Supporting Ben and Cate Barney
I’m sure anyone who has met Ben and Cate has seen their love, joy and deep faith. Their loving community has supported them through many difficulties and challenges, and friends and family have been reaching out to ask how they can help now.
As Ben’s sister, I wanted to give everyone a way to support Ben and Cate’s immediate financial needs and take some of the burden of sharing this story from them during this hard time.
Here’s what Cate shared earlier today:
"Our sweet Eowyn Rose is with Jesus now.
Stillborn January 3rd at 1:52am, 2lbs 10oz.
Keep us in your prayers. We don't know why she is gone but we praise God for the time we had with this precious little life.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. He is still good."
Ben and Cate have been so grateful for the support and care of their co-workers at Trader Joe's and so glad they've been able to cover the costs of the tests and consultations so far with the insurance their work provides.
Their pastor has been working with a local funeral home and their church will cover all of these expenses as they plan the memorial service for this weekend.
We know Cate hasn’t worked at her job long enough to qualify for paid leave for the time she’ll need off to recover. We know more medical bills will be coming from the specialty hospital care, labor and delivery.
At this point they’ve only asked for help to cover their loss of income as they grieve and recover, especially for Cate. I expect we may need to increase this fundraiser if we learn of other costs.
I will share updates for the memorial service details and other ways we can support them.
Wynnie’s Delivery
Ben and Cate named their daughter Eowyn Rose, for the shieldmaiden from Lord of the Rings who fought the hardest battles where others gave up hope. Though everyone has been calling her Wynnie, since that full name is a bit of a mouthful.
Ben and Cate have been loving, hoping and praying for this child for years. The progress of Cate’s pregnancy was full of great joys early in the summer, but more questions and fears through the fall and holiday season as doctors discovered more complications. Wynnie's growth was limited by these issues in the last stages of her development.
Coming into Wynnie’s delivery, Ben and Cate knew the prognosis was not good, but they looked forward to meeting their daughter and knew they would treasure as much time with her as they could get. When Wynnie was delivered stillborn she had beautiful dark brown curls like her father and a lovely tiny nose that looked much like her mother.
Ben and Cate had a full team of wonderful nurses and doctors helping guide them through induced labor starting at 7:30am on January 2nd:
After a long day of slow stages of labor, they settled in to rest overnight as contractions seemed to plateau and sent all of the family members waiting with them home to rest. We all started getting calls a little after 1am that the process had changed - Cate had moved ahead to the final stages. It continued to accelerate: they said it only took three pushes for Cate to deliver Wynnie.
Immediate Needs
Ben and Cate are home resting now and we’re glad that Cate came through the delivery without further complications for her. The cost of many tests and consultations they went through this fall have eaten into their reserves already. Cate hasn’t worked at Trader Joe’s long enough to have paid disability leave to cover the time off work she’ll need to recover and grieve.
With their savings depleted, they don’t know how heavy the medical bills to come will be or how they’ll cover those. Whatever you are able to give would be much appreciated. Please feel free to reach out to me personally if you can’t contribute financially but want to find another way to help.
Their story
Ben and Cate have built their lives around their commitment to serving the families of their church, Iglesia Evangelica Bautista de Nueva Jerusalén (New Jerusalem Evangelical Baptist Church), where they met. Ben has been the youth pastor there for many years and Cate has served in sports ministry, as a mentor, and in many more ways. 
They have both prioritized jobs that offer flexibility so they can be there for others and invested in their own education so they can teach and serve with deeper knowledge of the Bible. All of these choices have involved sacrifices, yet they’ve always done so with a cheerful heart. 
We’ve always known Ben and Cate will be wonderful parents. Several years ago, when they received the hard news that Cate carries a genetic disorder, Cate reached out to her family and closest friends for support, knowing this could mean difficult times ahead. In 2016, Ben and Cate were heartbroken to lose her first pregnancy due to complications from this disorder.
I’ve included the information Cate has shared with friends below to make sure I don’t get anything wrong about the specific medical conditions affecting Wynnie.
This year
We were so happy this year when Ben and Cate learned she was expecting again. The doctor’s appointments early in the summer were full of encouraging news. Even with her genetic disorder, in June their doctor estimated with such a strong heartbeat there was a less than 10% chance of losing this child due to miscarriage.
In August, they were ready to share their joyful news with everyone:
"Thank you all so much for your love and kind words regarding our little baby! I have been praying for this little one since we lost our first baby in late 2016. God has been so faithful to me in the last couple years and we are praising Him for giving us this most precious gift now!! I am 19 weeks tomorrow and the due date is January 17. I can't believe we are almost halfway! Thank you to those who have been praying for our baby and will continue to do so. Our God is great and prayer works. Praise God for this most wonderful gift and thank you all for sharing in our excitement!!! To God be the glory!"
Difficult News
Over Labor Day weekend, their newest scans started to pick up unforeseen complications. They were transferred to a “High Risk” pregnancy program with a team of specialists at NorthShore Hospital in Evanston.
