Support Anna Mulia and her family grieve
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Anna and her family have suffered two losses recently. Last week, Anna's grandmother on her dad's side passed away and this week Anna's mother died by suicide.
Unfortunately, Anna does not get time off for bereavement and is going without pay to help her family and mourn. Please help us raise money to cover funeral expenses and living expenses while Anna and her family go through this difficult time.
From Anna:
Out of respect for my father, I please ask that you do not try to contact him unless he reaches out to you. This is my way of coping, and I know that he is different. If you would like to give hope or love to him, my friends or I will pass it to him. But if you would take the time to read this, it would be very appreciated.
On Friday, the 25th of January 2019, she called me at my work and asked me to come over that night so we could mend our strained family. In the midst of such a complicated time, I told her I wasn't ready to come over, but I could later that weekend. She begged me to come, asking me to come over that night, and it scared me. So told her I could another time, she promised to make meatballs for me when I did come over, and I hurried her off the phone because I had to get back to work.
She said she was going to pick me up that day, but I couldn't reach her when I called. My boyfriend came to pick me up instead, and we searched the area for her car, hoping I would see her, with her big sunglasses and her three little dogs, waiting for me. We drove to my parents' home, and I couldn't find her. I called my father and he told me not to worry, that she probably had a meeting.
Hours passed, me texting her that we could have dinner the next day and asking where she was, and she didn't respond. When my father called me later that day, telling me he needed to talk to me in person, I knew. My mother parked her car on the side of the road, and jumped off the bridge. She never came to pick me up.
My mother had a lot of regrets and a lot of pain. My mom had a very difficult life that she tried to live to the fullest and battled mental illness for most of it.
My mother also loved jazz music, had the most extensive collection, and could hear the first few notes of any standard and know exactly what it was.
My mother had left notes in my lunchbox, with words of love and dumb little drawings that she would fully concede were not very good at all (but very sweet).
My mother loved my dad and would tell me all the time to find someone who made her laugh as much as my dad made her laugh.
My mother loved animals and absolutely COULD NOT listen to Sarah McLachlan and our house was always covered with cushions and blankets so the dogs could get up on the furniture without hurting their legs.
One of my mom's prized possessions was a paper I had written when I was around 9 years old that said "I love ME!" because all she wanted was for me to be happy and to love who I was.
Over this past year, I had really been making an effort to tell my parents how much I loved them, and for that I am grateful. This was in-part sparked by me binge-watching Game of Thrones for the first time and seeing how many words were left unsaid and how many tragic miscommunications there were and that shit was SAD. I started asking her for her recipes and asking what she would want if anything were to happen to her and how to take care of plants. I certainly had no clue this would happen, but I'm glad I asked those things in preparation because WINTER IS HERE. Winter is HERE for who knows how long, and I've got my dragonglass and spoiler Jaime on my side (finally) but I have no idea who I'm fighting. I'm frustrated I asked her about plants when I didn't get to ask her if she likes my wedding dress (probably not conservative enough) or if she likes my future child's name or what to do if I set the pan on fire or what to get her for her birthday which is the day after mine (bad timing) or if she likes my painting or thinks this selfie looks like I'm trying too hard (it does) or how to handle more pain than I've felt in my entire life. I'm in shock and I'm pissed and I'm sad and I'm feeling a level of emotions that I never thought my heart could hold, and words can't describe how much it fucking sucks because I'm not ready to say goodbye.
I'm not capable right now, and so I'm asking for help. Everyone has been so full of love, so kind, and so brave to share their own stories of loss with me, or to offer my family support and care. Anything helps, any words, any kindness. I can't express fully how grateful I am to everyone. I may not be able to respond, but I've read and will read every single word and it warms my heart. At the very least, please, please, please take time out of your day today to tell your loved ones how you feel. Please tell them you love them, tell them you're frustrated with them, please just be honest with them. Please let them see you truthfully and allow them to see you.
My mother was a very loving, very flawed, very beautiful, and very human woman.
She, like many of us, held the conflicting feelings of both loving and fearing the world, and loving and fearing herself. I love you dad. I love you mom. I forgive you. Thank you so much for being my parents.
