Tuere and Thaddius - A Time of Deep Need

From me, Erin Treat:

I'm writing to you with a sincere invitation to give in a time of deep need. Please share widely. Our beloved Tuere, who I met over a decade ago as part of a leadership training, has served people her whole life—on committees and groups, as a prosecutor for 25 years, as a dharma teacher and leader at Seattle Insight Meditation Society (SIMS) since 2001, and teaching mindfulness and non-violent communication to men and women in prisons, homeless shelters, womens’ transitional housing, and various BIPOC groups throughout the greater Seattle area. She currently serves as a co-chair of the Guiding Teachers Council at Spirit Rock, and as a Co-Guiding Teacher at SIMS.

Tuere’s youngest son, Thaddius (on the right in the picture), was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in March, 2020, when he was just 34 years old. He was given less than a year to live. Given the size and location of his tumor, he was not eligible for surgery or radiation treatment.

Thaddius is currently in palliative care. This means there is no cure for his cancer.

This is an opportunity to support Tuere, who has given so much to so many, and for those who live with greater advantage to engage in income redistribution. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me. Below are words from both Tuere and Thaddius.

A few words from Tuere:

I want to share some words about Thaddius’ character. Thaddius is a bodhisattva. He believes that this cancer is one of the best things that has ever happened to him because it has given him the opportunity to spend so much time with his daughter. He says that when you face the reality of death, you gain perspective. Whenever I get stressed out about anything - life, teaching schedule, finances - he simply reminds me of the secret wisdom that all I need is perspective. Thaddius is an easygoing person. He is also extremely funny. His upbeat and positive temperament has enabled me to stay upbeat and positive through all of this.

Thaddius and Angie met last year. They are a match made in heaven. Angie was fully aware of Thaddius’ diagnosis and the state of his illness, but still said yes when he asked her to marry him.

Secretly, he has said to me, “Mama, I can’t believe I’m getting married. Did you ever believe that would happen?” Secretly, she has said to me, “Mama, I can’t believe I’m getting married. Thaddius saved my life.” And secretly, I have said to myself, “I can’t believe Thaddius is getting married to someone who cares about him as much as I do.”

The day they got married was the happiest day of my life.

Since his diagnosis, Thaddius has lived with me in my studio apartment, and I have been the sole financial provider for him, Angie, and their daughter, my granddaughter. Now he and Angie want to move into their own place.

I don’t know how long Thaddius will live. Given his current health situation, it's unlikely that he will be alive in a year. I would like to make this his best year ever, surrounded by the love of his wife and daughter.

All financial contributions offered will allow Thaddius and his family to move, will help pay for their ongoing rent, utilities, phones, gas and groceries, and will support payment of future long-term, home health care services as Thaddius’ health declines.

A few words from Thaddius:

I often look back on the time of my cancer diagnosis and remember the crushing feeling I had when the doctor first told me. As I laid on a hospital gurney, I cried, uncontrollably. Feeling the weight of death and uncertainty. Eventually I found myself in Dr. Hannan's office where she broke down the severity of my cancer. I remember how the doctor was reluctant to say, preparing herself for the inevitable breakdown of tears and/or fears but through the strength and wisdom of my mother, we were strong and prepared for the fight.

It was during this time I connected to God and the spirit world. Through meditation and long nights of conversations, I realized I didn't have to be afraid. In truth it was my daughter that gave me the strength and willingness to fight. I didn't know when she was born how much of an impact she would have on the rest of my life.

Then I met my beloved wife. To see and feel her love for me knowing I was dying was even more empowering. Many nights of crying together because of the pain and fatigue brought us closer together. I could choose to live my remaining days in despair or understand the importance and value of the time I have left.

As my time draws to an end, I have been blessed with love, support, and kindness from those around me. I hope that I too have lived with love and kindness, that I have made an impact in people's lives and that I am not forgotten. I wish for all humankind to see the beauty in this life even through times of darkness. I pray that those I leave behind are taken care of and can focus on grieving the loss of me, find ways to honor my life and death and realize, no matter what, I'll always be in your heart. Love is the key. I am truly grateful to say I lived it, experienced it, and gave it to those around me.