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I honestly debated on posting this online, but I have to put my pride to the side. I’m trying to be as positive as I can be at this time. As we all know, life is full of challenges, obstacles, and problems. When we come face to face with those challenges, life is teaching us how to live with them and how to triumph over them. Is up to each and one of us to come overcome them or to easily give up in front of those challenges. That no matter how many times we get knocked down off our feet, lift your head, stand up, don’t take a step back to even gain momentum, and keep moving forward. Never lose hope, seek help when needed, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Reached up because there’s always someone lending you a hand. I know is easier said than done, but we must find the motivation to keep moving forward.

I've faced many tough challenges and overcome them. One of those challenges was when I fractured my spine due to a car accident. The police department where I was employed, were not able to accommodate me. I was placed on a leave without pay status, after exhausting all of my leave. The mother of my children and I, agreed that I will take full responsibility to provide for our children. While she stays at home and takes care of the children. As the sole provider, losing my income was devastating. As a stubborn Marine that I am, I put my daughter's first, went against medical advice, suck up the unbearable pain, and seek a temporary job to provide for them. Many officers thought that was the end of my career as a police officer. After six months, I returned to duty and kept moving forward. This is one of those obstacles that polished me and helped me become the man that I am today.

Early on February 2018, I had an episode where I lost consciousness and this is where it all began. Concerned for my health, I seek medical help and later on was diagnosed with a brain cavernoma. I did not have room for denial or sorrow, I accepted it and proceeded from there. Throughout the year, I had multiple events were I’ve lost consciousness. Not only was I getting worse, but my condition was causing a lot of emotional suffering to my children. They’ll see me unresponsive on the ground, thinking if I was dying or what was going on with me. After regaining consciousness surrounded by medical personnel. The only thing I could think of, are my daughters ok. Before being taken away by ambulance, I will always remember the tears running down their small faces, devastating me even more. On August 10, 2018 the most unpredictable thing happened. I lost consciousness while driving at 75 mph. I crashed in front of two crosses ( I could've been the third cross) the shoulder of the road, thankfully I was the only vehicle involved and did not suffered major injuries. After consulting with a neurosurgeon, he suggested me to undergo brain surgery, due to the major bleeding in the brain. I did not only asked for a second opinion, but consulted with four different neurosurgeons. All four neurosurgeons, recommended me to undergo surgery before things get worse.

On 25 November 2019, I will be facing my most emotional and difficult challenge of my life. It will be the day of my surgery. I have asked the doctor to not sugar coat anything and to inform me, what things could go wrong during surgery. Due to the location of the cavernoma, I could have speech impairment, succumb into a comma, or the possibility of dying. Just the thought of succumbing into a comma or the possibility of dying, puts me against the wall. The thoughts of me not knowing if I'll wake up after the procedure or who knows when, is nerve wrecking. Looking back in time during the crucible, mount motherf***** is child's play compare to this. I still don’t know how I am going to tell my daughters about the surgery and the risks behind it. They only know that I'm going to be at the doctor. A feeling that I haven’t felt for a long time is there, fear. Is not the fear of dying but the fear of not being able to raise my daughters. Loosing the future that I want to give them, is way scarier than I could ever imagine. As I hope for the best, I'm prepared for the worse. This time I cannot do what I did before. For the next couple of months all I can do is recover. I'm humbling asking for your help and to help offset the financial burden and upcoming medical bills. Any amount you'll donate will be greatly appreciated. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your time and God bless.

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