Help the Armstrongs

Hi, my name is Lisa. This is a story about My beautiful Mother, Mary Lois (aka GANNY). She was born in 1959 in Pasadena Tx.

Due to the same lung disease that her twin siblings passed away from at birth, she wasn't expected to make it but being the miracle she is, she survived and God had plans for her to be his angel on earth! <3

 

Mary Lois has always been the sweetest, kindest, most bashful, modest, humble, caring and loving soul who no matter what obstacles or pain she was dealing with in her own life, she never mentioned it and ONLY tried to look out for everyone else to make sure they were taken care of. She had the most selfless heart for her family and anyone she crossed paths with.

 

Her entire childhood was filled with every type of abuse and neglect imaginable and she spent weeks at a time home alone as a small child needing to provide for herself and her siblings until she met her true love at 15 years old. After meeting through a friend one day, Gerald invited her out for a Honey Bun and a Coke :) After only 2 weeks together, Gerald (aka Paw-Paw) knew they were meant to be and asked her to marry him so that he could provide and protect his sweet girl in 1974. Together, they had 2 children, 3 years apart. 1 boy and 1 girl and spent their life together living in Phenix City, Al.

 

They now have 5 Grandchildren (2 boys/3 girls) and 1 Great Grand child (1 girl)- 2 of the girls live with my parents full time. Her "Babies" were her ENTIRE life. Aside from my Dad, Nothing meant more to her than the love of those kids and she reminded them every single day how precious they are and how proud she is to be their Ganny.

 

Mary Lois lost both of her parents to Cancer, 3 months apart from each other. Her mother had Leukemia and her Father, Lung Cancer. As a child, I remember her heartbreak during this difficult time and the sadness in our house at Christmas for my Dad, brother, and I when she wasn't there for the 1st time in our lives. Watching her mother die with cancer was the hardest thing she said she experienced and was afraid cancer would be inevitable in her family. She said that no matter what, she never wanted to go through chemo and radiation and watch it end the way it did for her mother and would never want anyone she loved to go through that either.

 

They lived in a very Old house that Gerald grew up in and after living there many years, come to find out that the attic had tons of Bats living in it. By breathing the air in the home all this time, Marys sensitive lungs were damaged even further causing another rare lung disease. I was pregnant with London in 2008 when she was told she had 3-5 years left after being diagnosed with this disease along with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, Emphysema, COPD, Asthma etc.

 

Being the petite, (physically) fragile little lady she is, having the lung conditions caused her to cough, a LOT which would crack ribs and have lungs collapse several times and she lived her entire life in pain, but did her very best to hide it because she never wanted anyone to worry about how she felt. ( 5'3 and 100 pounds on a good day, she was the strongest and toughest person I've ever known).

 

She started to hurt more than she could hide and went to the doctor to find the diagnosis of Stage 4 Lung Cancer which spread to her Bones. Although she swore she would never take chemo treatments after watching her mother, she decided she had to fight so that she could stay by the side of the man she loves and all those who depend on her, especially her 2 grand daughters she is a mother to.

 

She completed 74 rounds of radiation and 3 rounds of chemotherapy. The Last Chemo treatment (Taxotere) was made with a "natural plant" Periwinkle, so we were hoping it would be a bit more gentle, but we were so wrong and her body couldn't handle it. in February 2021, we rushed to the ER because she couldn't eat for days, was extremely weak and dehydrated and was scared. Once we arrived, she was given triple pain medications on top of muscle relaxers , anti depressants, etc and she couldn't wake up being so small, the meds were too much. Doctors set the expectations for the most unfortunate outcome and we didn't expect her to make it out. Once we demanded no more pain meds, she started to wake up and became more coherent and repeatedly said "im not going anywhere, God's got me". After 6 days in the hospital, we got to bring her home! :)

 

She had some good days, meaning she could sit up and talk with the kids and try to get around the house a bit but mostly difficult ones, where she couldn't get out of the bed because of lacking oxygen. My dad stayed right by her side, giving her meds, getting her to doctor appointments, cooking and force feeding her for energy, home schooling and helping the girls, running errands and anything it took to keep her rested and as worry free, as possible.

