Support Sophie's Journey Through Grief

Hi all, Sophie (and Tasman) here,

As some of you already know, I have been struggling quite a bit since losing my partner, David, to a drug overdose almost 7 months ago now.

I was not present when he took the drugs that would end his life (as he was aware that I would not approve of him doing so). But I was present when he passed... and despite my attempts, I could not resuscitate him.

David and I had only been together for 6 weeks leading up to his death - in which we spent every available minute with each other - until the night leading up to his death that is...

Some people have sought to undermine both my feelings for David and the effect that his passing could have on my life due to the short nature of our relationship... all I can say is this has been the most difficult and painful experience of my life to date, and I hope that I never have to experience this type of pain ever again.

Previous to this, I had never really experienced death, and I am carrying a lot of trauma and grief that I have been struggling to face and process. With the grief and trauma, I have also experienced a lot of guilt for having not been able to save him, as well as anger that he left me the way that he did (although I know this was not his intention).

Since David's death, I have found that I am extremely reactionary and can go from 0-100% with very little consideration for others... I lack tolerance, yet require so much from those around me. Thank you and sorry to those that have had to bear the brunt of this... I appreciate every bit of care, patience, and understanding that I have so far been afforded and I can appreciate that this is now wearing thin for some.

Since David's death, I have been unable to hold down any sort of employment and am experiencing quite severe financial hardship after waiting 6 weeks for government benefits and receiving no back pay for this time.

After much avoidance and dissociation, I am now ready to start dealing with my trauma and grief. It is with incredible discomfort that I am asking if any Facebook friends can help me pull together $450.00 so I can take part in a Loss & Grief Support Group that runs for 6 weeks commencing on the 1st of May. As they only allow 5 participants per group, I am eager (yet too poor) to secure myself a position in this support group and would appreciate any assistance in helping me to do so.

I hope that everyone out there is coping with their struggles in healthy and constructive ways, and I appreciate that many of you are experiencing the same kind of financial hardship - times are tough!

Sending out love and appreciation to all xoxo