Support Vaela's Final Step in Her Transition

Hey, fellow travelers! Firstly, let me introduce myself. My name is Vaela (Vay-lah). I have three wonderful children, and have been married to my beauty-beyond-words wife for a little over 12 years. Our story is slightly different from most. For the first 8 and half years of our marriage, I was her husband. For the last three and a half years, I have been her wife.

A child of the early 90s, my gender dysphoria was quickly buried under heavy layers of forced denial and a good helping of religious indoctrination. I knew from my earliest memory that I should have been born female; my persistent denial through the years only pushed me closer to the edge of ending my life. I did everything right, in the sense of what was supposed to fulfill me: I married a beautiful, loving woman; we had incredible kids. And yet as the years passed, I only found myself detaching from my life more and more. My wife and kids got the worst of me: a neglectful, anger filled shell. I was unrecognizable to myself and truly had no hope left. Finally the day came where I was faced with a very real truth: either I was going to take my life, selfishly leaving my family behind; or I was going to finally start living it.

I'm happy to say I chose life! I've been on my journey of transitioning from male to female for a little over three and a half years. I've gone from a miserable and neglectful father to a loving and present Ama (Ama means mother in Tolkien's Elvish... I am a nerd, what can I say? haha) The same is true of my relationship with my wife. I am finally present, excited to build a future together.

Since the beginning of my transition, my aim has been to be as complete as possible. And so I understood that most likely four gender affirming surgeries would be needed: upper portion facial feminization surgery, lower portion facial feminization surgery, breast augmentation, and vaginoplasty. A miracle happened in 2023 and three of my surgeries were done (both ffs portions and breast augmentation), with my work paying me fmla while I was gone. I have since had to drop to part time, now watching our kids full time as my wife rocks it as a small business owner. I was informed last week that the time I need off from work is approved, but due to my part time status I will not be getting any kind of pay while on my 12 week leave.

I never ask for help if I can find a way to make it work. But this is one of those times where I don't have an answer for how I can make up that money, especially since my final surgery is all-consuming for most of the leave. Although the final surgery is covered by insurance, the several mandatory hair removal sessions for my final surgery has drained me of all additional money that I could have used to give us a nest egg. I am simply needing some wage replenishment while I am recovering for those 12 weeks.

This journey has been 33 years in the making. With your help, I can finally get across the finish line!