Stuff Heath's Stocking for Christmas-Birthday Debt Relief

If you know me at all, you know I'm a verbose overthinker. Probably more so in moments like this that are vulnerable, awkward, and if I'm being honest tinged with a little shame (though I don't think it SHOULD be). So bear with me as I verbosely overexplain.

Short summary for those not inclined to read my novel:

This is a Christmas/Birthday fundraiser to try and cover some car repairs I need done with any extra going toward the $20K in debt I have that I can't seem to make headway with as a freelance artist.

Longer version:

Usually for my birthday (December 28) I just do one of those social media fundraisers and suggest that people donate to HAAM, The Health Alliance for Austin Musicians. This year for Christmas and my birthday, I decided to get shamelessly selfish and try a GoFundMe. The impetus being a 20K mountain of debt that I can't seem to make headway with due to interest and other factors and the fact that I need about $3000 worth of work done on my 2013 Toyota Prius. Luckily, it's not critical or urgent, but it is maintenance that needs to be done or it will only get worse and possibly turn into bigger things. Therefore I have set the goal at $3000 to at least cover the car repairs without adding to my debt, and also because asking for $23K seemed utterly ludicrous. I mean, hey, if there's some extremely wealthy person who wants to drop $23K, I won't say no. ZUCK? BEZOS? YOU WOULDN'T EVEN MISS IT, GUYS! If it somehow does go over the $3K, everything else will go directly to paying down my credit card debt.

Naturally, this is a very difficult ask for me that I feel very conflicted about and uncomfortable with but I sought advice from a trusted friend who thought I should go for it. For those who might be thinking "Wait a minute, didn't you just buy/spend money on [fill in the blank]" I don't blame you. I certainly don't live like a miser, but remember that what you see on social media is a tiny highlight reel of someone's life.

Most purchases I make are tax deductible career related things.

I haven't taken a vacation since 2019 when I finished 7 months singing on a cruise ship, debarked in Orlando and hit up all the theme parks for 6 days.

I pretty much never go out and do anything. If I'm not gigging, I'm holed up in my cave.

There was a point when dad died and the settlement from his estate almost totally wiped out my debt. Then, as life does, it threw me a huge curveball and I found myself in a position where I had to start all over which undid all that progress.

I spend most Christmases and birthdays by myself, either house/pet sitting or for other reasons totally my own choice, not because I have nowhere I could go so it's not meant as any kind of "woe is me" statement as it's completely my choice. Usually there are no Christmas and birthday presents at all. Again this is not meant to evoke pity, just to illustrate that in general I do generally live pretty lean and try not to ask for much, and being a very busy time of year mixed with my own voluntary isolation (usually house/pet sitting these days), that's just the way it ends up being. I must once again stress that I am never lonely or unhappy and that I know I am loved and have many places I *could* go, so I'm very lucky. I suppose this is all just me trying to justify asking for something for myself this year.

I also feel weird about this because people usually use these for much bigger, more important reasons. Medical bills, funerals, house fires, things we all hope we never encounter. So it feels a little weird to be like "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, I have a mountain of debt and car repairs." Some people can't afford a car. But I try not to compare and instead focus on the fact that regardless, this is my (very fortunate) life and where my journey is.

I also don't want to put any pressure on anyone at all. These are tough times for a lot of folks and lots of folks struggle just to provide a nice holiday for their family. If you find yourself in a position to throw a little something my way for the old dual Christmas/Birthday double whammy, I thank you. If not, I thank you for simply even reading this and for firing any neurons at all my way. No matter what happens with this GoFundMe I'm fortunate enough to know that I will be okay, one way or another. I always have been.

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"

-The Beatles "The End"