 

They loved spending most of their time together outside on the back porch but once it become more difficult for her to breathe, she couldn't make it out there anymore. In effort to help her breathe easier getting around, he decided to close in their special spot on the porch to build her a new bedroom with a bathroom included so she wouldn't have to leave the room unless she wanted. She was so excited about us decorating it together, but mostly, she was so proud of her sweet husband for the time he solely put into this out of thoughtfulness for her.

 

I spent my birthday over with them on Monday, November 1, relaxing and just hanging out on the couch. She was had a light in her eyes and a beautiful smile on her face. She looked healthier than I had seen her in a while and was able to cook and do a few things around the house. She said she felt like it was her bday because I was in pjs, lounging and spending the day with her and it made her happy. By Wednesday, she started feeling bad and went to the doctor to find a lung infection that she was hoping antibiotics would help with. She asked me if I would come over to see the bedroom progress and when I got there I saw she was progressively getting sicker. A few days later, my dad text saying he needed help because he couldn't handle how sick she was and it was breaking his heart. I thought he was exaggerating a bit or just having a bad day. Mama always text me 1st thing in the morning and ALWAYS a goodnight text, but she quit responding so I knew something was wrong. Once I got to work the next day, I found she was in really bad shape and couldn't breathe or speak even while only laying down so I called the ambulance. After her experience at the hospital last time, she said she didn't want to go and would try to force fluids and food to help build strength (she had not eaten in 5 days). That night, at 3am, my dad convinced her it was time to go to the hospital and she agreed to call the ambulance again.

 

Upon arrival at the ER, they found pneumonia in addition to the other infections which led the Dr to immediately start discussing Hospice to my Father and I. We were both shocked and Devastated. My Dad left the room in tears and as my Mother and I sat alone, she whispered, "im sorry baby, but im dying". I rubbed her head and said "we all are dying Mama, but not today, not you. You're going to be ok". She gave a sad smile and tears went down her cheek and said, " You have to promise me you'll take care of Your Daddy and those girls. He's my love and he needs you. They all need you". I never let her see me sad because I didn't want her to worry, and I know she would.

 

When we finally got to a room the next day, she was out of it again because of medicine given to help her after going into AFIB many times. She finally woke up and I was rubbing her head and asked her -"what are you feeling, not physically, but how do you feel?" She had tears roll down her cheek again and said " Im dying baby. Im so sad, im not to see Jesus, im excited to see Jesus, but im so sad and scared to leave my family. I love my family so much. And your Daddy, he is my love. I love my family". She finally saw me cry for the 1st time since I was a child and she knows it was out of my love for her. She told me she didn't want me to be sad and I promised her I would take care of every one for her.

 

She tried so hard to fight it and although everyone kept coming in talking about Hospice all around her, when she was coherent enough to respond, she wanted to drink or have a bite of something because that was the only way she knew she could get energy to get back home to her babies. She woke up for a few and was able to FaceTime family and even said she wanted to see her new room.

 

I went home to get a nap after being in the hospital for days with no sleep and woke up to a panicked call from my dad saying she's back in AFIB and that she wasn't going to make it. I rushed to the hospital as they were pronouncing her death.

 

Her last breath was taken around 3am on 11.15.2021 with my Daddy holding her hand telling her how much he loves her. I held her in my arms for about 20 minutes and cried on her chest telling her how loved she was, although the angels had already carried her soul back home. Her body was so tired and she had never look so peaceful and for the 1st time, she was not in pain.

 

More than anything, the lesson of my Mother's life, and contrary to everything we see today, its not what you GET in life, but what you GIVE that makes a difference. My Mom was a difference maker and gave so much to us all to make our lives better with nothing but pure love. And for that, I couldn't be more proud to call this sweet lady, Mama.

 

Sadly, my Dad has a huge void with losing the love of his life, best friend and precious woman who spent every single moment with him. He can't bare to be in the room he nursed her in for all these years so the room she was so excited about him building for her, will now be his sanctuary to try to find peace. Although she never got to see it, I know she would love it and everything about it is for her.  He now has 2 girls he is raising alone and is only receives a small amount of disability monthly. Any contributions that could be donated to help with funeral and future expenses are needed and would be so greatly appreciated more than you could imagine.

 

We need all your well wishes and prayers as well to help us get through the loss of GANNY who was the center of our universe and will never be the same without her.

 

Thank you all for taking the time to read about my beautiful mother and my parents beautiful love story <3