Support for Maddy (M.E, therapy & healthcare)
Donation protected
EDITED - I am now having to prioritise costs to my healthcare and therapy so my EP is getting put on hold. After recently discovering I have Parvovirus (haven't been given much information on it) which has damaged my liver to the point where I have lost over a stone in weight and am unable to afford therapies and supplements that have been recommended to me to take, I have decided to use the remainder of my target on this. Anything over will go to supporting other people that I am in contact with who are also struggling to receive support.
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This is something that comes very hard to ask as I know so many people are struggling right now. Asking for help is often not an easy thing to do, but I have recently realised that it is what I need to do. I am at the end of my health being able to continue in the way that it is. I have realised, thanks to the huge amount of encouragement I have received, that I am not in a position to support myself anymore due to my circumstances. I am now unable to work doing the care work I was previously doing due to the chronic illness I have and my mental health, so I am humbly asking beyond my immediate support for financial help.
Before I explain, I would like to say that I dont want anyone to put themselves in a difficult situation by helping me, and I will be grateful for any and all support I receive :)
TW (abuse) :
I got diagnosed with ME (chronic fatigue syndrome) when I was 14. I spent almost a year out of school, at which point I also got myself into a physically, sexually and emotionally abusive relationship with someone that was 5 years older than me. I was a child and that relationship has shaped every relationship and many friendships I have had since. That time among other experiences has meant I am now in a position of needing professional help in order to function, but I am unable to get it on the NHS. Waiting lists for therapy are at least 18 months and my Doctors have quite frankly been completely useless in helping me get any support over the past 3 months I have been trying. I won’t go into any details of the traumas I have experienced now, but I would like to explain where I am at now with what I have endured.
My illness (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-cfs/) means I have very low physical energy and my immune system is low. I have always just got on with it and been as independent as I can be and I have never asked for help before really, but since lockdown I have become so unwell that I cannot do the most basic things for myself. Most days, I don’t have the energy to cook for myself or clean my space or make my bed. It’s slowly got so bad that without the help of someone else, the only energy I have only goes on the projects I’m working on because they keep my mind alive and motivated. As well as my physical health, my mental state has been under extreme pressure for a long time. I often experience anxiety and depression and have also very recently been diagnosed with ADHD.
During lockdown, I experienced some extremely triggering things that meant I didn’t feel safe and a lot of past trauma was brought up. I have only just touched the surface in the past 2 years in dealing with the traumas I have been through throughout my life because I have never had enough resources around me to get the support that I need. Almost a decade on from some of the experiences and I feel like my body is more vulnerable than ever. It has got to the point where I am triggered by the smallest things, and my body turns to a state of complete anxiety and panic. My mental health has suffered so much, and with having ME, I have lost a lot of weight which means my energy levels are lessened even more.
My condition and circumstances has meant that being an independent artist (without much income due to my illness or a family that is able to support me financially) has been extremely difficult. I am definitely not the only one in this position, as it has become harder and harder for independent artists to survive in our industry due to how flawed the structure of the industry is when It comes to actually paying artists for their time and effort. I have made so much music that I am proud of, but haven’t been in a position to release any of it so far. I would really love to be able to release a project of my own and actually promote it and be able to create the art surrounding the concepts of the music with the creatives that are currently helping me for free.
I really need my strength back first to be able to create and work on these projects. I would like to feel safe again in my own body and to learn where my boundaries are with some professional help so I can stop getting myself in sticky situations with people that reinforce my insecurities and bad habits. And it turns out you can’t do that work without having money haha! I have barely any income beyond universal credit (which only just pays for my rent) so the amount that we are aiming to get is the minimum amount I need to support the following for the next 6 months until my tenancy runs out and I leave Brighton.
