TOUGH MUDDER 2024 - IN MEMORY OF BARRY MARTIN

This is a hard thing to write, and I’ve hummed and hawed, and downright avoided doing this because at this point my brain literally feels like mush.

My husband and the father of my wonderful twin boys, died 14 months ago now.

Our world stopped turning.

Barry was my best friend, my side kick, my soul mate. We met when I was 16 and he, 18. It’s an incredible love story. I am so proud of us. My heart literally glows with it. 

He loved football, music, the gym, business, fried chicken, a good cold beer, banter, Sylvester Stallone, and he was the love of my life.

He was the most remarkable man, and an absolutely brilliant Firefighter. He was so passionate about his work, and so motivated to be the best Firefighter he could be. From the moment he started training in 2020, he was somebody so conscientious about delivering an excellent standard of service. Barry really cared about standards, and he thrived when he was serving his community in the hours of need.

My husband attended a fire which occurred in the former Jenners building in Edinburgh on Monday 23rd January 2023, he was day shift that day. And he never came home.

Barry’s injuries were extremely serious and he died on Friday 27th January 2023. I had to tell his boys who were 8 years old at the time, that daddy was not coming home.

Still, 14 months on, I don’t know how we do it.

I don’t know how I do it.

But I know I have to keep going. For Barry, and for the family he gave me.

Barry loved Tough Mudder. He took part with one of his best mates, Garry, the year before the boys were born. I was pregnant at the time and I remember how much he loved it.

He always wanted to go back, and do it again.

He and I always hoped to do it together, but we just never got the time to really commit to it with our jobs and family life.

After some thought, after Barry died, I thought it would be a fitting thing to do, to arrange to do Tough Mudder with a team of Barry’s colleagues and friends.

The event will take place on Saturday 15th June and ‘Team Barry’ will consist of 10 brave individuals. Unfortunately on this occasion, I am not one of them as I recently had surgery and am dealing with some health problems. (Maybe next year!)

My long term aim is to start a charity in memory of my wonderful husband. To give back to the community, to provide services for trauma, to help colleagues with support after a traumatic event, to provide bereaved children with support, to provide liaison training to ensure effective communication and a person centered approach, and to set up mediation training and access for families to communicate, discuss. and address any issues. The charity will provide mental health support where it is needed most. Although initially, the framework is based around the emergency services, it is a charity for all, and nobody will be turned away. There is a place for everyone.

All of the services our charity will provide, is based on my own experiences since my husband died. I am on the fastest and steepest learning curve of my life, I have to use it for something, whilst my heart is full of love and my brain is working overtime.

100% of the money raised for this event will be held safely and then deposited into the registered charities account which I anticipate will be available once the charity has been registered - one of my main tasks ahead. My intention is to be fully transparent and therefore, I will be sharing updates regularly through social media.

I thank you in advance and in anticipation of your donation to a wonderful cause. I look forward to sharing the launch of our charity with you, where you can follow and see exactly what your donation has brought to its infancy.

I can’t wait for you to be part of it.

With our love, thanks and respect,

Shelley, Oliver, and Daniel Martin.

#teambarry