Support Melanie and Kristin's IVF Journey

Hi Friends and Family,

If you're reading this, then you probably know the journey we have been on trying to build our family. Also, if you're reading this, then you are someone deeply important to us and we feel safe being vulnerable and uncomfortable around you. Asking for money is deeply awkward for both of us and we are very humbled by our circumstances. Thank you for taking the time to consider donating to our IVF journey. We understand this is a big ask and our goal is high, but we will explain below all the details of our proposed treatment plan and how your contribution will help:

We knew growing our family would be a significant financial investment and would require some science, time, patience, and a donor willing to be part of our story. In 2022, we found our donor after several deep hearted and open conversations. We had Kristin's fertility assessed through our doctor at Kaiser, and once we felt ready and everything looked ok, we began medicated Intrauterine Inseminations in March of 2023 (IUIs - medications are taken to ovulate more than one egg, a trigger shot is given to force ovulation, and sperm is placed directly in the uterus bypassing the cervix and increasing chances of conception). Our IUI in March failed, but that was ok and kind of expected as the success rate is only 10 - 15% per cycle. We tried again in April and it worked! But sadly ended in a biochemical pregnancy, which means the embryo formed and implanted, but something was wrong and it ended in a miscarriage before it even really began. Again, this is fairly common, occurring in 50% of all IUI pregnancies and are usually chalked up to chromosomal abnormalities common in older women.

We tried another IUI in July but it didn't work. At this point, we switched tactics and began doing home inseminations with fresh sperm (we are so grateful to our donor and his partner for being willing to do this!). We were lucky to achieve a pregnancy in November 2023 but we sadly miscarried in December after an early ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat. This was a particularly devastating loss and one we never could have anticipated after hearing the heartbeat. The holidays passed and we regrouped. Our donor was on board for more home inseminations and we tried again in March and April of 2024. We got a positive pregnancy test in early May and were so excited! We were being monitored closely by our Nurse Practitioner at Kaiser and everything was looking good. But again, we were on the wrong side of statistics and miscarried that pregnancy as well. After three pregnancy losses, Kaiser allows you to test the embryo and recommends karyotype blood testing on the male and female to make sure each person's 46 chromosomes are in the right place. Genetic screening is also recommended. Our embryo's testing came back with three copies of chromosome 18, which is common in older eggs and sperm as both decline in quality with age. After getting a crash course in high school genetics, myself and our donor were found to have normal karyotypes. We are still awaiting some genetic testing results.

Our NP at Kaiser recommended we pursue In Vitro Fertilization at a clinic outside of Kaiser. With IVF, she explained, Kristin's eggs will be retrieved and then fertilized using a special process that selects for the healthiest looking sperm. The embryos created can then be tested to make sure they have the correct number of chromosomes, therefore greatly reducing miscarriage risk. The euploid, or "normal," embryo will then be transferred into the uterus giving us the best chance at a healthy pregnancy. This was scary for many reasons (eeeek needles!), but primarily because our insurance does not cover anything fertility related and at this point we had already spent over $10,000 for sperm banking, medicated IUI cycles, invasive testing, and bloodwork. The money we had saved for our family building process was gone without the baby we had been hoping for.

We spent the fall and winter of 2024 talking, grieving the unknown future, feeling a little lost, and grappling with big questions of "Is this just not meant to be? What if this future we had dreamed of doesn't happen? Will we be ok? Why is this our story? Is this where it ends?" We also took time to reconnect, laugh, and celebrate again after a year of loss and pain. After lots of careful conversations, we both agreed we aren't quite ready to give up yet. We are ready to be moms together, creating space for a whole new human being to know and love, adventure with, learn and create together with, and continue on the web of human connection with. We want to be part of a new person's life and raise them in a loving and supportive community. They already have so many aunties and uncles waiting for them, willing them here to Earth with us. We are strong enough to handle the hard parts and together we make the best team. Our family motto is: "Stronger and Better Together" and the past few years have really showed us how true that is. We feel ready to tackle the challenge of motherhood together and we'll need your help to get there.

Enter Spring Fertility Clinic in April 2025! We met with a doctor who gave us hope. She feels like we are the ideal candidates for IVF and we should be able to expect two to four euploid embryos after one egg retrieval cycle. We are only hoping for one child, so this should be enough to help us complete our goal of one healthy, living baby. The cost associated with this procedure is roughly $30,000 not including medications, which can be another $3,000 - $4,000 or unforeseen diagnostic procedures, routine ultrasounds, and bloodwork. We have been approved for a financing application of $15,000 but that is only half of what we need. We are trying to raise $20,000 to cover the rest. We are both planning to pick up extra work this summer to contribute to our bills and pay down credit card balances.

We very much appreciate any amount you can give to support our family, even if its just best wishes and holding onto the light for us when everything feels dark. That matters just as much to us. We find it uncomfortable to ask for money, especially given how many true tragedies and losses there are in the world right now. Our story is not one of dire need for survival, but rather one that seeks community support to build a dream and to bring a life to fruition that we are so excited to meet. We cannot wait to tell our child about the people who believed their life already had a purpose, who wanted to meet them, who rallied to bring them here. Our child will know your name, your story, your role in our lives and they will know how loved they are by you. You are building a connection, one thread at a time, and our child will be so lucky to enter this world already so wanted, so celebrated, and into the arms of a community and a family that has been waiting so long for them. Thank you for believing in us. No matter how this journey ends for us, we know that our life is full and happy and we are the luckiest people alive to have found each other and such an amazing community in you.