Love,
Anna
Unfortunately, Anna does not get time off for bereavement and is going without pay to help her family and mourn. Please help us raise money to cover funeral expenses and living expenses while Anna and her family go through this difficult time.
From Anna:
Out of respect for my father, I please ask that you do not try to contact him unless he reaches out to you. This is my way of coping, and I know that he is different. If you would like to give hope or love to him, my friends or I will pass it to him. But if you would take the time to read this, it would be very appreciated.
On Friday, the 25th of January 2019, she called me at my work and asked me to come over that night so we could mend our strained family. In the midst of such a complicated time, I told her I wasn't ready to come over, but I could later that weekend. She begged me to come, asking me to come over that night, and it scared me. So told her I could another time, she promised to make meatballs for me when I did come over, and I hurried her off the phone because I had to get back to work.
She said she was going to pick me up that day, but I couldn't reach her when I called. My boyfriend came to pick me up instead, and we searched the area for her car, hoping I would see her, with her big sunglasses and her three little dogs, waiting for me. We drove to my parents' home, and I couldn't find her. I called my father and he told me not to worry, that she probably had a meeting.
Hours passed, me texting her that we could have dinner the next day and asking where she was, and she didn't respond. When my father called me later that day, telling me he needed to talk to me in person, I knew. My mother parked her car on the side of the road, and jumped off the bridge. She never came to pick me up.
My mother had a lot of regrets and a lot of pain. My mom had a very difficult life that she tried to live to the fullest and battled mental illness for most of it.
My mother also loved jazz music, had the most extensive collection, and could hear the first few notes of any standard and know exactly what it was.
My mother had left notes in my lunchbox, with words of love and dumb little drawings that she would fully concede were not very good at all (but very sweet).
My mother loved my dad and would tell me all the time to find someone who made her laugh as much as my dad made her laugh.
My mother loved animals and absolutely COULD NOT listen to Sarah McLachlan and our house was always covered with cushions and blankets so the dogs could get up on the furniture without hurting their legs.
One of my mom's prized possessions was a paper I had written when I was around 9 years old that said "I love ME!" because all she wanted was for me to be happy and to love who I was.
Over this past year, I had really been making an effort to tell my parents how much I loved them, and for that I am grateful. This was in-part sparked by me binge-watching Game of Thrones for the first time and seeing how many words were left unsaid and how many tragic miscommunications there were and that shit was SAD. I started asking her for her recipes and asking what she would want if anything were to happen to her and how to take care of plants. I certainly had no clue this would happen, but I'm glad I asked those things in preparation because WINTER IS HERE. Winter is HERE for who knows how long, and I've got my dragonglass and spoiler Jaime on my side (finally) but I have no idea who I'm fighting. I'm frustrated I asked her about plants when I didn't get to ask her if she likes my wedding dress (probably not conservative enough) or if she likes my future child's name or what to do if I set the pan on fire or what to get her for her birthday which is the day after mine (bad timing) or if she likes my painting or thinks this selfie looks like I'm trying too hard (it does) or how to handle more pain than I've felt in my entire life. I'm in shock and I'm pissed and I'm sad and I'm feeling a level of emotions that I never thought my heart could hold, and words can't describe how much it fucking sucks because I'm not ready to say goodbye.
I'm not capable right now, and so I'm asking for help. Everyone has been so full of love, so kind, and so brave to share their own stories of loss with me, or to offer my family support and care. Anything helps, any words, any kindness. I can't express fully how grateful I am to everyone. I may not be able to respond, but I've read and will read every single word and it warms my heart. At the very least, please, please, please take time out of your day today to tell your loved ones how you feel. Please tell them you love them, tell them you're frustrated with them, please just be honest with them. Please let them see you truthfully and allow them to see you.
My mother was a very loving, very flawed, very beautiful, and very human woman.
She, like many of us, held the conflicting feelings of both loving and fearing the world, and loving and fearing herself. I love you dad. I love you mom. I forgive you. Thank you so much for being my parents.
Love,
Anna
Fundraising team (2)
Maura Taylor
Organizer
Renton, WA
Anna Mulia
Beneficiary
Kimani Smalls
Team member