Then God Gave Them a Warrior!

Pull up a chair, perhaps even a nice cup of coffee, and let me tell you a story. A story from the heart of a mom, the heart of a grandma; my heart.

Since the moment my youngest son Jagger was born, he was something uniquely special. He had a tenderness, a gentleness about him, which aren’t words most people would choose in describing their toddlers or teenagers. As he grew, I dubbed him the animal-whisperer because even animals were drawn to his caring and sensitive nature.

Then enters Maddie, the love of Jagger’s life. Maddie is wonderful in SO MANY ways. She is smart, she is funny, she is sweet, she is exceedingly thoughtful, she is strong, she is beautiful, and she truly has a heart for pleasing her husband, spoiling him in many ways every single day. (And in fairness, he spoils her as well; you guys, they are seriously adorable.) So can you imagine, the absolute JOY I was gifted when Jags married Maddie?!?

….and then… came the baby news!!! By the time Thanksgiving would arrive, we’d have a brand-new bundle of joy in the family to love and adore! And while they (of course) wanted a healthy baby first and foremost, Jags knew immediately he was hoping for a baby girl. Maddie's heart melted hearing him be the first to say he wanted a girl.

As the time to learn the gender arrived, I was entrusted with the “pink or blue?” knowledge. Jagger and Maddie decided their gender reveal celebration would be a surprise to them right along with friends and family. So, when that powder exploded with pink there were tears of joy and laughter to be shared by all!

Suddenly it was summer, and Jagger’s older brother Justice, and this excited grandma co-hosted a diaper keg on our side of Minnesota. Friends and family gathered bringing packs of diapers, wipes, and smiles in support of them. Together we chatted and laughed, ate tacos-in-a-bag, and enjoyed each other’s company while taking in the perfect day full of sunshine and happiness.

The fall brought beautiful burgundy and gold decorations in the spirit of “A Little Pumpkin is on the Way!” themed baby shower. Jagger’s sister Christine and this (now very anxious) grandma, happily co-hosted on their side of Minnesota so additional family and friends were able to sit together playing silly games, opening gifts, and sampling different kinds of chili. It was picture perfect and abundant in blessing!

Now we were reaching November of 2022; the very month this precious baby girl would join our family! And at 34 weeks, Maddie faithfully went to her regular checkup as she always did. However, this one didn’t turn out as the others always did. This time, baby girl’s heart rate was slowing, and the clinic quickly sent them to the hospital. But by the time Jags and Maddie arrived, it was too late. Their precious baby girl, that gave us silly ultrasound pictures, strong heartbeats with good checkups, celebrated over and over with a gender reveal, and baby showers- was gone.

I’ll never forget the phone call I got that afternoon from MY baby. As he choked back the tears trying to swallow his pain, yet sounding so strong said to me, “Mom, she didn’t make it.”

She. Didn’t. Make. It.

Have you ever heard those words? The words that rip your whole world open and expose an ugly one. A painful one. A life-is-never-going-to-be-the-same, one. And at that moment, the 200 miles between us felt like 2 billion. What I would have given to be at my baby’s side at that very moment to hug him, to hold him, to cry with him.

The hospital presented Jags and Maddie with two impossible options:

Go home and try to get some rest for the labor ahead, which would provide the opportunity to choose the only outfit their baby girl would ever wear, or immediately prepare to be induced.

Can you imagine? You’ve just lost your baby girl, in the womb, who otherwise would’ve been born healthy, and you’re sent home to think about her, as you carry her, and prepare for the excruciating pain of delivering a child you don’t get to keep.

OR- exhausted, scared, in a whirlwind of emotions and exhaustion, prepare immediately to have your very first labor be induced. Being afraid of the pain, being numb from the tragedy, and just wishing it was all a bad dream you could awaken from.

Our strong, brave, beautiful Maddie went home to return the next day. And following 16 hours of active labor, she delivered their baby girl, Elliott Noelle on November 9, 2022, at 2:14 a.m.; as if a nod to Valentine’s Day and all the love for this precious baby girl that opened her eyes to Jesus.

