Support Sara aka Smiles

Sara is a very dear friend of mine. She is 36 years young and was recently disgnoaed with stage 4 cancer. She has two young sons to also support during this trying time. Any donations would be appreciated to help support her in paying medical bills and supporting her little family during this time. Below is her story in her own words!

Got a little thing implanted in my chest for medicine today. I could go on and on about how much I hate the idea of a scar right there in clear sight.

It’s been hard to talk about.

It started in vanity… so pissed off about my leg swelling and how gross I felt in all my clothes, throwing tantrums and falling apart emotionally because summer is passing me by and I just want adventures of all things summer. It’s my happiness for a whole year squeezed into one little season.

I take full advantage of summer.

Not caring for the actual reason of swelling in my leg and not caring how dangerous it could and turned out to be for my health, behind the reason of swelling in my leg. A tumor in my pelvic blocking blood flow to it.

Now, instead of vanity and how much I hate the look of me with this illness - its will to live.

I’ll lose my hair,

I’ll scar my body,

I’ll watch my entire body change and see myself too rapidly age, ill take the medicine that I swore I never would “if” it ever happened to me because I know I can be healed by natural things… so sure nature and my body would fix any illness I have. It’s worked so far. But i had little to no knowledge on how to actually holistic heal me… I just talk a lot of shit I assume I know.

then I hear a doctor saying to me, we start chemo Thursday and gave me not even an option to say no. And when I asked why she didn’t ask if I wanted it and gave not any other option, I got quoted a “months” time to live…

Every thought crashed through my head.

My kids… my mark I’m supposed to leave, a will of all the things I haven’t even thought to plan.. not yet. We all know it’s borrowed time but when you think of an actual end date, it’s insanely different. flood gates opened.

I struggled with the “why’s” and the “what did I do to deserve this “ thoughts of rationalizing ,

At first I was a WRECK

I’ve had weaknesses i never had before, pain I never knew I could feel.. or would ever have to feel.

I’ll take it all, just to live.

I might have stage four cancer and chemo might wipe out my immune system and turn me into a person I’ve never been for 18 months. Down and out. But I will get through it, i know I will, because I’ve been given the humble lesson of having the gratitude to just be alive.

Who cares about my hair, or my swollen leg.

My sons will still have their mommy.

My mom will still have her daughter.

My brother and sister will still have a little sister … on the other side of this cancer I’ll been given.

There’s peace for me on the other side of cancer and chemo, I’ve been tired of holding myself accountable for always making sure I’m well put together before leaving my house anyways .

Life over looks, any day.

I can’t wait to find the humble lesson through this journey and what it will teach me, and most of all,

I look forward to the upgraded version of me after my body has made me take a break .. to reset, reflect, and find more of myself

and what GOD has planned for me to be,

I’ll find him even more in the calmness of being still and sitting with it, putting my trust in his know how of the journey and faith he will heal it, and without distraction.

But always with a lesson.

What a blessing to be worthy of having the almighty physician on my side.

How special I feel of the opportunity to make a plan that is direct orders from God. a timeout specifically for and with me. To sit in the garden of peace. . what an honor !

But first, I have to appreciate a life worth living.

The world makes me sad. A lot.

It’s hard for me. I’m disappointed easily by people and I have no capability of “oh well” mentality. I’m sad for people and the torment I feel from them. I’ve often thought how much better it would be if I could just get the fast pass and settle up in heavan and just watch from a far and wait on my people.

But I don’t want to leave, not yet.

Not without my babies being led in the right direction.

I TRUST THE LORD

Please pray for me and my healing

Btw : I already have a tattoo idea for the scar ❤️

Louisville, KY