The Benson Reed Ingram Scholarship

On July 22nd, 2017, after bravely battling anxiety and depression for many years, my twin brother Ben took his own life.

One year has passed since Ben left us. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't feel his presence and miss him. Sometimes, Ben shows up in my dreams and reassures me that he's okay now — and that he misses me, too. 

As I look back on a year full of longing for Ben, I feel it's my duty as his twin to try to make something positive out of it all. With a lot of excitement, I'm thrilled to announce the Benson Reed Ingram Scholarship at Ole Miss as well as as a paperback book entitled Dreams About Food: Stories by Ben Ingram and Friends.

We would love for you to consider making a donation to the scholarship and/or purchasing a copy of the book. 

For more information about Ben, Dreams About Food, and the mission of his scholarship, please keep reading below.  

The Struggle to Catch Your Stride 

Like many college students, Ben spent his first two years at Ole Miss having plenty of fun. However, Ben was struggling inside. He was burdened by that "So what are you gonna do with your life?" question that no college freshmen knows (or should know) how to answer. Like all of us, Ben scraped his soul to try to figure out where he belonged.

Everyone Loves a Good Turnaround Story

In a glimmer of hope, Ben's internal narrative changed. Unsatisfied and under-challenged academically, Ben buckled down and took a flyer on himself. He decided to apply to the Ole Miss Honor's College late as a junior entrant. Getting in wouldn't be easy, but Ben was willing to try. 

When Ben found out he was accepted he was absolutely thrilled. He gained a noticeable boost in self-esteem that he wore every day like a favorite jacket. I remember feeling so proud for my twin brother and his accomplishment. I was thrilled for what his future would hold.

Go Ben Go! 

Once in the honors college, Ben's brilliance began to prosper. He started taking his studies very seriously, double-majoring in Philosophy and English with an emphasis in Creative Writing. He made excellent grades, consistently impressed his professors, and was beginning to gain a foothold on life's path.

Ben's intellectual energy and desire to learn intensified. Ben began reading fiction voraciously. He pondered endlessly over complex Philosophy topics most wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. The resistance people feel towards challenging topics like Philosophy was precisely why Ben loved studying it.

The Honor's College requires all senior write a 15 page thesis. This gave Ben — for the first time ever in his life — the opportunity to channel his intense curiosity for complex ideas into something tangible. For his thesis, Ben wrote a collection of fictional short stories he titled Dreams About Food.  Ben was going against the grain, as working on a "creative" thesis was not common for most honors students.

Ben picked up renowned Oxford, MS author Tom Franklin as an adviser to his thesis, which lifted Ben's self esteem and intellectual confidence even higher. Ben's stories in Dreams About Food are hilariously witty, profoundly dark, and unbelievably good. They are a straight-shooting, uncensored view into Ben's internal world; Ben's perspective on daily life with a slightly dysfunctional, yet fascinating, southern family.  

Note to reader: if your family isn't at least a little dysfunctional — you're definitely lying to yourself.

After an enormous amount of hard work, Ben completed his thesis and graduated with above a 3.0 GPA

 

The Mission For Ben's Scholarship

Like Ben, so many college students aren't able to tap in to their brilliance right off the bat. They may suffer anxiety from not knowing yet where they belong. They may be feel depressed with a bleak outlook on their future. Sometimes, all they need is a small amount of recognition that they are uniquely talented enough to turn their life around for the better.  

With the Benson Reed Ingram Scholarship, we will start a tradition of rewarding students like Ben who catch their stride late in life. 

The core idea behind Ben's scholarship is that no person's talents should go unrecognized.

 

The scholarship will be fully endowed in perpetuity upon reaching $25,000 in donations. Once endowed, an annual award will be given to one or more Honor's College junior entrants each year.

And, lastly — most importantly to Ben's twin brother — with a full endowment, Ben's legacy can live on forever. 

With love,  

- Lee Ingram 

 

All of the Ingram's (from left: Ben, Liles, Reed, Janet, and Lee) sincerely appreciate any support of Ben's scholarship — no matter how big or small.  We are so thankful for the support  from our community as we continue to cope the loss of Ben.

 

To receive a copy of Dreams About Food, please make a donation of at least $15. After you donate, we will reach out to you via private message to get your shipping address.

Books will be shipped out on Ben and Lee's birthday September 24th. If you'd like multiple copies of the book, feel free to email me at [email redacted] and we'll work something out

Your donation to the Benson Reed  Ingram Memorial Scholarship Fund qualifies as a charitable donation for tax purposes. We will provide acknowledgement of your charitable contribution when the books are shipped. If you have questions, email [email redacted]

 

**Edit by Lee** 
I'm feeling inspired and decided to try to write  a story of my own. I hope you enjoy it. 

The Double-Order:

The "twin telepathy" thing is no myth. It could really be quite baffling at times. How was it possible for Ben to know exactly what I was thinking? Why was it that we really did finish each other's sentences?  And, why on earth would Ben and I frequently crave Whataburger at the exact — and I mean exact — same moment? 

Ben used to always double-order  Whataburger, meaning he would order a full Whataburger meal, scarf it down in less than 2 minutes, and then order another  whataburger meal, eating it even faster than the first. When he was done, without fail, Ben would keel over and heave in pain while regretting his decision and contemplating an ER visit.

Ben's double-order feast was quite a gluttonous scene to witness — it was a spiritual journey; a pilgrimage. A blessed burger caravan walking through lakes of ketchup and forests of french fries. Whataburger was like church to Ben.  I seriously think he may have worshiped it.

I'm gonna take it back to our AP Psychology class. Ben's double-order progression was like seeing a time-lapse of Kübler-Ross's five stages of death and dying, in 5 minutes, right in front of you. He should go back to the class and do a presentation. 

Stage 1: Denial 
I'm not really about to eat two Whataburger meals again. No way.
Well... Maybe I should ask Lee what he thinks.  

Stage 2: Anger 
God. I wish my bitch ass brother would quit laughing at me for wanting  two Whataburgers. I'm gonna beat his ass. 

Stage 3: Bargaining
Look. I mean it this time.  This is the LAST time I will eat two Whataburger meals in a row. I promise. Pinky swear. 

Hey! I know I said the same thing last time! But I'm hungry RIGHT NOW, okay?  Last time isn't relevant to right now. 

We're living in the here and now mannnnnnn. Amirite?

Case closed. We're done here. Initiating burger inhalation.

Stage 4: Depression
If you or a loved one has ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Whataburger Inhalation Disorder, please call the toll free number on the screen.

You do not have to go it alone. Please seek help. Call the burger hotline on screen.

Stage 5: Acceptance
There is no disconnection between the self and the burger. I have accepted that double-ordering is my new reality.

When I hold that juicy Whataburger in my hands — ONLY after inhaling one  already — I become one with my blissful center. With my inner Cheesekra.

Self control is an illusion, as there is no self to control.  Ommmmmm

Wait a minute. Isn't self control one of those lame ass Fruits of The Spirit from Sunday School? Lammmmeeeee. 

love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self control 

Oh shit. I didn't realize I still remembered those. Amazing. Why can't I get my brain to count cards in Vegas instead?

I mean.. the Fruits of The Spirit? 

Sigh....I'm gonna go order a cinnamon roll.