structures of the building as I don't own the building. But my lease clearly states that I am responsible for all such maintenance and repairs. So the cost of our shiny, new doors... yeah.

And our neighbors at Henderson Glass who so heroically made sure that we had new doors that very same day, deserve to be paid! Then there is all the money our stylists, Andrews and Elsa lost because they could not work that day. All our beautiful door signs created by Holliest Designs will have to be remade. Definitely had to compensate our favorite Ypsi minute man, Ernest. Who appeared at a moment's notice to clean up glass and tape up our back door so all of our awesome didn't leak out!

What I'm assuming is going to be a stupid big DTE bill, as our door was blasted wide open for hours in December. Then, the revenue and time I have lost dealing with this shitty situation for both Star Studio and our fellow businesses that endured vandalism at this idiot's hands. And finally, the GoFundMe fees.

So... there it is. If you have enjoyed my ability to craft an amusing tale from a hard day... if you have ever been impressed with our reputation for stellar business... if you have ever benefitted from any of our community service... or if your sense of justice just thinks this whole thing sucks... We could really use your help!

Whether this thing hits its goal or not, Andrews and Elsa get paid first! And, if we reach our goal, I'll pick a random donor and carve your initials in my hair and dye it your favorite color!!

Of course, If you'd rather have your hair be your favorite color, we'd love to have you in one of our chairs! You can book a consultation here!