Support My Mom’s Trip To Spread Beloved Ashes

You know me. You know my story; but, if you don't, my name is Annika. I live in Missoula and am lucky enough to share this beautiful town with my amazing mother Helen Nemir who is a suicide loss survivor. I am launching this fundraiser to help her pay for travel to scatter my late brother's ashes in his favorite place. Our fundraising goal is $2,000 for my mother to safely travel to and from California.

Here is our Story: 

As someone who understands how fragile familial relationships can be, especially between mothers and daughters, I am all the more grateful to say that my mother and I are as thick as tree trunks (though our rings sometimes inevitably cross). Together we have traversed a seemingly impossible road of which neither of us were prepared. 

In 2019, my brother and her son, passed away of suicide on the 13th of January. Anders - if you knew him, I know you are endlessly grateful; if you didn't, you get to know him through us. 

My brother Anders was 6”4’ and every bit the gentle giant. As well as being incredibly talented and the funniest person I’ve ever met he was also my protector, my leader and my mind twin. He loved to draw, sing, play guitar, cook, play video games, make music, serve food, and most of all he loved to help people and make them laugh. He cared so much for those around him, always putting them first and perhaps in the end, to a fault. His favorite place was California- born and raised in Thousand Oaks - he was truly a sunshine boy. When we moved to Whitefish, Montana he tried his best to fit in, and of course he was amazing at skiing, hockey and other winter sports, but it was always clear he missed the sun and sea. He loved his family more than anything, this I know for certain. 

I miss him more every single day of my life and it never gets easier. 

This year on the fourth anniversary of my brother's passing, she knows it is the right time to travel to Anders’ favorite beach in Sandra Barbara, California. It is called the Thousand Step Beach and as a new young family our absolute favorite place to spend the morning or afternoon, sometimes the whole day. There were sand castles to build, crabs to be pinched by, seaweed to whip with and an endless amount of delicate sea shells to add to a collection we would keep forever. 

My brother and I traversed our mothers rare disease together, and because of this ongoing medical struggles (and intense financial obligations) this trip is a financial stretch. Throughout our childhood we visited many hospitals, doctors, went through many life altering surgeries and saw my mother still be as strong as the hero we knew her to be. I truly do not know how she did it. 

Honestly, I have also put my mother through hell. I am happy to tell my story at another time but this campaign is about her and I need help giving back. We would be endlessly grateful if you could help fund both her and Anders' journey. Anything helps but here is where your donation will be spent: 

- $500 flight to and from Montana

- $1,000 accommodations in Los Angeles, Ojai and Santa Barbra

- $500 food for the trip and transportation between these cities

- anything extra will be donated to Suffer Out Loud and organization in Bozeman, Montana dedicated to reducing Montana suicide rates and erasing the stigma around mental illness.

Each donation will receive a handmade card from me, Annika, and a sticker from our town of Missoula as a thank you ❤️

If you made it this far... wow... You really love me and I am so grateful for your support and helping to take care of my family. I know I am not always easy but who is. You know, grief is weird. If you can't donate, the fact that you are still reading means the world to me and I am endlessly grateful for your love, compassion, and open-heart. Thank you for reading and happy holidays to you and your loved ones!