Support Sarah's Legal Battle for Her Kids

Hey there, thank you for your kindness in stopping by. My name is Sarah. Whether we have been close over these past few years, or you have been an encouraging presence from afar, I thank you. Navigating the utter destruction of dismantling a family structure has been nothing short of the worst pain, heaviest heartbreak. I’ve kept very quiet regarding the details of my past marriage and much of the reason for its dissolution, but I cannot anymore. This letter is a request for help and a more detailed explanation of what has been going on.

At the moment, I am facing the seemingly insurmountable task of coming up with $7,500 for a retainer for yet again more legal services. Since September 2023, I have had the kids as their “primary” caretaker. Out of the utmost respect and sensitivity for his personal matters, I had chosen not to discuss the mental health struggles plaguing my ex husband. I see no way forward, however, without becoming more transparent as I desperately need help from my community near and far.

Last September, I received a call on a work trip from Jordan that he was not doing well and needed help with the kids. Since that moment, everything changed and I have turned my life upside-down to make sure my kids are safe. At this point, their father stopped everything to take care of his health (which I admire). He received two months paid leave from work, moved in with his parents, and began bipolar medication after a 20 year hiatus (because as he describes he was healed in a prayer service).

The fall was incredibly intense and required so much support from all around. Jordan was deep in a severe depressive episode with suicidal ideation, proceeded by months of manic-like behaviors. We came up with a plan in our Parent Coordinator Meetings to help Jordan be well and resume regular parenting time. This plan (in my own words and understanding) included directives which had already been ordered by the parent coordinator for Jordan to obtain a psychiatric evaluation, as well as coordinate care from the different professionals in his life. Jordan refused to receive a full psychiatric evaluation and his results have been "inconclusive". I have great concern to allow a return to shared custody until we have a thorough plan with specific steps including the necessary health care professionals.

Come December, Jordan discontinued his medication as he was told he "no longer has the disease". I am confused by these findings as it seems to be in contrast to the findings of others working with him, as well as the professional understanding that bipolar does not go away.

I continue to navigate co-parenting with a person diagnosed with bipolar disorder who also is struggling with other undiagnosed issues manifesting as something like paranoia, oppositional defiance, as well as other mood or personality disorders. Read this with a grain of salt as someone who has limited experience in the mental health world but in no way has any right or authority to give any diagnosis what-so-ever. The container of our court ordered parent coordinator has reached its limitation as Jordan has little to no regard for the authority it is granted.

After receiving an order late May to increase child support payments, Jordan chose to lawyer up and fight this decision. He also is trying to force going back to our original 50/50 parenting time. I find it significant that he has only chosen to force this now that money is involved. It is particularly painful to feel that someone you had dedicated more than a decade of your life to their wellbeing, career, success and children is now doing everything in his power to drain you of any stability.

To be clear, I am not wealthy. I am on medicaid (thank God, as I have had a number of medical concerns). I am still reeling from the $12,000 I spent on an attorney to get divorced while Jordan did everything in his power to confuse, delay, and complicate the process. That year I only made $21,000 and I am only okay due to the generosity of family and friends helping with car repairs, and other things.

It has been incredibly challenging since last September. I have been working full time trying to build my small business, launching a yoga teacher training program, leading retreats, and continuing in the three year trauma healing program I am enrolled in. All this while taking care of the kids full time, trying to support the father of my children who is battling significant mental health challenges and only receiving $187 a month of child support.

At this moment, I am rapidly trying to gather monetary support to hire a lawyer. I had just a little cash saved to fix the electrical at my house, as well as a take down a dead tree, but that will have to wait. The retainer to hire an attorney is $6,000 for the custody change, as well as $1,500 to defend the decision the referee made regarding child support. I no longer have faith that Jordan will follow any of the orders from the parent coordinator and this now needs to be taken in front of a judge.

Your support means the world to me. There is nothing I won't do to fight for the best possible outcome for my kids.