As reality unfolded and weighed on them making it hard to even breathe, they went home to a cradle in the living room and a bedroom full of celebration of a little girl to come. They made the necessary arrangements, and the world grew quiet, dark, and still.

We would all later learn that the cause of death was a massive fetal maternal hemorrhage, the loss of blood cells into the maternal circulation. Commonly this diagnosis follows trauma-related complications to pregnancy, but that didn’t apply in this case. Approximately 5% of stillbirths without apparent cause are the result of fetal hemorrhage. FIVE PERCENT. And that was their cause.

The sun rose, the sun set. Over and over and over. At some point the sunlight began to appear more vivid, and we held onto the promise that God has a plan, and His plans are for our good. We are instructed to lean not on our own understanding, and we certainly can’t tie any understanding to this. But I believe that someday- even the most trivial of things will all make sense. But for now, we must trust. Trust Him. And trust we did, trust we do, and trust we always will.

With one foot in front of the other, and Elliott regularly on our minds, we reached November 2023, and what would’ve been Elliott’s first birthday. December brought Christmas; another milestone felt. But just before the turn of the New Year, Jagger and Maddie surprised not only us, but themselves as well, sharing they were once again pregnant!! We were all so excited for them it's hard to even put into words! To have witnessed the trials, the pain, the feeling of hopelessness; and here they were, overcoming it all, placing one foot in front of the other.

Of course, we're all human and at the same time our hearts were jumping for joy for them, I think we were all holding our breath. Having some fear seems like a natural response, no? Ahhh, but remember all that talk about trusting God? Yessss. Now that's not to say satan doesn't jump in there vomiting thoughts of doubt and insecurity, but then there He is. Trusted Him then, trust Him now, trusting Him always.

The appointments began in February, starting out small with confirmation of the pregnancy. The beginning of March, now around 8 weeks stepped it up with an ultrasound and heartbeat, possibly Maddie's favorite way to playfully guess boy or girl. Heart rate was saying boy, and mama Maddie was (at least subconsciously) convinced baby number two is a boy. :) But that would have to wait until 20 weeks along!

In the meantime, Jaggers job as an electrician was taking him far from home. He was traveling an hour and a half one-way just to get to work. Work a full day, then another hour and a half back. The added strain on their car definitely took its toll, and now they are in need of some expensive repairs and/or replacing the vehicle altogether. But the two of them worked together to try and coordinate whatever appointments they could so Jags could be a part of them. And though it can be hard to remember with our current climbing temps, he had some very severe (snowy) weather to tackle a couple of times. Just not good stuff, but God got them through.

As things progress, Maddie is starting to see some elevated blood pressure to the point that they decide they're going to put her on medication for it. As a result, they've decided not to let her go beyond 37 weeks, or August 15th. So we're getting excited now because things are falling into place, and we have a date!!

April 18th brings week 20 into play and it's time to learn pink or blue!?! So the two of them headed to the clinic for the longer appointment to measure and do all the stuff. So this grandma had her mind in one place all morning until finally my phone rang! (I love that they didn't make me wait!!!) I SQUEALED when they announced, "It's a boy!"

I mean let's be real. I'm grandma. I don't actually care if it's a boy or a girl, because I am over the moon ecstatic for these two!! But a teeny-tiny part of me would LOVE to see a mini-Jags! So when they said boy, how could I not squeal?!?

Soon after it's determined that seeing a specialist will be in mom and baby's best interest. Not for every appointment, but as time goes on those appointments would be more frequent. See, if you're like me, you've never heard of globular placenta. But when Jags and Mads were told baby boy had this complication, grandma's become research assistants. What I learned:

Globular placenta is a rare type of abnormal placenta morphology characterized by a small placental volume and placental thickening. What does that mean exactly? The doctors stated they would watch as it could affect babies' ability to grow. Essentially, I think of it as baby boys swimming pool is shallow, and the water is at risk of thickening. What this means is baby must be closely monitored to ensure timely intervention.

But we can do this! We are trusting Him!

So last week, a couple of baby boy's biggest fans, his other grandma Jennifer and I, started planning our co-hosted, baby boy, shower. We were Amazon shopping the cutest of things and settled on a theme of, "We Can Bearly Wait to Meet You!" foreseeing lots of soft, cuddly teddy bears with blues and browns, so the Facebook invite was sent!

