Supporting Erin & Evie in life after Ross

Hello, my name is Ellie and I have created this page in support of a best friend of over 20 years, the late Ross Smith who at 37 lost his battle with MND in November. Ross married the love of his life Erin Valentine 2 years ago, and along with her daughter Evie (11), they are both now grieving and experiencing compounding financial pressure, which is adding to grief. I have not set a “target” as I believe that those who feel called to contribute should not feel a sense of pressure about how much is required. Instead I will talk about the types of financial challenges that Erin and Evie are facing and some of their future goals.

Ross grew up in country Victoria, he was an excellent listener, loyal friend and generous in spirit and actions. He was a talented self-taught musician in guitar and piano, not to mention a beautifully poetic writer. He was an active, highly motivated and skilled gardener running his small business, with his personal garden as a little family sanctuary. Unfortunately six months after getting married, he was diagnosed with a terminal form of Motor Neuron Disease, that progressed far more rapidly than any of us could have imagined. This resulted in Ross having to cease work abruptly and facing an endless amount of highly expensive medical interventions, home aids and personal care. MND Victoria generously assisted with a number of items, however as the primary income earner for the household, this has left Erin and Evie in a challenging situation. Although Ross worked very hard his entire adult life, unfortunately ongoing health issues, significantly impacted his ability to leave his loved ones with the financial security he would have desired. Prior to Ross’ MND diagnosis he had been treated and was in remission for bowel cancer, yet he never let these challenges slow him down for too long.

Erin is a charismatic and highly intelligent maternal child health nurse. She and Ross share many of the same qualities including kindness, a great sense of humour and an adventurous spirit. Erin is an incredible mother to her darling daughter Evie, she is resilient and determined but nothing could prepare her for losing her beloved companion of 8 years before age 40. Erin, naturally has been significantly impacted by grief since Ross’ diagnosis, resulting in ceasing work to provide increased care to her husband and manage her own health. Erin is not in a position to return to work any time in the short-medium term, as navigating this loss will take time and she is committed to ensuring that Evie feels supported in this process. The impacts of this are that Erin and Evie will eventually need to leave the place they called home with Ross, as it’s not financially viable for them to remain there, this displacement will add further complexities to their grief processing. Erin does not currently have an income, however expenses have not stopped coming in and include; school uniform, books, orthodontist and psychologist appointments. These are just some of the considerations, however larger things will include relocation and accommodation expenses. Erin has shared with me that a goal she has, is for her and Evie to be able to take Ross’ ashes to the resting place of his late mother Lyn, in England (who Ross lost to bowel cancer when he was 25). The intention that I have set for this page, is that it will run until Erin is well enough to return to paid work and meet her and Evie’s costs of living, however this may be subject to change pending public response.

Finally but not least, I will share with you a bit about Evie. She is incredible. I remember first meeting her, she was about 5-6y.o and enjoyed wandering around in my high heels, which were far too big for her, so adorable. From a young age she has always been very perceptive, intelligent and has a contagious laugh. When I would visit (from Tasmania) I’d usually try to rope her into cooking with me, and fortunately for me she usually agreed. Evie has overcome many challenges in her young life and displays a grit and determination that I believe will see her thrive in the years ahead. She is great at netball, has fantastic style in decorating her room and loves horror films. Watching Evie thoughtfully pour drinks for Ross as his mobility decreased or play chaises in the backyard with him in his motorized wheelchair are moments of pure love and kindness I’ll always remember. Young people are often our greatest teachers.

With that said I wish each of you a safe blessed Christmas and a happy new year. Love and blessing from El.