By mid September, Cate was ready to share what they’d learned with friends:
"Dear friends, we ask for your prayers. If you do not have time to read this long post, I just ask that you pray for the health and safety of our little girl. The last three weeks have been among the most difficult of my life as we have been learning more and more scary information regarding the development of our daughter.
As short background, I am a carrier of a genetic disorder. This condition is what caused me to have my one miscarriage almost 2 years ago and is also causing so many issues with our little girl. Three weeks ago, the doctor found some concerning abnormalities in our baby's development and I was transferred to a high risk pregnancy program at a nearby hospital.
Through a series of appointments in the last 3 weeks, this is what we have learned: I am 23 weeks 1 day pregnant and the baby is 2 or more weeks too small. This is due to the chromosome disorder not allowing her cells to form as they should. As long as she continues to grow at her slower rate this should not be harmful for her. She has clubbed feet (her feet are turned inward and upward) and maybe deformed hands as well.
This should not be harmful for her and it does not cause her any pain (praise God for that). She has a hole in her heart and her right valve (along with a couple other parts of her heart) are too small. This shouldn't be dangerous for her until she is born and then she may need to have open-heart surgery.
Finally, the real concerning news. Due to this genetic disorder, she has a brain condition called Holoprosencephaly which means that her brain is not divided into left and right sides. This condition affects how and even if all of her organs work. The doctor said we will learn more as she gets bigger but he can tell from this early stage that she has a more severe case of holoprosencephaly.
Because of this, there is a good chance she will not live. It's possible I could miscarry her before her due date in January, or she could be a still birth or she could die hours after birth. It is still possible that she will live after birth, she would just have some form of mental retardation.
Ben and I already love and will continue to love our little girl no matter what mental and physical issues she may have. She is a precious and beautiful gift from God. We just want her to live.
To close this up, we ask for your prayers. We have a great God. We believe God is in complete control of our precious daughter's life.
I cannot begin to express how much we want our daughter to live but in this experience we pray that His will be done and He be glorified above all else. I also ask that you pray for continued strength for Ben and I as these weeks have been beyond difficult, especially for me.
To those of you who have already been praying with us, thank you for your continued prayers, love and support."
Learning More
Cate celebrated her 25th birthday at the end of September, then went back for further scans early in October. Through more testing, they learned how her genetic condition was affecting the pregnancy and the growth of their little girl in her womb.
Here’s what Cate shared later in October:
"We had a long baby appointment today and here's what we now know. She has 2 holes in her heart, one bigger, which will probably not heal on its own, and a slightly smaller one in the thicker muscle which may heal on its own. Either way, she will need open heart surgery between 3-6 months of age. Holoprosencephaly is already a severe diagnosis. From the MRI we learned she has semilobar holoprosencephaly.
This means it is midrange in severety. She was 2 weeks too small, she is now about 3 weeks too small as I'm 26w4d and she measures at 22w5d. This is very concerning to the doctor. The placenta has been affected by the genetic disorder and is not functioning correctly which is why she is not growing as she should be. Because of her brain condition and lack of growth there is great concern as to whether she will even make it to birth.
We discussed doing non-stress tests on her to see whether or not she should come out early via C-section but we decided that, in her case, getting her out early would not save her life and doing a C-section could affect my health and the health of future pregnancies. We've decided the best thing is to keep her where she is until her due date and just pray she makes it that long.
Today was the first time the doctors talked about her as a baby with trisomy 13 (a baby with an extra chromosome 13) and how that will affect her after birth. If she makes it until birth, she only has 20% chance of living through her first year. Due to her semilobar holoprosencephaly, she will likely struggle with seizures and will have trouble breathing and eating/sucking on her own. In that first year she would also need to have open heart surgery to repair 2 holes which is dangerous for a baby already struggling with all of this.
Tonight my hopes are not high and my heart is very heavy. If she fails to grow as she already has and while also dealing with semilobar holoprosencephaly she will likely die before birth. If she lives to birth, she has an 80% chance of dying soon after due to her trisomy 13. If she makes it to 6 months, she needs a surgery dangerous to a baby who is dealing with the rest of this.
For those of you asking, thank you and I'm not ok. I only want my baby girl to live but the possibility of death is everywhere and is far too probable. We won't be giving her a permanent name until she's born, but we've nicknamed her Eowyn. I call her Wynnie.
Pray for her. Pray for us all.
Matthew 11:28-30"
Holidays and Difficult Decisions
Over the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, more tests and meetings with doctors also brought more hard choices as they tried to determine whether an early C-section would give this baby a better chance of survival.
After several meetings, their specialists decided they didn’t want to add premature birth to the challenges the baby would face or put Cate at risk for a more difficult delivery. We are so grateful they made it through without losing this little girl along the way.
Here’s Cate’s last post before the new year:
"Another baby appointment another opportunity to hear her heartbeat. ❤ Our Eowyn is now 5w2d too small but is still growing. Because of her growth rate, the doctors are still concerned whether or not she will make it to her due date.
Thank you all who have prayed for us recently. We know, despite how incredibly difficult it is for us, God is in this situation and He is good.
We are praising God for our little blessing while we have her."