As it turns out, the "we can BEARLY wait to meet you" needed a little more life-emphasis on the BEARLY. Meaning, we're excited, but we CAN wait! But God had other plans for us once again.

Ms. Maddie faithfully went to her specialist appointment on Tuesday, June 18th, where she received the official diagnosis of baby boy being growth restricted and absent end-diastolic flow, or AEDF. This meant a critical change in course, and soon after she was admitted to the hospital.

The next morning, Wednesday June 19th, an "ologist" of some kind (they couldn't remember the name :) came to see them. That doctor confirmed that Maddie would be inpatient for at least two weeks, and instead of a goal of August 15th, the new goal was to keep baby boy on the inside until ideally July 11th. This would give him a nice, solid, fighting chance at a healthy survival. But the next 48 hours were the most critical. That time would allow for him to receive steroids crucial to his lung development. So Maddie got as comfortable as she could, preparing to spend at least the next two weeks primarily bedridden and in the hospital.

Thursday arrived, June 20th, and Jagger made the decision to go back to work in an effort to save some of his limited paid time off. But when Friday morning, June 21st arrived, something told Jagger not to go- and he was right. Baby boys' morning monitoring session showed decelerations in his heart rate. This had been a change from the night before, most likely caused by reversal of umbilical artery end-diastolic flow, or REDF. Ultimately, the blood flow via umbilical cord was at risk, which meant baby was also at risk- and a c-section was scheduled to occur within a couple hours.

As the cesarean section began, they found that a fibroid they were aware of and had been watching, was directly in the path of getting to baby. So Maddie had to be cut in a higher location than normal because of the need to remove the fibroid. That means any potential children they might have would now also have to be born via c-section.

You guys, God is here. And he showed up. Over and over and over. He led Maddie to a new doctor that turned out to be amazing. That doctor led her to the specialist. That specialist did an ultrasound at the perfect timing to place them into inpatient care. They were being very well cared for and closely monitored AFTER the crucial 48 hours of steroids, and before it came to the point of baby being in distress. And baby boy was born...

Titus Marshall McKenzie, 2.1 pounds, 15 inches long - and a WARRIOR!

This baby boy, our Titus, is a warrior, WRAPPED in prayer warriors!! God has His hand on their precious, tiny, son. And we praise Him for that!!!

Amongst the good news and bad, the reality of day to day must be considered, which is why I'm telling you our story. Jagger and Maddie, couple on the cusp of recovering from the loss of their baby girl have been getting hit financially ever since. The unexpected finances from saying goodbye to your child. The otherwise reliable vehicles that both were suddenly in need of repair at the same time, within a few weeks of Elliott's passing; an incredibly major repair for one of them, to the point it was repaired and sold for something less expensive to eliminate a loan payment.

Now that older, less expensive vehicle has had the wear and tear of longer job sites and is in need of new tires as well as something undiagnosed within the wheels/steering. Medical expenses now, and medical expenses to come, as Titus is expected to be in the NICU until his original due date. Wages lost; Maddie has a phenomenal employer that treats her very well, but it's a small business and a paid maternity isn't something that is offered. Maddie had been regularly working extra hours to accumulate comp time to save up for a maternity leave; that entire picture looks different now. And depending how he grows, daycare could become an issue with returning to work at a common time. Food while away from home to be with Titus. Gas to get to and from.... you name it. There is far more than I can even fathom right now, and these are just the things I know about.

Then there is YOU. Any financial contribution you can afford to make for these kids is VERY appreciated. $5, $25, $2500! Whatever God is leading you to give them, would you please? And if you cannot afford anything, would you commit to praying for the three of them and all of their needs mentioned? We believe in the power of prayer, so it is very much appreciated as well!

And please, share the heck out of this!! I had absolutely no idea how much to list for a goal because I can't even begin to add their costs. But if you contribute financially or prayerfully, and you share this GoFundMe story, maybe we accumulatively can show them so much love and support they will be speechless with nothing to do but focus on doing whatever is necessary to get Titus the Warrior HOME!!