The Emley's Hope For a Baby
Our journey to bring a baby into this world has been complex, educational (of the hard knocks variety), and at times rather tumultuous.
Like most couples we thought, “We're healthy! This’ll be easy!”
Yet, after a year with no luck, we quickly realized we were going to need medical assistance.
Optimistically we thought, “Well, we have tons of friends who've done IVF. They've had success… so will we!” Sadly, that was not to be our story either.
During these last 5 years, we have gone through 3 failed IUIs, a stint in the hospital (due to a doctor dangerously over medicating Fiona), and 2 failed IVFs. We have been humbled like never before. Our hearts were broken, we were financially drained, and physically exhausted. To say we were devastated would be an understatement.
So, here we are at a new precipice. Our doctors are very confident that we would become successfully pregnant with the use of a donor egg (80 % chance of success), and this route will give us our dream of being parents and experiencing the miracle of life.
Since none of these things are covered by insurance and would be completely out of pocket, our friends encouraged us to create this GO FUND ME page to send to people who love us and would want to support our dream of having a child.
Our goal is to reach $32,000 for a Donor Egg IVF procedure. This would cover the cost of donor eggs, the transfer procedure, ultrasounds, doctors visits, medications, and any other incidentals along the way.
For those who don't know much about the process of egg donation, this is the general break down: Our doctor finds a donor in their 20s who looks like Fiona (blonde, brown eyes, 5'8", caucasian...etc), takes James' sperm and creates an embryo. Then they take that embryo and implant it into Fiona's uterus. The entire process can take anywhere from 2 weeks to 4 months, and again the success rate of such procedures are incredibly high.
Yet, the really fascinating part of this is something they call epigenetics. "Epigenetics is an emerging area of scientific research that shows how environmental influences actually affect the expression of genes. This means the old idea that genes are “set in stone” has been disproven. Nature vs. Nurture is no longer a debate. It’s nearly always both!" - Center of the Developing Child, Harvard University
So, even though at the time of conception the embryo may not be Fiona's DNA, as it grows inside of her womb Fiona's blood will pump through this child, and HER genes will decide what DNA turns on and off within the baby. Pretty cool, right? Our doctor also shared with us that they recently discovered SOME of the mother's DNA (in this case Fiona) can actually pass into the brain of the child as she carries it.
Our friend who has had 2 children via egg donation describes it like this, "My kids are 50% my husband, 25% me, and 25% the donor." This is how we are embracing it too.
Yes, our journey has been tough. Yet, we are so grateful for the science that can make this happen. Our doctors are confident about our next step, and our friends and family continue to cheerlead us along the way. We have so much faith that with your help we will succeed in bringing 1 or more happy, healthy babies into this world. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your love and for helping our dreams become a reality.
LOVE,
Fiona & James