To gain the confidence and happiness to live again

Hello, My name is Venita Quinn. I am a 44 year old female from Co. Armagh in Northern Ireland. I have had a long list of health problems from early on in my childhood.

My main objective is to receive money towards the cost of dental implants, hairbands, wigs etc.

I grew up in a family with a lot of mental health problems. I have a twin sister who I am really close with and another brother and sister who are also twins. We have our up’s and down’s like all siblings but would be lost without each other. I had a childhood full of anxiety and fear. My mother through no fault of her own has suffered severe mental health problems throughout her life. I grew up in fear of people not accepting me because of this. I guess we all did. My father did his best to help and shield us from this environment but it was hard. I did not have a normal childhood because of this. Nobody knows the consequences of actually having a mental illness unless you have endured it yourself. I would love to make it more acceptable for people to treat, support and acknowledge that these people have an illness just like having a physical illness. More money needs to be spent on research on understanding the mind and helping these people without relying on medication. These people are not odd, they are you and me and this can happen to anyone unexpectedly.

At age 10 I got really sick and thought that my life was over. I was diagnosed with renal failure after constant doctors appointments. I was immediately put on pertinal dialysis. I performed this treatment myself at home for a year until I received a kidney transplant. This was so hard to accept as all my friends and family where getting on with their lives. Where I was spending it in and out of hospital terrified of dying. It was hard being young. Not many people early 90’s in my country had encountered renal failure. It was very rare and I did not have anyone to talk to for emotional support who understood what I was going through. During this time I suffered anxiety issues with the side effects from my medication, being bullied, called names because I looked different.

I developed an eating disorder when I was 16 which developed into bulimia and eventually had to be sectioned as I would have lost my life. My weight dropped down to just under 4 stone. I was in hospital for roughly 4 months and then I got released. I gradually put on weight and eventually got to a healthy weight. I managed to get myself a job during this time and started to feel happy again as I was experiencing some kind of normality. During this time at 21 my kidney transplant could not cope anymore and finally rejected. I was put back on dialysis, this time heamo dialysis which meant going 3 times a week for 4 hour sessions each time. I honestly dreaded it, as I was terrified I might not survive each treatment. It was definitely more intensive. It left me so fatigued where all I did was sleep most days. I eventually got a call for another transplant 10 years later which caused further problems. My hair started to fall out due to the immune suppressant medication which has caused me great depression. I now rely on hats to wear every day and my teeth have eventually all decayed. I cannot eat alot of foods because of this. Due to most dentists going private now and the massive waiting lists to get treatment on the NHS I find it impossible to get most of my nutrition as most foods have a hard texture. I am still really young and in tears every day as no one seems to want to help me. I would love to get out and work again to earn money but feel I know longer can achieve this due to my long list of health problems. Extreme exhaustion, pain and severe depression. My father’s health has declined 10 years now where he is at the stage of full time care. My siblings and I are responsible for all his care needs. It is exhausting and emotionally challenging on top of my own health problems. I basically have no income to support myself so I have to remain at home. I find myself questioning everything why has life been so hard and so challenging for us all.

To give me more independence and confidence I would love to receive dental implants but at the cost I was quoted at £17,000 this is impossible. Due to my financial status of not being able to work. I am still young and feel this would give me the freedom of trying to get work, to live more dependently even just a couple of days a week and to nutritionally support myself. I would also be entirely grateful for help towards a wig or scarfs headbands etc to give me the freedom without hats. I would not normally do this but I have come to a stage in life where I can’t find joy in life anymore. I love life, nature, friends and family etc but find more and more it’s impossible to live without fear and anxiety. I would just love to feel happiness again, to gain the freedom and confidence to live. I have grown up with a life of severe hardship partly out of my control. To receive implants would improve the quality of my life so much. I could eat and talk normally and would have the confidence to smile again. This honestly would make a massive difference to my life.

I want to Thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read this, to have your support and understanding will not go unnoticed. I don’t normally show my vulnerability so please sympathise that this took a lot of courage to write. I would be grateful if everyone could share my story with as many people as you can. It would honestly mean the world to have all your help to reach my target

Much Love and Many Venita Xx