True aftermath of suicide

Hi, my name is Amber, I am trying to raise money for my family after a tremendous tragedy that destroyed our family on Christmas Eve of 2023. My fiancé, my child’s father, decided to take his own life with a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head outside of my son’s bedroom. Not only did my nine year old lose his father that day, but we also lost our safe place we called home. Unfortunately, I can now say I know what true horror looks like. And after the body is gone, the mess left behind is indescribable and left for you to clean up. My emotions are running wild because I have so much anger towards him for doing this to us, for leaving us, because he left a horrendous scar that will haunt us for the rest of our lives. But as much as I hate him right now for doing this, I miss him more than anything. He was my best friend. My true love, my person, at one point my better half. He struggled with depression and anxiety, which also came with addiction, I begged him to get help, I begged him to talk to me about the demons in his head. He just kept getting worse. He loved me more than anything, but it was an unhealthy love, because he no longer loved himself. He slowly started giving up on things that were once important. On that tragic day, all of our lives stopped, we can no longer live in that home and all my nine year old wants now is to start fresh, a new apartment, most of the furniture was destroyed, windows were broken, true destruction throughout our home. He was the sole provider for the family. Towards the end he was laid off from work, our cars engine blew and life just kept throwing punches our way. I told him we could get through anything if we just stayed strong, but life wasn’t done throwing punches at us and ultimately became our demise. There’s a quote I heard once about suicide and it hits me so deeply I’d like to share it with all of you.

Have you ever seen the aftermath of a suicide bombing? I have. June 29th, 2003. I was meeting two associates at the Marauch restaurant in Tel Aviv. As my car was pulling up, a 20 year-old Palestinian named Ghazi Safar detonated a vest wired with C4. The shock wave knocked me flat, blew out my eardrums. The smoke…it was like being underwater. I went inside. A nightmare. Blood, parts of people. You could tell where Safar was standing when the vest blew. It was like a perfect circle of death. There was almost nothing left of the people closest to him. 17 dead, 45 injured. Blown to pieces. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect.

That’s every suicide. Every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who’s ever known you. Everyone who’s ever loved you. The people closest to you are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to the people who love you?

Raymond “Red” Reddington, “The Blacklist

our family needs a cheap vehicle, money for an apartment and new furniture. All my son wants is a fresh start, please I’m begging anyone that can help me acheive the funds needed to give my son the fresh start we need. It literally would be life changing for us. We simply cannot go back into that home. There will forever be part of us that died when Jason pulled that trigger.