The "Sammy-sized" GAP.

We lost our funny, loving, and beautiful boy Sam far too soon and the ‘Sammy-sized gap’ he has left behind can never be filled. We told him frequently that the world was a better place with him in it and that he was loved. We holidayed together as a family; we socialised together as a family. We talked about everything together. We were those parents that never imagined it could possibly happen to them. We were wrong!

We are setting up this page to help develop and fund the necessary support channels for other young people like Sam, of whom there are frighteningly too many; young people struggling with Mental Health issues who, in the absence of the appropriate help, seek alternative solutions and coping strategies.

Our initial fund-raising target of £5000, is aimed in the first instance at establishing the possible ways and means to help fill the GAP, and to begin to estimate the short- and longer-term funding requirements needed to take this initiative forward significantly.

Our aims are:

1. To set up a Narberth-based helpline that gives people immediate access via all social media platforms to someone who is equipped to offer help or guidance ‘in the moment’, at any time of the day or night. Young people, particularly, do not always reach out verbally but will text or message for help. This first contact may be on their own behalf or on behalf of a friend they are concerned about.

2. To work closely with other agencies and campaign both local and national Government for a more ‘joined-up’ approach that can manage co-dependent issues such as Mental Health and Substance Use.

3. There must be a change in Government Policy to allow friends and family to refer adults they are worried about to the relevant agencies, and for those agencies to be able to act on this information and reach out to offer help directly to the referred individuals.

One alternative and, tragically, readily available coping strategy that people of all ages and backgrounds in towns just like Narberth turn to for help, is ‘self-medication’. This can mean alcohol, illicit drugs and even prescription drugs. These behaviours are viewed as separate social issues rather than a co-dependant Mental Health issue. For this reason, they are dealt with by yet more resource-deficient agencies from different branches of the Health and Social Care network.

For those with a need for multi-agency support, signposting from one agency to another is not good enough. It is so demoralising to people that the help they need is not readily available when they desperately need it. The outcome for many at a time of crisis, is that they are deflected to other agencies for part of their issue - this results in vulnerable, often chaotic, people being asked to contact at least two separate agencies, (in some cases, three) in order to make - and keep - separate appointments!

The GAP between these services needs to be filled!

It should be obvious that help needs to be accessible when it’s needed, and tailored cohesively to the whole person’s experience, not divided, and dealt out piecemeal by separate agencies.

Young people often don’t feel worthy of the limited help available – they believe that there are other more needy people than them. Many lack the necessary confidence or will-power to find their way to effective support and are easily put off when they feel they are a burden to the system. By the time they are seen by someone qualified to help them, they have deteriorated into more risky behaviours that require intervention from yet another agency that has a further waiting list. It’s no wonder so many fall through the GAPs.

The parents and friends of people who are so obviously suffering feel utterly helpless. Family members and friends cannot instigate an intervention on behalf of the individual – it has to come from the person themselves. They must actively and consistently pursue help in order for the relevant agencies to recognise them and place them on their waiting lists.

If you know our Sam or know of another young person who is struggling with the kind of issues young people are facing today and who might be tempted to seek out ways which they believe will numb the pain/anxiety/hurt/loneliness/sadness/fear/feelings of isolation/despondency and joylessness, please give as much as you are able to this fund. On Sam’s behalf, we will be very grateful. Thank you.

Clare, Alun, Charly, Dave and Sam's loving Grandparents