£1200 - Weekly therapy sessions (£50 a week)
£1800 - Rent costs that I am now unable to afford (£300 a month)
Physical therapy costs, supplements & medication costs
Thank you to my wonderful friends and family for encouraging me to do this and giving me so much support and strength during this process, you know who you are and I would not have been able to do this without you xxx
Photo by Alice Dellal
https://site.spinnup.com/maddymusicuk
----------
This is something that comes very hard to ask as I know so many people are struggling right now. Asking for help is often not an easy thing to do, but I have recently realised that it is what I need to do. I am at the end of my health being able to continue in the way that it is. I have realised, thanks to the huge amount of encouragement I have received, that I am not in a position to support myself anymore due to my circumstances. I am now unable to work doing the care work I was previously doing due to the chronic illness I have and my mental health, so I am humbly asking beyond my immediate support for financial help.
Before I explain, I would like to say that I dont want anyone to put themselves in a difficult situation by helping me, and I will be grateful for any and all support I receive :)
TW (abuse) :
I got diagnosed with ME (chronic fatigue syndrome) when I was 14. I spent almost a year out of school, at which point I also got myself into a physically, sexually and emotionally abusive relationship with someone that was 5 years older than me. I was a child and that relationship has shaped every relationship and many friendships I have had since. That time among other experiences has meant I am now in a position of needing professional help in order to function, but I am unable to get it on the NHS. Waiting lists for therapy are at least 18 months and my Doctors have quite frankly been completely useless in helping me get any support over the past 3 months I have been trying. I won’t go into any details of the traumas I have experienced now, but I would like to explain where I am at now with what I have endured.
My illness (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-cfs/) means I have very low physical energy and my immune system is low. I have always just got on with it and been as independent as I can be and I have never asked for help before really, but since lockdown I have become so unwell that I cannot do the most basic things for myself. Most days, I don’t have the energy to cook for myself or clean my space or make my bed. It’s slowly got so bad that without the help of someone else, the only energy I have only goes on the projects I’m working on because they keep my mind alive and motivated. As well as my physical health, my mental state has been under extreme pressure for a long time. I often experience anxiety and depression and have also very recently been diagnosed with ADHD.
During lockdown, I experienced some extremely triggering things that meant I didn’t feel safe and a lot of past trauma was brought up. I have only just touched the surface in the past 2 years in dealing with the traumas I have been through throughout my life because I have never had enough resources around me to get the support that I need. Almost a decade on from some of the experiences and I feel like my body is more vulnerable than ever. It has got to the point where I am triggered by the smallest things, and my body turns to a state of complete anxiety and panic. My mental health has suffered so much, and with having ME, I have lost a lot of weight which means my energy levels are lessened even more.
My condition and circumstances has meant that being an independent artist (without much income due to my illness or a family that is able to support me financially) has been extremely difficult. I am definitely not the only one in this position, as it has become harder and harder for independent artists to survive in our industry due to how flawed the structure of the industry is when It comes to actually paying artists for their time and effort. I have made so much music that I am proud of, but haven’t been in a position to release any of it so far. I would really love to be able to release a project of my own and actually promote it and be able to create the art surrounding the concepts of the music with the creatives that are currently helping me for free.
I really need my strength back first to be able to create and work on these projects. I would like to feel safe again in my own body and to learn where my boundaries are with some professional help so I can stop getting myself in sticky situations with people that reinforce my insecurities and bad habits. And it turns out you can’t do that work without having money haha! I have barely any income beyond universal credit (which only just pays for my rent) so the amount that we are aiming to get is the minimum amount I need to support the following for the next 6 months until my tenancy runs out and I leave Brighton.
£1200 - Weekly therapy sessions (£50 a week)
£1800 - Rent costs that I am now unable to afford (£300 a month)
Physical therapy costs, supplements & medication costs
Thank you to my wonderful friends and family for encouraging me to do this and giving me so much support and strength during this process, you know who you are and I would not have been able to do this without you xxx
Photo by Alice Dellal
https://site.spinnup.com/maddymusicuk
Organizer
Maddy Brodrick Brooks
Organizer
England