Asking for Support: My Top Surgery

As for so many of us, the last two years of the pandemic have unsettled some of the secure ground I stood on before it, in hard ways and in beautiful ways: in addition to the general uncertainty of the pandemic, the last two years have also been the years in which I have come out as trans and have transitioned, finally claiming some certainty and rightness in my body. I have saved and spent money, and time, and energy, researching, waiting for, and finally accessing (some of) the forms of gender-affirming healthcare that I need to feel healthy and well in my body.

All of this time, I have been saving most of all for top surgery, a gender-affirming surgery that would allow me to regain a sense of autonomy and rightness in my body that has eluded me since I began going through puberty at ten years old. For those who are unfamiliar, a “top surgery” is somewhat similar to the process of a double mastectomy, a surgical chest reconstruction that requires a minimum of 6 weeks’ inactive recovery time following the operation. After getting on multiple waitlists for surgeons who would be able to see me several years in the future, I found a surgeon in Miami, Florida who was able to get me on the books for a surgery in early April of this year. He’s one of the best, and I’ve already felt more cared for by him and his staff than I have by many other doctors I’ve seen in the last few years. He is, however, out-of-network and, obviously, out-of-state.

Ellie and I had hopes that our insurance would be able to reimburse at least some small fraction of the overall cost of the surgery. In the last few weeks, though, I have suddenly found myself on unpaid medical leave from my job as a public school teacher due to a worsening chronic spinal condition, halting my income for the foreseeable future. Last week we also learned that our health insurance wouldn’t cover nearly as much of the surgery as we’d hoped--hardly any of it at all--much less the associated recovery costs. My savings will now be both my only source of income and the primary funds to pay for the surgery. We seriously considered canceling this surgery because of the cost. But, at the gentle insistence of both my beautiful partner and my wonderful friends, I have decided to try something new: reaching out to my community to ask for support for a procedure that will enable me to live fully as myself.

I’m asking for your support in securing the funds needed to help us cover both the surgery costs and the auxiliary costs for recovery and continued treatment. I am also committing now to incrementally donating every dollar that is donated to my top surgery fund back to organizations working to support and protect the lives and wellbeing of trans youth–as soon as I am back on my feet and have regained income. I would like to donate some of the funds to the Trevor Project, the largest organization in this country working to provide crisis and suicide prevention for trans youth. I am flexible and open to suggestions of other organizations where this money can be redistributed in the future!

I am humbled and grateful for any amount you are able to donate (multiple people donating $5 adds up!) and will share on my Instagram story other non-monetary contributions that could be helpful to us at this time. One thing that I’ve learned in the last few years is that we’ve forgotten how much we really do need one another, how none of us should have to do things all on our own, how it really was always supposed to take a village. I’m grateful to my village, and grateful to have you in it.

With love, gratitude, and joy,

Liz