iya’s survival & transition fund

PLEASE READ THIS IN FULL. PHOTOS + RECEIPTS BELOW.

 

hi, my name is iya, they/he pronouns. i am a black trans artist based in brooklyn, ny. i  currently cannot go to school because i am unable to afford it with bills, and a business that is barely keeping afloat. i have applied to many jobs, grants, and scholarships, and i am still continuing on that journey. but under all of this stress and struggling to keep it all together, i have become sleep deprived, depressed, s*icidal, and having feelings of uncertainty. after searching far and wide for a year, i finally found a black therapist—for a few months, that is.  unfortunately, after quitting my job and mentioning my financial concerns, i was dropped by my therapist after just a few months with her because i can no longer afford it. i am barely living off of my own art sales, but those sales also need to go towards manufacturing and shipping 90% of the time. before i moved to the city, knew i needed a reason to be here— so i transferred to a new school. i wanted a change of pace, a new environment where i could feel accepted. over the course of these few months, ive met amazing people who have helped me come to a conclusion for my next chapter: transitioning. after being accepted to sva, i discovered that i cannot afford tuition, even with the financial aid i received (that i now cannot use). im forced to take a year off with no classes, and it has made me miserable. part of me feels like i let myself down— and others around me. at the  moment, im not sure how to feel other than embarrassed and a little helpless. my mental health has been declining after quitting my racist job, i have been dysphoric and unsure if im ready for my journey to transition, and if i even deserve to transition. despite that, it’s a definite want. i want to make sure i always have food in my cabinet, i want to pay bills, i want gender affirming clothes, i want to get rid of my breasts, i want to begin my transition and stop feeling the way i feel about myself whenever i look in a mirror, i want to be happy and make people question my gender— i don’t want to hear “miss” or “sis” anymore. i want to make sure that i can also help others and myself. my friends and family do not have a clue what’s going on with me, and going through with this AGAIN feels bad enough. i truly feel like i am hanging by a thread, and i just want access to the medication and healing that i know i deserve. at therapy,  i unpacked so much that me and my therapist were piecing together, and the sudden pause has fucked me up terribly. i have ADHD, and my previous work environment did not care about that— i was slower than others and it took me a bit to learn, but i know i was hard working. i wouldn’t have quit if i was about to get laid off, i wouldn’t have quit if the ceo wasn’t racist and overworked me physically, i wouldn’t have quit if wasn’t only paid twice a month which barely kept me afloat. i am still actively working hard on my art so that i can eat a little, and i am still actively looking for opportunities. i was recently denied a really good job because i was considering going to school next year. food was deliberately taken out of my mouth after being offered a modeling opportunity just for someone to take it before me because they replied faster than me on the same day (mind you, i was not made aware that others were offered that job until it had been taken a few hours after confirming). i am not ok, and i just want to feel safe and secure right now. i want to feel secure and i want to finally have a full nights sleep. i want to pay off bills, prepare for school next year, and not have to worry about orders from my business. i want  to continue living where i live as my current neighborhood is becoming gentrified— if rent goes up or residents are kicked out, i want to make sure i have some funds on my back.

Below are bills and a job I have applied to that was taken from me— just so you can have a peak of the amount of frustration  I have. Here is a thread about my recent job and how much I have struggled there + being racially targeted:
https://twitter.com/czechwun/status/1431343756251475978?s=21

 

currently, my living situation is ok, but not the best. my bills have been going up due to now having to pay gas (though previously we did not have to before. im not sure what has changed, and the landlord or management company never told us anything) in my apartment. gas was turned off for a whole month while waiting around for someone from national grid to come by and turn it on, and now it is a monthly bill. my old roommate recently left, so me and my two other roommates are currently trying to save for essentials for the kitchen since almost everything was his. the apartment is currently empty and we are seeking furniture for the space. i don’t have much, and i would like to start collecting furniture (just a heads up, this is my first apartment. a few months ago i was subletting under a friend). our window caved in a little after the hurricane, and we have been waiting for repair people since the end of last month. the roof that is above us needs repairs, so i don’t feel that safe if more terrible weather decides to come along. my building is fairly old. 

 

 

 

 

this is what the apartment looks right now. our internet is going to be turned off on the 15th, so im looking for a new provider since that was our roommates wifi!

 

moving on:

being at my last job is what drove me to a mental decline, and while it’s hard to show a documentation of everything, here is some proof that i indeed have therapy, bills, actively looking for jobs and opportunities, etc. it’s not much, but if you want more screenshots i have them.

 

 

 

 

 

….how do you just take an interview from someone?

 

 

all in all, my art business and being a freelance artist is inconsistent when it comes to receiving funds— i do not own an inventory of prints, so running my business is mainly worrying about when I’ll have the funds to get an item to someone. i am having a hard time finding another job since i couldn’t keep mine for a month, and i have been actively doing everything i can to keep afloat. i want to put these funds towards transitioning, bills, food,
school, my business and my safety. i hope this covers almost everything. if you have any questions, im open to answering them. this subject can be very exhausting, so if i missed anything important, i apologize. im just in a desperate time. in the meantime, if you’re not comfy with donating here, here are some other links:

 

cashapp: $czechwun

venmo: czechwun

paypal: raquelstarss

if donate, i give you all my thanks and appreciation. with love,
iya